Carla Confidential

Dear Carla: What is a reasonable time for a 16 year old to be home on weekends? Whether going to a party or not? I had a discussion with a 16 and they seem to think 1am is acceptable because the law says they have to be off road by then. But parent thinks 10-11pm. I cant remember what my curfew was. Please help. — WHEN’S THE RIGHT TIME?

Dear Right Time: None of my children are this old yet but I can draw off my experience as a teen. When I was 16 with a bike, the laws that are in effect now did not exist but I recall my curfew being 2am, which I thought was unreasonable at the time. I lived in Somerset and all the good parties were in town and that meant I would have to leave by 1.15 when everything was in full swing. So most times I chose not to go since I couldn’t leave at 3am like everyone else. I recently canvassed my Facebook audience and I was surprised that the majority of parents said midnight was reasonable for a 16-year-old. What I also found interesting is that some parents felt a male child should be able to stay out later than a female. In this day in time I would probably do the reverse and wouldn’t want my son out so late. I think though that it really depends on where the teen is going and how are they travelling. If they are on bikes, then they would definitely have to be compliant with the law but if they are travelling by car I may be more lenient.

Dear Carla: I just found out that my boyfriend was spending time with another woman while we were together. She says she slept with him while of course he denies it. I am not dealing with this so I think it’s best I walk away permanently. I love him and he says he loves me but he agrees we should end it. I feel no anger or animosity I just do not want to have any communication with him. He thinks I’m being childish. What do you think? — DEFLATED

Dear Deflated: I think you are making the right decision. He wants to keep communicating with you so that he can string you along in case in doesn’t work out with whoever female he is dealing with. Don’t frail the trap often masked under the title: “why can’t we be friends”. I’m not saying don’t ever speak to him again; I’m saying take the time to heal and you can’t do that while still having regular contact with the source of the pain. Hopefully he’ll respect that. If not cut him out of your life completely for now.

Dear Carla: I’ve cheated on my wife on more than one occasion and after begging and pleading she has always taken me back. I promise her that it won’t happen again but it does. However these women don’t mean anything to me. I only love my wife. The last time I cheated a few months ago she put me out. I miss her and my child and want to move back home. I have realised how much I hurt her and want to show her that I can do better but she refuses to entertain me. She has never kept me from our child though and I go over to the house almost every day to help out with homework, bath time, making lunch etc. But once our child is settled I have to leave. I HATE this arrangement. And to make matters worse sometimes my wife walks around in skimpy clothing and even asks me to wash her back while she’s bathing. But refuses to let me near her in any other way. This is frustrating me. I think she’s testing me. I don’t want any other woman but her so what do I do? — WANT MY FAMILY

Dear Want: Funny how cheaters always want their families when it seems like it’s too late. Why wasn’t you thinking about your wife and child while you was out there being reckless? But that’s neither here or there at this point. I commend you sticking by your parental responsibility because many times when men can’t have the woman they cut off the child. I applaud you. However while I understand that your wife is probably fed up I think she is wrong to tease you like she is. Trust me when I tell you she’s making a conscious decision to torment you (don’t tell her I told you! Lol). So the next time you go there take her a gift: a back scrubber. That way it removes you from temptation. On a serious note, have you guys considered going to a counsellor or a pastor so that you can explore the possibility of reconciliation. Although I’ve never been married I think it’s a beautiful thing and couples should fight hard to save them before throwing in the towel permanently.

If you have a question, e-mail Carla@royalgazette.com