IN the wake of the Parliamentary fiasco surrounding Renee Webb's Private Member's Bill, I think I've finally figured out our Government's affinity for Cuba. Our leaders obviously admire the lack of civil and human rights the Cuban government affords its citizens.

Seriously, though, I keep thinking I'm going to wake up from some awful nightmare and realise that the whole Scott leadership has been one big joke. Yes, someday I will open my eyes and awaken and the Progressive Labour Party (the "People's Party") will still be led by Jennifer Smith, Colonel Burch will be back in his proper role as handbag-carrier (and alleged foot-massager) to the Dame, Alex Scott will have been Devented (i.e. fired from his Ministerial position for screwing up so royally which is what he did to Ashfield for being unable to clean up his Works & Engineering mess) and be sitting on the backbenches and we will be enjoying a truly participatory democracy. Instead I am only too aware that today, the "People's Party" picks and chooses which people to represent, is voting itself a significant pay rise despite lacklustre performances by some and downright incompetence from other MPs except Dr Brown and Renee Webb.

We are being lied to, misled and our rights infringed upon on a daily basis. The majority of voters on the island want neither party. We want an alternative. It's time for the independent candidates to come forward and make some headway given that we have now been assured that there will not be a general election called in the net few months. Thank goodness for small mercies. I honestly believed that any election in the imminent future would not bode well for those of us who need to see some serious change. In fact, the longer the PLP wait to call the next election, the better as Alex Scott can only do more harm given more time and the PLP will be forced to rethink their leader. And while I have little faith in most of Cabinet when it comes to leadership ability, I would be hard pressed to find anyone who would actually be worse than Scott ? with the exception of the PLP's very own public relations train wreck, Colonel Burch.

There seems to be an inside competition between Alex Scott and Colonel Burch () as who can tell the most outrageous untruths in public and keep a straight face. Has anyone figured out who is actually wining? All I know is that we Bermudians are losing and losing badly.

First our feckless leader has just rendered the beleaguered Bermuda Independence Commission report as a totally useless piece of fiction and a solid waste of taxpayer funds by backing away from the statement in his own party's submission which claims that in an Independent Bermuda, there would be sweeping changes to the Human Rights Act including protection for all Bermudians, including sexual orientation protection. So it appears that the BIC report contains even more fiction than originally thought and this poses the question why they are even using this report as a reference point for the Independence meetings. If the statements the PLP themselves submitted cannot be considered as the party's truthful intent, then the entire document must be considered unreliable and, may I suggest, that all copies of it be sent to the paper recyclers Guardian for appropriate disposal.

Now let's look at the garbage we were subjected to with the litany of objections to actually passing the Private Member's Bill. First Nelson Bascombe tried to throw in "separating the sins from the sinners" in his opening remarks which, quite frankly, set the tone of his argument right off base.

Sinners? It's my understanding that sins are actions that break the 10 Commandments and, from what I'm told, the House is rife with adulterers, some with outside children and others "coveting neighbours' spouses" and the like. Nelson Bascombe was the only MP to stand up in verbal opposition to the bill and I would commend him for at least doing that if it weren't for the fact I couldn't hear much of what he said because of the sound of all that glass breaking around him (people in glass houses, Mr. Bascome?).

As for Colonel Burch, he is living up to his role as Bermuda's most ridiculous politician. His blunders abound now to the extent that if and when he does have a valid axe to grind, no one is going to pay him much mind. His nonsensical attack on the selection of the Regiment's new Commanding Officer and his request for Governor Sir John Vereker to be recalled only go to invalidate his appointment years ago as Commanding Officer, given that the self-same selection process in is place today as was when he was selected. Given Burch's hugely public violation of the human rights of conscientious objectors, it seems like his own appointment may indeed have been a huge mistake. And it turns out that his gripe was simply because his friend and prot?g? was not selected for the position so he abused his position as a Minister (who naturally is afforded media attention) to air his personal grievance. Shame on you, Colonel Burch.

And I had to laugh at PLP spokes-harridan Laverne Furbert's letter to last Friday. I'm not sure which I found more amusing: her statement that she is a journalist or that she is not a bigot. All I know is that she doesn't have any white gay friends nor does she have any writings of hers published that could be considered "journalism." But then again, we are living on Fantasy Island and some of us are more self-deluded than others. God knows, I write regularly in this paper and I've never considered myself to be a journalist given the amount of personal opinion in my musings. I'm merely a commenter. But let's examine the other statement about not being a bigot. Ms Furbert single-handedly set about to defeat both Dale Butler and Renee Webb's moves to end discrimination based on sexual orientation. If anyone lobbied like she did to prevent blacks from attaining this same protection, they would rightfully be dubbed a bigot.

The shoe fits, Ms Furbert?. Wear it or change your behaviour?. The ongoing PLP pattern of saying one thing while behaving in the opposite manner has gone on too long and is, quite frankly, tiresome as hell.