official gazette a wee bit seriously. And a shocked Kim Young -- Shadow Health and Social Services Minister -- felt compelled to complain when she visited the offices of the Island's far smaller organ last week. For a poster at reception declared that PLP Victory T-shirts -- 1998 vintage -- were (still) on sale. "Buy ten get one free!'' Hester's source relates that Ms Young's complaint led to the offending poster coming down quick-style. Gives a whole new slant on the independence debate, now doesn't it? Oh Dear! Embattled but ever-hopful Tourism Minister David Allen has more bad news to digest. As if we needed any more proof that something's gone terribly wrong in Tourism, prestigious Travel & Leisure magazine's came out this month with its annual readers' poll on the world's best value (but not necessarily inexpensive) when it comes to hotels and resorts. Alas Bermuda not only failed to make the overall list but also the "the top ten hotels for value in the Caribbean, Bahamas and Bermuda '' list. Numero Uno was the Ritz Carlton on gaudy St. Thomas at $450 a night. Even tiny Nevis beat out Bermuda with its $650-a-night Four Seasons Resort coming in third preceded by Virgin Gorda's Little Dix Bay at $550 a pop. Aruba, Jamaica and Puerto Rico resorts also made the top ten.

In Bermuda pink is associated with beaches, houses and shorts -- a wholesome colour if there ever was one. So when Bermuda's latest e-commerce venture -- a directory for web sites and e-mail addresses -- thought of the name "The pink pages'', they believed they were on to a sure winner. You know, a hint of the yellow pages, but with the pink flavour of the Island. However, not a moment too soon, the organisers found that, well, not everywhere is like Bermuda. In fact pink appears to have very different connotations in other lands. For instance, the e-execs discovered that in Britain, the next country where the company wants to launch its e-directory, `the Pink pages' is a gay newspaper.

And plug pink.com into your computer search engine and up pops a host of rather unpleasant gay porn sites -- enough to turn your cheeks pink, Hester dare say. She hears horrified organisers quickly changed the name to the less-catchy but certainly more globally innocent talkingmice.com .

When it comes to companies in need of a 21st Century jolt -- and a lesson in PR savvy -- Bermuda CableVision comes a close second to BTC . Guess what the cable company -- that's taken it upon itself to give us a crash course in Spanish -- has done now!? One disgruntled customer told Hester recently how, fed up with still paying premium price for less and poorer quality stations than he originally signed up for, he asked the Cable Guy to simply downgrade him to a basic level. However, he was shocked to receive out-of-the-blue in the mail several weeks later a bill for some $30. This according to the accompanying statement, was the cost of his downgrade! Hester's hack friends would never expect thanks for their work but one of The Royal Gazette 's number was particularly put out by the attitude of one St.

George's Preparatory parent on Tuesday.

She had gathered with others to hear the Government's U-turn on plans to axe one of the entry classes. But it wasn't only the Government doing a U-turn at the kiss and make up session between the Premier and her constituents.

Parent Carla Jenkins took the opportunity to backtrack on the controversial `Premier branded liar story' -- when Ms Smith had claimed not to know anything about the issue as she had been off the island when the story broke.

But at Tuesday's meeting Mrs. Jenkins told her Premier Jennifer Smith and the audience: "I didn't call you a liar -- I did not say that.'' Oh but you did Mrs. Jenkins and The Royal Gazette has the tape to prove it.

She is quite clearly heard to say: "As a Premier she needs to stop lying -- she just told lies up there, that she did not know anything about this and she knew.'' When this was explained to her on Tuesday night Mrs. Jenkins said that although the reported quotes were accurate she had never branded the Premier a liar -- she had merely said the Premier was telling lies. But sadly for the audience -- who had clapped wildly as the Premier predictably said that you could never trust anything you read in the newspapers -- the damage was already done.

Hester doesn't know where Mrs. Jenkins was educated but it seems that semantics were high up on the curriculum.