Counsellors have spoken out against alarming numbers of older men targeting vulnerable young teens for sex.

Women?s Resource Centre (WRC) consultant Elizabeth Garrity said recent research in schools showed the problem worryingly widespread.

She said: ?In one class of 13- to 14-year-old girls about half put up their hands to state they had a boyfriend over 20 years of age.?

If the problem wasn?t stamped out early the girls ran the risk of suffering decades of abuse, said Ms Garrity.

She added the survey showed teen girls didn?t see anything wrong in hooking up with an older man ? even if their claims were nothing more than bravado.

?They, and others who think like them, are failing to see the potential danger in the power imbalance of such a relationship.?

By the time the danger is recognised it may be too late to easily do something about it, she said.

?At the Women?s Resource Centre we see mature women in their 30s, 40s or older who have been under the violent control of the same man since they were around 14 years of age.

?If or when they decide it is time to do something to reclaim their own lives and escape from the threats and violence it is very difficult to take action for many reasons, including the need to find housing and, or, provide for children.?

The WRC is carrying out preventative work in middle and senior schools focusing on educating about dating and behaviour which might lead to violent relationships.

It followed concern expressed by teachers, parents and grandparents about the problem of older men dating young girls which had now been backed up by the freely-shared stories which the young girls have told the WRC.

Ms Garrity said: ?If awareness of the potential dangers can be raised at a young age we might be able to reduce the number of victims, both male and female who are caught in intimate partner violence.

?Young people need to be aware that not everyone who gives them special attention by phoning to speak to them constantly, giving expensive presents, flattering them or telling them they are special wishes a healthy, real relationship with them.?

There was nothing intrinsically wrong with those actions, said Ms Garrity but if it is part of a pattern of behaviour of an older, more powerful person towards an under-age child then it may well be grooming behaviour intended to break down caution and resistance, isolate the child from friends and family and create conditions in which the child can be easily abused, emotionally, sexually or physically.

?Individuals who habitually operate in this way enjoy the power involved in buying and controlling another person who can be made to do almost anything. ?Some of this may manifest itself in the school setting as bullying or sexual harassment.?

If it is happening outside school then often the staff notice a change in a student?s performance or attendance record, she noted.

Her fears were echoed by WRC executive director Penny Dill who said men preying on teen girls was one of the WRC?s biggest issues.

?Girls targeted by older men are very vulnerable because they don?t have any father figure in the home, no one is paying them the attention they need so when a male pays attention they become involved. The man has a job and can buy them things, they think this is wonderful, and then the sex starts and it is extremely hard for a 14-year-old to understand what has gone on until it has gone too far. They don?t know where to go.

?The dynamics are very different in Bermuda. Everybody is always someone?s cousin here so people tend to be very trusting because people say that?s so and so.?

Thankfully there is help at hand with the WRC?s community education programme said Ms Garrity.

She said: ?We show videos of scenarios to school students, church groups or other youth groups and discuss the implications of what they have seen and what they would do to help a friend or themselves.

?We underline the importance of healthy relationships and say they should tell a parent, teacher or other trusted adult if they are worried or afraid.

?At the Centre we can provide counselling for girls aged 16 with their parents? permission.?