Before her father stayed at Agape House, former headmistress LaVerne Lau admits: “I thought this was the death house.”

Her view took an about-face when her father, Fredrick Ming stayed there briefly to allow Ms Lau’s sister, his primary care giver, some vacation time. “He had some short time care here, a couple of weeks at a time as my sister’s home is in Florida,” said Ms Lau. “We were very happy with the care he received here at those times and he was happy.”

The experience was so positive for Mr. Ming and his immediate family that when his daughter was no longer able to care for him, the first choice of the family was to have him stay at Agape House. This was not possible at first and Mr. Ming spent two months bedridden in the Extended Care Unit of King Edward VII Memorial Hospital.

Mr. Ming grew a bit depressed at the Extended Care Unit. He frequently asked to be taken home and eventually lost his appetite. Ms Lau said her husband would make some of her father’s favourite dishes that she would bring to him. “But he wouldn’t eat,” she said.

As soon as a bed became available at Agape House, Mr. Ming was moved there and Ms Lau said his demeanour changed entirely. He rarely asked to be taken home and his appetite returned.

He enjoyed the Friday afternoon teas and a full-time dedicated chef would make him whatever he wanted if he didn’t care for the dish served.

“If he wanted something the chef would make it. All he had to do was mention it and like magic it would somehow appear — gingerbread, salad so many things,” said Mr. Ming’s grand-daughter Jodi Virgil.

“He ate well here. Even on his last day he had a full cod-fish breakfast and he said: ‘That was some good cod fish this morning’.”

“They have fast food night on Fridays and he liked that too,” said Ms Lau.

While the food may have seemed reason enough for the switch, Ms Lau said the family environment of Agape House was the main reason she was anxious to get her father a place there. “No mater what you do, a hospital is a hospital. It is sterile,” she said. “This is a home. They are much more flexible with visiting hours and fully open for everyone to visit. There are no limits on how many people can come.”

Ms Lau said staff became like extended family and were always welcoming and accommodating.

“Nothing was ever considered an inconvenience for them,” she said. “They were really amazing.”

“The staff were so responsive to our needs as well,” said Ms Virgil. “They were always available to help us. They would call us with an update on how he was doing without us even asking.

“And it was great that we could drop by at any time. We could come in after work and go to the kitchen and make some tea for ourselves. All that is allowed. You feel like you are at home.”

And Ms Virgil enjoyed that when her grandfather moved to Agape House, family were allowed to decorate his room and bring in personal items. Even his pet dog was brought in on a few occasions to visit.

“He did enjoy that,” said Ms Lau. A cancer patient, Mr. Ming had become immobile with the spread of the disease throughout his body. Ms Lau said staff never hesitated or complained to move him from one place to the next.

“They would lay the table for his meal every day although he was unable to feed himself,” said Ms Virgil. “They always gave him the opportunity to try for himself, and sometimes he would say ‘I’m going to feed myself today’. And they would let him, then help he when he asked. They never discouraged him. That was letting him have his dignity,” she said.

Mr. Ming’s stay at Agape House was longer than most. He arrived in September 2005 and passed away this July. His family think the comfort and friends he had at there contributed to his long stay.

“He always looked so well when he was here,” said Ms Virgil.“Family members who had reservations about us admitting him changed their opinions when they visited with him.”