IT'S that time of year again. In keeping with the holiday season, this week I'll be handing out Christmas presents to Bermudian public figures who have been both naughty and nice in 2004.

As official protocol dictates, I begin at the very top of Bermuda's officialdom and start with Bermuda's Governor . Now I don't recall the Governor doing anything controversial this year except when he temporarily put the noses of us Bermudian nationalists and pro-Independence advocates out of joint by vetoing Government's choice as Bermuda's next Chief Justice and brought in his own selection.

All is not quite forgiven, however. So, in keeping with the spirit of the season, for his Excellency I have the book by George M. Houser. Should prove to be a powerful read for Sir John, showing just how we Bermudian nationalists feel about the concept of national self-determination.

When it comes to the Governor's wife, the pleasant and refreshingly down-to-earth ("Please just call me Judy"), you will find I am something of a soft touch. So that she will always remember Bermuda even after she has long departed our shores, I will give her Chef Fred Ming's cook bookand while I am about it, let me take the opportunity to wish Chef Ming the speediest of recoveries from his recent accident and the merriest of Christmases).

Next on my list is the Premier of our country , ("The Man"). Now I do confess to having experienced some difficulty in deciding what to give him ? mostly because Bermuda's Premiers in recent times appear to already have so much.

Then it hit me. Earlier this year the Premier made a statement to the effect that he wouldn't mind being promoted to Prime Minister in a future, post-Independence Bermuda. But his Government, despite putting in place the Independence Commission, still seems to me to be putting out mixed signals as regards Bermudian sovereignty ? especially when this same Government told the UN Decolonisation Committee that they need not come to Bermuda at this time.

Clearly the Premier (The Man) needs to mend some fences at the United Nations. So for him a week's tour of the UN so that he can hobnob with the diplomats of micro-states that have already blazed the trail of self-determination. But the highlight of any such trip would have to be a special meeting with United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan.

However, for security reasons the meeting would have to take place in New York's Central Park or some other public area because the British cannot be trusted, already having been caught red-handed bugging Mr. Annan's office.

As an added security measure, a troupe of Bermuda Gombeys would accompany the Premier to the meeting with the UN Secretary-General. Once they start up, they would be bound to frustrate any attempts by the British at high-tech eavesdropping on the parley.

Now for a number of ladies. First on the list is my type of politician, , who is supposed to have ran afoul of The Man, causing her to resign her Cabinet position. I don't believe that version of events for a minute.

I think it was probably frustration with his policies and a less than charitable view of his leadership abilities that led Ms Webb to resign. For her the book by Elaine Brown. Ms Brown became the first and only woman leader of what was at one time America's most feared Black Militant group, the Black Panther Party.

For the Government's Health Minister , don't worry about the Opposition politicians and the media who tried to imply you gave preferential treatment to your father in finding housing. Besides, some of us here in the voting public understand that special bond between daughters and their fathers. For you, an unlimited spending spree in Bermuda's baby boutiques where you can pick up some things for your soon-to-be-born baby.

Recently elected St. David's MP Suzann Roberts-Holshouser took up the cause of Southside business tenants who, it is claimed, were lured to the area now earmarked for a new housing developing.

first glance, it seems like a worthy cause. But now suspicions are on the rise about new manifestations of St. David's chauvinism, the real aim of which is to keep all non-St. David's Islanders out of the area (Mrs. Roberts-Holshouser is probably also concerned about political ramifications of a change in the population demographic, with all those new people moving into the area and beholden to the Government for giving them a chance to own their own homes).

For Mrs. Robert-Holshouser a trip to Israel where she can view that security wall built by the Jewish State to separate themselves from the Palestinians and, while there, she can contemplate on what might have been in St. David's.

For quite some time now the United Bermuda Party Opposition has been championing the cause of senior citizens, with UBP Member of Parliament and unofficial Shadow Minister for the elderly leading the charge.

In fact, the concerns of seniors ? both here and abroad ? are now being taken very seriously by politicians given the voting clout of this demographic group. In the United States today the most influential lobbing group in Washington, DC is, in fact, the seniors' organisation the AARP.

It lobbies successfully on both sides of the political divide and ensures seniors' concerns are addressed . Since Mrs. Jackson is now the leader of a Bermudian senior citizens movement, for her a one-week trip to the AARP offices in Washington, DC where she can learn first hand how it does things.

Now something has just dawned on me. I am well into the process of handing out Christmas gifts to Bermuda's movers and shakers but protocol would dictate that I should have listed Opposition Leader in his proper place, directly behind the Premier/The Man.

My apologies. I see Dr. Gibbons is still trying to understand the race thing and I would be nothing if not neglectful if I didn't try to help him get to grips with this subject. So for Dr. Grant Gibbons, the book , by Cornel West.

Now he is a little tougher on the question of race in multicultural societies than that recent speaker from New Jersey your party brought in, but his frankness notwithstanding, West is lucid, penetrating and very informative.

Minister for Race Relations & Economic Opportunity recenltycalled for Bermuda to erect a slave memorial. Mr. Dodwell got jumped all over by Bermuda Industrial Union Leader Derrick Burgess for his efforts.

I am not going to be that hard on him. I have long thought that Bermuda should build a memorial to the Unknown Slave and nobody except for Mr. Dodwell has ever voiced a similar sentiment publicly. To help him get a better understanding of the issue, however, for him the book by Randall Robinson. There are a lot of similarities between America and Bermuda in terms of making up for the injustices of the past.

In a similar vein, when it comes to the (BCC) and the recent tussle over a new lease, the current shareholders get the bookby Claud Anderson, after a read of that you will understand clearly why some of us feel we have a case in terms of the spreading of the wealth.

Now I don't often hand out lumps of coal to public figures because at this time of year it's important to remember ? and act on ? the spirit of the season. But I am afraid recent events in the Senate have warranted it.

For voting down the mandatory overtime bill, a lump of coal will go into the Christmas stockings of each Senate member of the UBP and their political allies, the so-called Independent Senators. Their votes were not good, not good at all, for Bermuda's workers.

Now let me wind things up by taking the opportunity to wish all of my readers the happiest ? and safest ? of holiday seasons. Consider the photograph accompanying this as an open Christmas card to all of you from the entire Williams clan.

It's been an interesting couple of years for me on the family front. I've gone from being just a dad, to a father-in-law to a grandfather ? I've become the benign patriarch of an entire extended family. And that is the greatest gift I can possibly imagine for myself.