Dear Annie: Last summer, our small business of 26 years suffered a devastating flood. My wife, who had just completed chemotherapy, waded through waist-deep water in an effort to save our most valuable records and computers. We lost 13 trucks, and our offices were out of commission for six months.

Throughout this disaster, neither my brother nor sister offered to help. Not one day, not one hour. My sister, who has summers off, never lifted a finger to assist with office work, although she did write to our local newspaper, mentioning our courage in rebuilding our business and saying how proud she was. My brother used several excuses, one of which was that I didn’t help him build his house. Neither did he. A professional contractor did it.

In my desperation, I fired off a series of angry phone calls to my elderly mother. I stated how dysfunctional our family was, hoping she’d help put things right. I am sorry that I left those messages on my mother’s answering machine. She played them for my brother and only made things worse.

Perhaps I should not have lashed out, but several weeks had passed after the flood, and we were physically and emotionally exhausted. No one from my side of the family gave us any assistance whatsoever. Now we are ostracised from them. How did we become the bad guys? Do they just not care? — Binghamton, N.Y.

Dear Bingham:<$> Often, when people don’t behave the way they ought to, they become defensive. We think your family members feel guilty they did not rise to the occasion, and blaming you allows them to feel better. You have to decide if you want to let them off the hook. If so, call your mother and siblings and say you are sorry there’s been a rift, you were so distraught by your personal situation that you weren’t yourself, and you miss your family. Then you have to let it go, whether they deserve your forgiveness or not.

Dear Annie: Why do doctors make appointments and then have you sit and wait? Is this the fault of the doctor or the scheduling? Every medical office should take a class on time management. Patients should be notified if a situation has caused a serious delay and should be offered the choice of staying or rescheduling.

One of my appointments was made a month in advance, and when I arrived, the waiting room was packed with patients and others had to wait outside. The doctor wasn’t even going to be there for another 30 minutes. Any help? — Lady in Wang

Dear Lady:<$> Doctors with hospital emergencies are often delayed, and that needs to be tolerated. But you are right that sometimes appointments are simply overscheduled. When you find yourself waiting repeatedly and for long periods of time, you should let the doctor know. You also can call the doctor’s office before leaving your home and find out if things are running on time. And, like any other dissatisfied customer, you can take your business elsewhere.

Dear Annie: My sympathies to the woman married to a man addicted to Internet porn. I am in a similar situation. My husband even uses Viagra for this.

Counselling for her is a good idea, so she doesn’t have to feel inadequate as a woman. To the men out there who are blaming the women in their lives, after seeing what you are doing and looking at, who would want to sleep with you? Get help before your marriage is over. My solution? I am the tech person at our house, and I’ve got our computer locked down pretty tight. Good luck to him trying to figure out how to unlock it. — Married to a Closeerv

Dear Married: Well, at least you’ve found your own way of dealing with this, but any married man who takes Viagra so he can watch porn has a serious problem.