Why teens get pregnant

Dear Sir,

Today I am going to use some amateur psychology, but also speak from experience and respond to the letter written by Vox Orientalis titled 'Babies aren't baby dolls.' I agree with the gist of what Vox has to say, but in trying to sound witty, Vox comes across as callous to me. It's not about 'spreading your legs for some bloke because he has a nice line of BS,' or even about sex for that matter. Yes, girls get sex education and know about birth control ? it's just that some girls take that information and use it, and others don't ? why does Vox think that is? I'll give my take on the matter.

I became pregnant and gave birth at only 16 years old. Prior to becoming pregnant, I was miserable at school and hated my home life. I was raised by an extremely strict mother and a very disinterested father. Looking towards my future, I didn't see much. I knew that I wasn't going to college because my parents couldn't afford it, and although I was very smart my grades didn't reflect it because I didn't put in the effort.

Looking back, I can see now that I was in a state of clinical depression. For me it was a subconscious choice ? kill myself or have a baby. No, I didn't deliberately try to get pregnant ? just 'forgot' to take a pill here and there. When, I did get pregnant, I was secretly elated.

Now, no matter how bad my life was and how unloved I felt, now I would have a little person who would love me unconditionally and who I could shower all of my love and attention on. He/she would fill the void in my life, and I could make his/her life everything that I wished mine could be.

To me, that's the reason girls get pregnant at a very young age up to now. There's something missing in their lives that they desperately are looking to fill. They are first looking for love ? not sex ? in the arms of some guy with the belief that he loves her back.

Then, by having a baby they are looking for love from that child, and hope to make that child's life whatever they wish their life could be. At 14, 15, 16 years old you have not fully developed the cognitive ability to realise what a struggle life with a baby will be. You don't think how will I feed and clothe this child or give him/her what they need physically/emotionally to grow up healthy and happy.

You don't look down the road, you just do what you need to be happy now. Yes, it is selfish but aren't teenagers inherently selfish anyway? You just lack the maturity, reasoning and rationale at that age to make proper decisions.

I was one of the lucky ones, because I eventually married the father of my child, and yes we are still married. But, whenever I see young, pregnant girls out there, I do not feel disgust for them only pity. I feel sorry for them because I know that life will be a struggle for them.

I also wonder what types of lives they've had that would lead them (subconsciously or consciously) to make this decision. Something has to be missing from their lives whether it be love, attention or just a lack of goals. Girls with goals and outlets don't get pregnant they don't want anything to mess up their plans.

Girls who don't have any options don't give a hoot there's nothing to live for, so why not? So, to Vox and others: I encourage you to sympathise with ? not criticise these girls.

Some young women turn out to be more loving, attentive parents than older ones, but essentially becoming a parent at such a young age is usually not the best decision for them or the child in the long run.

My point is, that it isn't about sex, or sex education, and until we as a society realise that, we will keep seeing this phenomena. I ask when a young lady gets pregnant at a young age where are their parents?

Instead of focusing on parenting classes for her, my idea is that society should demand some parenting classes for HER PARENTS as well, as well as some form of therapy for the whole family. To Mom and Dad ? don't bash her and say 'we did our best where did we go wrong' because in my opinion, if your daughter becomes pregnant while still in high school, no ? you did not do your best, and yes ? you did do something wrong.

You're too expensive

January 24, 2004

Dear Sir,

I have just read the article in today's entitled, "Bermuda tourism does not have the luxury of time". It contains comments from Shadow Tourism Minister Sen. Kim Swan.

Sen. Swan claims that tourism has declined under the PLP Governments.

I would just like to say that Sen. Swan should look at the Tourism track record of his party while it was the Government. Tourism began its decline under the UBP and its Bermuda Inc. concept, which drove up the cost of living in Bermuda. I have addressed this on numerous other occasions and will not do it again.

Instead of continuously criticising, maybe the UBP should prove it has changed and has the interest of the Country and its total population at heart by offering suggestions.

The reality is that after Bermuda Inc., no UBP Minister of Tourism was able to stop the slide in visitor numbers. Please correct me if I am wrong.

It is about price and activities. I doubt if there is a jurisdiction that is more expensive than Bermuda and clearly there are no activities for the tourist to participate in. Nowadays there has to be more than just sea, sun and sand to attract tourists.

Sure, there are golf courses in Bermuda but why would I come to Bermuda and pay upwards of $350 a night for a hotel and $150 for each round of golf when I can go to South Carolina and Florida and have my pick of any number of courses, that are in immaculate condition, and accommodation for less than $1,000 for a week?

I am a member of a golf group here in the Bahamas, there are roughly 20 of us, and each year we have an away trip.

Last year we went to Orange County National Golf Resort, which was used for the PGA Tour Qualifying School, in Orlando, Florida, for seven days. Accommodation and all the golf we wanted to play cost us $650 plus airfare of $220, for a total cost of $870, which is close to being the airfare only to Bermuda. This year we are planning to go to Myrtle Beach and the total cost, including airfare is $870.

Dr. Ewart Brown is to be commended for the efforts he is making for new air routes, such as direct flights to and from Fort. Lauderdale and Miami, but the reality is that these routes will do more to give Bermudians easier access to the Caribbean and South America rather than entice tourists.

One resort, Atlantis on Paradise Island, here in the Bahamas has more beds than the entire Bermuda market and employs some 6,000 Bahamians.

The company has already spent some $1.5 billion in developing the resort (including a timeshare village) which operates at approximately 92 percent occupancy year round.

There are package deals for three night stays including airfare out of US cities for less than $400. Within this hotel there is the largest casino in the region, an extensive water park and live Bahamian entertainment. There is enough entertainment for both kids and adults to keep them busy during their entire stay.

This is just one resort. The Bahamas welcomes over four million tourists each year. How can Bermuda possibly compete?

As for airlift, you can get a flight into and out of the Bahamas virtually every hour on the hour from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. or 11 p.m. on various airlines.

Sen. Swan can say that the US dollar is 40 percent lower against the euro than it was in 2002 all he wants, but the fact remains that Bermuda is too expensive and the options are too many for Bermuda to be successful as a tourist destination. Tourism will never again be a mainstay of the Bermuda economy; is it any wonder why most employees in the tourism industry today are non-Bermudian? It is a dead-end career.

I have heard it said that the PLP Government has fallen down in attracting new hotel owners. Why would I be interested in operating a hotel in Bermuda knowing that I would be unable to occupy all my beds?

I look forward to the "New UBP" putting forward it ideas to re-establish Bermuda as a viable tourist destination.