Now that we have arrived at this most festive time of the year it has become traditional with this Commentary for me to step away from addressing the hard issues of the day and poke a little light fun at Bermuda's officialdom and other Bermudian newsmakers by handing out the Christmas presents I think they deserve.

I always begin at the very top of Bermuda's protocol list with the Governor. Now I know I recently stated that Sir Richard Gozney's official residence, Government House, could be put to better use as a university hospital of the type they have in Grenada. It's nothing personal, Sir Richard. But because I am a longtime Bermudian nationalist, I hope to one day see my country finally become an Independent micro-nation. I have written many anti-colonialist columns in my time and in the bad old days I might even have been locked up for sedition at one point. However, despite my nationalist sentiments, I still depend on the BBC news for my international understanding of world affairs and the only newspaper I have a subscription to is the British Guardian Weekly, a fine journal some consider to be left of centre. So if we re-gifted Government House to the people of Bermuda, there remains the vexed question as to where we are going to house Britain's diplomatic representative? Well, why not Clifton if it was good enough for the Bermudian Premier, it should be good enough for any British Governor. And for the wife of the Governor, Lady Gozney, a woman who I understand has a mean backhand on the tennis courts,what about private lessons with top Bermudian tennis pro David Lambert,

Now for the leader of my country, Premier Ewart Brown. What do you get for the man who seems to have everything? Last year I gave him what I thought was the ultimate, his own Government Jet, Gombey One, so that he would not have to depend on the airlines when he has to go overseas on Government business.

But I have something this year that even tops that. I know the Premier likes to step out when it comes to his wardrobe. So for him a closet full of those tailored, bullet-proof coats and jackets, the kind that former President Reagan used to wear. Just think of the frustration of your political detractors when all their political darts they hurl cannot touch you. Oh, and thank you for the Christmas card! For your wife, Mrs. Wanda Brown, a day of beauty at the spa of her choice.

Kim Swan, new leader of the United Bermuda Party, receives Machiavelli's classic account of political skulduggery, The Prince. Read it once and then immediately read it again, Mr. Swan. With the number of plotters and potential backroom conspirators in your party, you might find the advice of Machiavelli useful.

For the former Opposition Leader and now Independent Member of Parliament Wayne Furbert well what can I say or even give you in this festive season? Perhaps a first edition of the classic tale Robinson Crusoe more than a children's story, it is about survival, hope and finally triumphant rescue. Who is to say your own political story cannot have a similar hopeful outcome.

UBP Deputy Leader Trevor Moniz. in the wake of his failed attempt to keep Julian Hall out of the courts, the children's yarn of the Dog in the Manger, an easy read that can be completed in one sitting.

Left right, left right, the government's boots, the government's boots members of Bermudians Against the Draft (BAD), having failed to win their case in Bermuda courts, are now threatening to take their case to the Privy Council. But before you pursue that judicial avenue, I have for you this story about Bermuda's slave past and real national commitment to one's country. Back in the day, when Bermudians built their own ships that were sailed by crews who were half free and half slave, one of those ships landed in England. Now the British had a policy that if a slave set foot on British soil, then that slave became a free man. Can you imagine the dilemma faced by our black Bermudian seamen? Whether to forget about their slave-owning country called Bermuda and claim their freedom. In the end every man decided to return to Bermuda. Now those who claim that slavery in Bermuda was benign have attempted to seize upon this incident as proof that this was in fact the case (and that is why the statue of Sally Bassett is so important as a monument to all of my ancestors who suffered under slavery). But why did these black Bermudian mariners turn down the British unconditional offer of freedom to return to slave-owning Bermuda. Was it because Bermuda had a more benign system of slavery? Or was it because despite the fact they were not free men, Bermuda was where their children were, where the women who shared their beds were, where their brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers were? Was it because they had a sense of community, a sense of country? I think they indeed has a sense of country despite the fact they had to endure slavery. So, BAD members, as you take your case to the Privy Council think about those black Bermudian seamen who made what amounted to the ultimate sacrifice ibecause they felt a sense of responsibility to their community and their country.

As we neared the end of the year I was getting worried as there appeared to be no candidates for the annual duel at dawn at Fort St. Catherine's Beach, my bloodless way of settling simmering blood feuds in the community. But Bermudians never let me down, so I have chosen the following duellists this year - the banker and the gym teacher. No need to call names, everybody knows who I am speaking of even though the former offered an apology, the gym teacher seemed to accept it in a lukewarm manner. So we will have to settle it in the traditional way. Weapons water pistols, back to back, walk ten paces turn and fire. The loser of course has to buy everyone present a cod fish and potato breakfast.

Now I'd like to give my final season's greeting, a posthumous one. I would like to pay tribute to the man who inspired me to write this seasonal Commentary. I speak of the late Mr. Walter Robinson, a former Progressive Labour Party leader, Puisne Judge and one of the finest constitutional scholars Bermuda has ever produced. We were columnists together at the old Bermuda Times newspaper and he always wrote this type of pre-Christmas column. And, as I recall, he always put a lot more lumps of coal in certain stockings than I ever have, After he died, I took over his Christmas tradition of making a list ... and checking it twice.

Now for some good news. I now have a new grandchild. My son and daughter-in-law gave me this gift on December 20. It was a big surprise all the way around as we were told to expect a boy but we got a little girl. I am sorry I was not be able to carry out my usual granfatherly duties - being at the hospital the day after the birth with camera in tow and a teddy bear for the new grand. But with this bad cold, I will have to stay away until I get better. Now I have five granddaughters and two grandsons. The Williams' clan grows ever larger doing our bit to keep the 'B' in Bermuda and with that I wish all my readers the happiest of holiday seasons.