You do not have to be friend's therapist
Dear Annie: I have a neighbour who is creating havoc in my life. I’m convinced “Ellen” is mentally ill and becoming worse. Her “friendship” has become a drain.When we first moved here, our children became pals and I found Ellen to be fun. As the years pass, however, I find the friendship is very one-sided.
Ellen has a miserable marriage, does not get along with her family, and has isolated many friends due to her bizarre behaviour. She never listens to anything I say — it’s all about her. She is consumed with money and constantly discusses how important it is to her.
Ellen comes to my house, stays longer than she is welcome, and the entire time, she gulps my wine. Since I believe she has a drug-and-alcohol problem, I feel as if I’m enabling her by letting her drink at my house.
The other day, Ellen blatantly lied to me and upset my family in the process. I told her she had violated my trust, but I don’t believe she understands the depth of my anger and how much she has damaged our relationship.
Short of moving across town or telling Ellen that I no longer wish to see her, what are my options? I don’t want this to affect our children’s friendship. — Sick of Being UsedDear Sick:<$> This is<$> going to affect the children’s friendship, so you’d best be prepared. There are polite ways to distance yourself — being “too busy” to socialise, telling her you are on your way out when she drops by unexpectedly — but it could still cause damage. You do not have to be Ellen’s therapist, but if you think she has mental health issues, you might encourage her to talk to a professional. (Say it might help with her marriage.) It could be beneficial for everyone.
Dear Annie: Over the years, I can think of quite a few times I have flown somewhere on vacation and gotten sick a day or so after arrival. I assumed I’d just gotten run down.My last trip, I was on the plane for about an hour and suddenly, I became congested. I was miserable with a cold for three days afterwards. On the return flight, it happened again.
I recently read an article explaining that people get sick on planes because the air is recirculated. I am planning my next vacation and am truly anxious about booking a flight. What should I do? — Please Don’t Ruin My Vacation AgainDear Vacation:<$> Most airplanes now come equipped with HEPA air filters, which do a decent job of keeping out major viruses. However, being confined in proximity with people who have colds and coughs can certainly make you susceptible. Be sure the air vents above your head are open, and if no air is coming through, ask your stewardess about fresh air. Drink lots of water and wash hands frequently. Enjoy your vacation.
Dear Annie: This is in response to “Anxious,” whose 16-year-old daughter is under five feet and doesn’t look her age. I am five feet nothing and small boned. It was not easy as a teenager. I was not taken seriously and hated it with a passion. However, she will reap the rewards later. I am now 48 and look 30. It is wonderful, and I am having the last laugh.I exercise and eat right, and I’ve noticed younger men giving me the eye. So tell her to hang in there. It will be frustrating, but her time will come. — Been ThereDear Been There:<$> A lot of women would be happy to drop a few inches in height to look 20 years younger. Thanks for the words of encouragement.
