Dear Sir,

I have just attended yet another funeral to bury a loved one. It is during these times that our thoughts wander to the choices we have made throughout our lifetime as we reflect on our lives and those of our loved ones, colleagues and community members.

Invariably, we remember the good and bad times along with the good choices we have made that make us proud and the bad choices we have made that make us regretful.

For a lot of us, the world we live in and see seems topsy-turvy and just doesn’t make sense. Along with the precious moments of joy and happiness, we find ourselves digging deep to channel our strength and fortitude to navigate through the personal, professional and political challenges and losses that seem to build up in complexity and occur more frequently over time.

We hope to learn from both states of being so that we can repeat what works and stop what does not work. Unfortunately, we encounter blockages along the way that prevent us from a higher and sustained learning of these teachable moments that always come our way. Sometimes these blockages are self-imposed or sometimes we are misguided by external influences that blindside us or overwhelm us.

There are so many quotes and euphemisms that we hear or say that describe these circumstances and outcomes. I won’t bore you with repeating those that you can easily insert for your reflection. However, I will appeal to you to remember something I think, say and strive to remember on the regular:

“Although we cannot control the actions of others and how those actions may affect us, we can 100 per cent control how we choose to react to those actions and effects.”

We may not be successful in all that we endeavour. However, there is a 100 per cent guarantee that we can avoid regret if our choices are harmonious with the basic tenets that define the best of our humanity as individuals and as part of our community collective.

I’ve just recently discovered this quote by Abraham Lincoln that brilliantly defines this notion:

“With malice towards none, with charity for all ... to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.”

Imagine if we choose to demand this for ourselves, for those around us and for those who lead us. It is not that hard to do, and we have the power to do it.

As we grow older, I think most of us take it for granted that with age will come wisdom. That as we get closer to our last days that we will resolve our conflicts and work towards peace with ourselves and those around us.

That is why we look to those to lead us who have experience and knowledge that can only be achieved when we live more and more with diversity, openness and awareness. For some folks, their life circumstances require them to search for these attributes versus those who are exposed to them much more easily.

We all see these differences and disparities as we live longer and encounter more people and experiences. Unfortunately, some folks either intentionally or mistakenly use diversity to divide, openness to prejudge and awareness to overpower.

You can choose to not be one of those folks. You can choose to demand the same from those who lead us. Let’s do better and be better to live and breathe our power to make the right choices so that we can live and die without regret.

I know I will. Will you?

TASHA JONES