It all started on December 23rd. Santa was dashing about making last minute preparations for a surprise vacation. He had won a travel voucher at the Royal Order of Penguin Winter Carnival for a weekend vacation at the Princess Hotel in Bermuda. He and the elves had worked very hard to be ready for Christmas early. He could not be more excited at the prospect of taking Mrs. Claus for a restful holiday far from the North Pole. Santa grinned broadly as he quietly pulled the colourful brochures from his big red pockets and spread them across the breakfast table for his wife to see. Mrs. Claus rested a large plate of pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausages, baked beans and Spam right on top without even noticing! "Oh no,'' groaned Santa. Mrs. Claus spun around looking very cross. "What did you say?'' she demanded. "I...I said...oh wow!'', he covered. "This sure looks delicious, dear.'' Mrs. Claus's face softened a little as she dried her hands on her apron. How was he going to break the news to her? Mrs. Claus had never left her home in the North Pole before. She was terrified of flying. Santa knew this wonderful news had to be handled carefully so his wife wouldn't panic. Quickly, he snatched the paper napkin from her place setting and wrote: To My Dear Wife: roses are red, Violets are blue. I need a vacation and so do you. He slid it back before she turned and sat down. It was not the best poem he had ever written to her but it would do.

Mrs. Claus's bright eyes twinkled at him as she shook salt and pepper over her eggs. Then her nose twitched. "A Choo!'' She caught her sneeze with her napkin. "Bless you,'' Santa sighed. "Thank you,'' replied Mrs. Claus as she mopped up her face with his poem. "Well, I guess there is no way to let you know except to just tell you,'' he blurted out. "I've got a fantastic, excellent, magnificent surprise and you can't say no!'' "Oh, you sweetie, you remembered our anniversary,'' beamed Mrs. Claus. Santa almost choked. "What? Oh yeah!'' he gasped "And that, too.'' He watched her eyes widen as he described his plans for their dream vacation at the Princess Hotel in Bermuda.

When he finally finished telling his exciting news, she stuck her fork in her food, cut off a huge piece and filled her cheeks. "That's nice,'' she said at last. "Just needs a little less salt.'' "What about the trip?'' Santa was getting frustrated. "It sounds wonderful. I hope you have a great time,'' she replied. "You know that I don't fly, dear.'' Santa knew there was no chance of changing her mind so he packed up his sleigh and headed south alone. He felt very sad as he looked down on the big grey cities. But then he saw a little squiggle in the moonlight out in the middle of the ocean. Was it Bermuda? It had to be! He could hear the chirping of tree frogs and it smelt clean and fragrant like flowers. He guided his sleigh towards the biggest white roof he could see and landed with a clatter on the hard slates. Santa looked around to make sure no-one had been disturbed. He leaned over the edge of the roof and saw a gold crown on a pink wall, many palm trees, flowers and a huge sparkling swimming pool next to the harbour. It was the Princess Hotel, all right, just like in the pictures. He suddenly felt very dizzy and flushed.

Then he realised that he was roasting in his big woolly snow suit. So he pulled his winter clothes off right down to his red and white striped boxers and red under shirt. "Ah, that feels better,'' sighed Santa as he felt the warm evening breeze rustle through his long, white whiskers. "Now I must check in,'' he said as he hopped down the huge chimney. He landed with skill, stepped out and smiled at the bell captain who was standing nearby in the lobby. "Excuse me, Sir!'' called the Bell Captain. "You can't go in there like that.'' Santa suddenly remembered what he was wearing and felt quite embarrassed. Then the Bell Captain pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and cleaned the soot smudges from Santa's round face. "Thank you.'' "That's quite alright, Sir.'' Santa was surprised and relieved to see that all the tourists were wearing funny shorts like his. He later found out that long stockings and shorts were quite the style in Bermuda. He was glad to check into his luxury suite overlooking the harbour. He slept soundly and snored loudly all night. The next day was sunny and beautiful. Santa walked outside onto the Front Street. There were little sail boats on the harbour and pretty shops with lots of interesting things for sale. Every one said "Good Morning'' to him and he immediately felt at home. Santa decided to do what every one else was doing so he walked back to Smatts Cycle livery and hired a moped. "This is fantastic!'' he thought, "I'm going to the beaches!'' He puttered along Front Street to Crow Lane where he smelt baking smells. "Oh, I'm so hungry,'' he thought, "I had better stop for a little snack.'' So he stopped in at the bakery and had ten slices of banana bread, two cheese danishes, a cinnamon roll and seven ginger beers. The moped creaked when he sat his great weight on it and headed towards the Trimingham Hill roundabout.

Poor Santa! He only made it part way up the hill when his bike sputtered to a stop. Three cyclists, a water truck, two taxis, and an old lady walking her Daschund stopped to help him restart his moped, but it was no use. Santa had to walk back to town. On the way he stopped by some carriage drivers. They were really friendly and seemed quite interested in Santa's stories about his sleigh and reindeer. Then Santa had an idea. He talked the carriage drivers into letting him drive a carriage. The problem was that Santa had no idea how fast a sleigh on wheels could go especially with eight horses pulling it! They raced up Queen Street, then the wrong way on Reid Street half scaring every one to death. They roared past the post office, down the sidewalk on Church Street and thundered past City Hall, so wildly it made all the fish in the fountain jump straight up. They galloped down Burnaby Hill and nearly went straight in the harbour. Constable Bean finally arrested Santa in the Number One shed after chasing him three times around the bird cage and upsetting a vegetable cart. Santa was booked for dangerous driving and public mischief and held at the Hamilton Police station. He was told that he could only make one telephone call but it couldn't be long distance. This was terrible.

44 Santa lands in prison careful planning was ruined because Mrs. Claus was afraid of flying and now he couldn't even call her. None of the police officers believed his story about being Santa Claus. They thought he was just another crazy tourist acting foolishly. They were not impressed. Now, back at the North Pole, Mrs Claus was becoming frantic. Then the telephone rang. "Hello. This is P.C. Bean here in Bermuda. We've got an old gentleman here who says he's Mr. Santa Claus. He says if he doesn't get out tonight Christmas won't come. Well, there's no chance of him getting out...well...magistrates court is very busy these days...maybe by the new year...'' "Aaaaaauuuugghhh!'' screamed Mrs. Claus.

She dropped the phone and ran round and round crying, "Christmas must come! Oh, what can I do? What can I do?'' Without stopping to think, she grabbed her big wash tub, threw the all presents for the children into it and jumped on top. Then she called the reindeer. "Giddyap!'' she yelled. And they took off in a wink. The old woman could be seen all over the world that night riding across the sky in her red bathrobe, waving her wooden spoon and shouting, "Just do it!'' When all the presents had been delivered, Mrs. Claus headed to Bermuda. She landed right opposite the police station on lawn of the Senate building. Unfortunately the gates were locked as it was just before dawn, so Mrs. Claus had to climb over the tall iron fence. Her robe caught on the top of the fence and pulled off. Mrs. Claus landed flat on the side walk wearing only her red striped night dress. She ran into the police station and woke up the police constable on duty. It was P.C. Bean. "Oh,'' he said, "you must be Mrs. Claus. Your husband will be very glad you've come to get him out.'' And he was. Santa and his wife walked out together and went back to the Princess Hotel. They had a perfect holiday. Since Mrs. Claus overcame her fear of flying, she goes with her husband every year at Christmas to deliver the presents to the children all over the world. They always make sure that Bermuda is their final destination. PHOTO SPECIAL AWARD WINNER -- Jocelyn Powell, aged 12, won a special prize for her story about Mrs. Claus overcoming her fear of flying. She is pictured here with The Royal Gazette Editor Mr.

David L. White. SANTA'S SPOT -- Santa Claus stayed at the Hamilton Princess Hotel during his visit to the Island in special award winner Jocelyn Powell's short story. He loved the many palm trees, flowers and the huge sparking swimming pool next to the harbour. CHRISTMAS SHORT STORY CONTEST CPN