Dear Annie: I am a 25-year-old woman, still living at home while I complete my master's degree.

Mom likes to go through my things. She went through my dresser and rearranged all my clothing. Granted, it looks very neat, but things are missing. Did she think I wasn't going to notice? When I asked if she got rid of anything else without my permission, she replied, "You should be grateful I've cleaned up your mess!" She's even gone through my car while I've been in class, insisting she was looking for something and didn't want to bother me by asking where it was.

I admit I'm not the most organised person in the world, but if seeing a messy room bothers her that much, she should just close the door. Annie, should I be grateful to her, or should she respect my privacy because I'm an adult? ¿ No Boundaries in Michigan

Dear Michigan: We think your mother is using the cleaning excuse to check up on you, but this is one of the hazards of living at home. Promise to keep your room neater if she will stay out of it. You should not give her a reason to snoop. The only other alternative is to buy a lock and use it. We also recommend you find your own place as soon as you are financially able to do so. Look into campus housing or search craigslist.org for apartments and roommates.

Dear Annie: My husband and I purchased a house last year. Our next-door neighbours are very friendly and we like them, but I cannot stand their children, ages ten, eight and seven.

It's fairly obvious that I can't tolerate the behaviour of these kids. They don't listen to their parents, who also do not pay attention to the kids while they're at our house, which forces my husband and me to tell them not to break our three-year-old daughter's toys or roughhouse in the living room. One night, the family was over and the boys started a fire on our patio.

From what I've seen, they don't have to follow rules at home, so they don't know any better. I won't let my daughter play at their house anymore. Period. My husband thinks I'm being too harsh. Do you? ¿ Caring Mom

Dear Mom: You don't have to let these children into your home if they are destructive, although it's perfectly OK to say, "We need to keep a close watch on the kids. That patio fire scared me to death." As for your daughter, a three-year-old is too young to play with those children without your personal supervision, so she shouldn't be there on her own anyway. If you are present to watch her, what do you care if the boys break their parents' tables and set fire to their porch? They sound like a handful and their parents have given up. But as long as they aren't doing it in your house, try not to make it your problem. When you've had all you can stand, pick up your daughter and go home.

Dear Annie: Here are some suggestions for "Bill's Busy Wife'', who wants to know what to do with her retiree husband:

Substitute teachers are always at a premium. Teach an adult literacy class. Call the local department for families and children and see if an elderly person needs transportation to the doctor's office. Read to children at elementary schools.

Help serve meals at a local rescue mission. Walk dogs at the animal shelter. Call the activity director at a nursing home and ask what volunteers can do. Learn to crochet and make caps for cancer patients. ¿ Amy in Cyberspace

Dear Amy: These are terrific suggestions, and we hope Bill ¿ and anyone else who is looking to keep busy ¿ will check them out.