Monday morning blues were an everyday affliction for Gladys Famoriyo when she was a high-flying IT consultant before she decided to make a change for the better.

She looked at her skills, what was fun to her and decided on finding a way to make it into a viable career.Miss Famoriyo says that she had always been a coach, as people always called on her for advice, but not wanting to become a counsellor, as such, she searched for another avenue, that would allow her to do what she loved, while also earning a living at the same time.After hearing about coaching, she began a four-year course to become a life coach.

She is now the author of "Overcoming Emotional Baggage: A Woman's Guide to Living the Abundant Life". She has become an award-winning author, speaker and coach and is also the director of Success Partners Ltd. (www.gladysf.com) which is a training and development organisation.Last year she was the winner of the European Federation of Black Women Business Owners 2006 (Professional Category). So when asked, what she saw in women that hindered them or made them sabotage their ownsuccess, she said: "It is a combination of a number of things. "As a life coach and as a writer, I have had the privileged of working with a number of women. I have also worked with business service leaders, managers, students, at home mums and one of the things that I have noticed is that there are a number of trends why people are not able to fulfil their potential. Goals are not being realised. They are unfulfilled.

"And when we took the time to sit down, discuss and began peeling off the layers, one of the most prominent things that I noticed was that they were carrying around a whole pile of emotional baggage."

Unresolved issues are some of the things that she refers to as emotional baggage."Whether it be things from the past, like, 'my boyfriend left me in the past and I ain't dealt with it yet'," she explained.

"Childhood issues, which are serious things like abuse, rejection, abandonment and all those things that you have to go through. And it is not only that, there are present day things like work-related issues and all sorts of different things that life has a tendency to throw in our way."But when we don't deal with these things, it is like carrying around little rucksacks and they end up tripping us up it is like trying to run the London marathon with a rucksack with boulders in it. You can only go so far, before becoming paralysed."My message is to support people and maximise their potential, so that they can live a real purposeful and successful life. I have realised that you have to do the foundation work, otherwise it is like pouring water into a sieve and it is unyielding because you haven't dealt with the cracks.

"Many women do not follow their dreams because of either an innate fear or something external, says Miss Famoriyo.

"It is all self-sabotaging, especially when you start to accumulate self-defeating behaviours fuelled by thoughts and a mindset that, 'I'm not good enough' or other fears and the issues that we accumulate," she explained."If we don't deal with that, then five years later, we are like a little hamster still on a treadmill and you are not going anywhere."I guess this is one of the things that motivates me to work with women, just to help them shift their mind a little bit. It is not major or huge leaps, but to help them realise that this is your behaviour is fuelled by X,Y, Z... and, if you continue this way, this is the end result."One day, God forbid, you will either go to that grave or be sitting in that rocking chair in your 80s or 90s and think, 'I wish I did X,Y, Z'.""So it is to offer people, not just women, that support to get from where they are currently at and really just push them forward."In all fairness, many children have it drummed into their heads that they are worthless or not good enough."So, it is no surprise that people grow up the way they are today, because that is the environment that they have been raised in and they have been conditioned to think that, 'I am not worthy of going for that promotion'," she said."There are people out there with CVs to die for, but yet they are going to temporary junior office roles."One client that I had a couple of years ago, spoke about five different languages, she had so many qualifications, but yet she was an office junior.

"They all talk about big goals and big dreams, but they won't move from where they are currently at. It took her a while to understand, number one who she was, and some of the gifts that she actually possessed.

"It was about raising her confidence and raising her esteem, rather than belittling and devaluing herself in these little roles. "So she went for her first proper job and then she went straight to management and the last I talked her she was an executive flying all over the world, doing all sorts of wonderful things. But in her own little world, she thought that she wasn't good enough to pit her CV out there and this is what you are finding with all sorts of people and not just professional people.

"For instance, maybe they wrote a book and they are selling it for £1.99, because they don't think that what they are offering is of value."For writers whose aim it is to be published, Miss Famoriyo explained: "There are so many ways to skin a cat. For instance if no one wants to publish your book, get some money together and print it out yourself.

"For instance the guy who wrote 'Rich Dad, Poor Dad' was self-published before someone (a publisher) took it on board. "Find another way around!"Some people suffer in silence and think that they are the only one facing their dilemma.

"But there is a whole world of people who can help you," she stated. "When it comes to people of our background and colour, the idea of investing in yourself through having a coach, reading a book, or going to seminars, is not necessarily a high priority. So when you talk about getting the support that they need to do what they want to do, they are reluctant and then they wonder why, they are not progressing.

"On the road to success, sometimes you will get knocked down, but Miss Famoriyo says, it is all about whether you get up. "Sometimes even as a visionary or self-actualising, you get knocked all the time," she said.

"It's okay, I will have a bit of a cry and even some Häagen Daaz ice cream, but what tends to happen is that you find that something within yourself and you say, 'God created me for a purpose and I cannot leave this earth without using this gift that he deposited within me'.

"My grounding is to get up out of the pit of life and to go back again. I wrote this book from a Christian perspective, because I realise that in the society where we live, there isn't much out there about developing yourself internally and when I say internally, I mean spiritually. Because they're facets of your being."I need to nurture all the facets of my life."

In many cases, she says it becomes all about image, appearance and external things."It is about looking right, dressing right, talking right, being a size zero as skinny as a pole we focus so much on the external that we lose sight of the internal that grounds us.

"If you look at an iceberg, there is a bit that we see, but what holds us is our attitudes, our mindsets, our beliefs, and those are the things that drive us.

"It's about what holds you up, and a lot of people have nothing to keep from sinking. It is about starting to look inwardly for something that will ground them.

"For instance, I lost my father at the age of 65 and I went through the process of grieving, but there is a scripture in the Bible, which says, 'Weeping lasts for the night, but joy will come in the morning'.

"So when they sun rises, lets start this journey again, as opposed to having a pity party and what not."Asked about whether some religious people looked more to the afterlife, rather than living and being successful in their lives now, she said: "There are different views and a lot of Christians when you talk about money, or prosperity, or anything that looks successful, they feel that as Christians they should be poor."There are the other range, where it is all about the money and there is no balance there."But what I do realise is that we are on a journey now and I do believe in the afterlife."But I will reiterate that we are here and we have a purpose, so it is not about being so future or heavenly focused. Because I live next to somebody or travel with someone who needs what is inside me, so if I am thinking that I am just going to wait until the rapture comes, then what use have I been?"I believe that there is something on the inside of each one of us that could benefit the next person around us and if we fail to use that and think that it is all about the afterlife, then we haven't been effective on this earth." Success is not all about money, she says."For instance raising Godly children, or children who go to university, that is success," she said.

"If you live a life where you are content, you are not anxious or under stress, no illnesses of any kind that too is success.

"It is about changing people's mindsets, yes some people are blessed financially, but whether fortunate or unfortunate we live in a world where money pays for a lot of things and helps a lot of things."It would be great if any one of us could say, 'Let's go and bail out Rwanda <> clear their debt with the World Bank.'"And there are a lot of people doing stuff like that. We ourselves need to be in a position where we are effective, because if you are not or are emotionally handicapped then you can't do those things."With that in mind, she added: "The general ethos of the book is to help people accept and start to deal with some of the things that they have hidden under the carpet, whether it is consciously or not and start to move forward."

"Overcoming Emotional Baggage: A Woman's Guide to Living the Abundant Life" is available at Bookmart or www.amazon.com and for more information visit www.gladysf.com and sign up for eWoman, the free eNewsletter.