Having an open and frank discussion with your child about HIV and AIDS is not the easiest conversation for a parent to have with their son or daughter.

And many adults think that by teaching their children about safe sex, they encourage them to become sexually active.

But according to one HIV counsellor, it's a conversation that might save your child's life.

Brenda MacDowell is the Peer Education Coordinator for the Allan Vincent Smith Foundation. As a peer educator, Mrs. MacDowell goes into schools Island-wide and gives two-hour lectures on safe sex, divided up into two or three sessions.

The programme started last year as an intensive course designed to train a handful of students about HIV, who would then act as peer advisors.

But the information was not being thoroughly disseminated, and Mrs. MacDowell now works to ensure that as many students as possible are educated about the dangers of unprotected sex.

"A lot of parents think that the way to stop their children having sex or being involved with drugs is just to tell them not to do it,'' she said.

"But that's like sending them to Vietnam with a BB gun. Children need to be prepared for whatever life throws at them.'' Mrs. MacDowell said as a peer educator, she goes into the schools and teaches students the basics about how HIV is contracted. And as part of the programme, students are told how to use condoms correctly.

She also leaves binders filled with literature on HIV and safer sex at each school should a student have questions later.

"I also always talk to them about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Most people realise taking drugs will give you a crack baby, but they don't realise one drink can affect a baby,'' she said.

Although the programme is primarily focused on AIDS education, students' questions often branch into other areas like birth control.

"Unless they ask the question, we usually don't go in that direction -- but I answer any questions they ask me to the best of my ability,'' she noted.

"I would never not answer a question -- because if they ask, they need to know.

"I've had kids ask some really bizarre questions, which indicate to me that they might be in jeopardy because there are still a lot of old wives tales and fallacies circulating about safe sex.

"For example, one of the misconceptions floating around the schools is that if you urinate after sex, it kills the sperm and you won't get pregnant -- so we have to have a mini biology lesson (to dispel the myth).'' According to Mrs. MacDowell, the programme has been well-received by students thus far. Part of her success, she noted, stems from her ability to make students feel comfortable enough to ask any question -- even the embarrassing ones.

"I go into the classroom and try to make contact with kids, but not as an adult coming to tell them how to run their lives or not to have sex -- they get that from their teachers and parent,'' said Mrs. MacDowell.

"Our whole goal is to tell them about safe sex and how easy it is to catch AIDS... the students I deal with are between the ages of 15 to 17 and even if they're not having sex now, they will be in the future,'' she added.

"I try to come across on their level -- which is something parents and teachers can't do because they have to maintain their authority.

"Because of that, I'm able to relate to these children -- I'm not an authority figure and they never have to see me again if they don't want.

"But what I want is for these kids to be comfortable with the condom -- I don't want the first time they ever see a condom to be when they have to use it.'' *** A partial listing of sexually transmitted diseases: *** Chlamydia: Bacterial disease which usually has no symptoms; can be cured with antibiotics, but cannot undo damage done prior to treatment; can result in sterility, greater risk of contracting HIV if exposed to the virus; can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease in women.

*** Gonorrhea: Bacterial disease with few or mild symptoms which include discharge or itching during urination; has similar effects to chlamydia; can also infect joints, heart valves or brain if left untreated.

Hepatitis B: Viral disease with no known cure; most infections clear up within four to six weeks, although those who are chronically infected can suffer from cirrhosis or liver cancer; when symptoms are present, they include fever, headache, muscle ache fatigue, vomiting and diarrhoea.

*** Genital Herpes: Viral disease with no known cure; anti-viral drugs are effective in reducing the frequency and duration of outbreaks; increased risk of infection if exposed to HIV; symptoms can be mild and include itching, burning, and blisters or sores.

*** HIV/AIDS: Viral disease with no known cure; may have no symptoms at first, although flu-like symptoms are possible; virtually everyone infected with HIV develops AIDS and dies of AIDS-related complications.

*** Human Papilloma Virus (HPV): Viral disease which causes fleshy, cauliflower-like warts to develop on genitals, anus or throat; no known cure; warts can be suppressed by chemicals, freezing, laser therapy and surgery; associated with genital cancers.

*** Syphilis: Bacterial disease that can be cured with penicillin, although damage done to organs cannot be reversed; symptoms include painless sores, rash, sore throat, fever, hair loss and swollen glands; can seriously damage heart, brain, eyes, bones, nervous system and can lead to death.

Excerpted from the Female Health Company webpage.

Safe sex: As part of the programme, students are told how to use condoms correctly.