of funeral limousines when she was against the move -- has already become part of political legend in Bermuda.

The mistake, which led to the controversial bill passing by a single vote, hasn't done much for the reputation of our political masters. So much so, in fact, that soon-to-be-wed Home Affairs and Public Safety Minister Paula Cox has been besieged by worried friends reminding her to make sure she says "I do'' instead of "I don't'' on the big day.

Hester is pleased to report that the Independent Senator has not been branded "Loose Cannonier'' by Upper House colleagues -- at least, not yet.

While the big shot airlines serving Bermuda seem to be preoccupied lately with turning locals -- i.e. cyclist Elliot Hubbard -- away , the cruise ships are going out of their way to get them on board! Hester had to giggle when she heard what lengths one cruise ship went to to make sure a St. David's couple got to enjoy their Cup Match holiday cruise to Boston. The Norwegian Majesty had pulled up the gang plank and was happily steaming out of St. George's Harbour when the frantic couple pulled up to the terminal, several minutes after the scheduled departure time (rumour is they had nipped down to Cup Match).

To make matters worse, all their luggage was already on board. But fast thinking Customs and Marine & Ports officers started up the tugboat St. George , still alongside the dock, packed the poor couple on board and sped out to the departing liner. Cruise workers obligingly sent down a Jacob's ladder and hauled the red-faced couple up the side. Passengers on deck broke out in applause as they were helped up, looking more than a bit embarrassed.

Returning to the airlines, Hester thinks they have more than a little explaining to do! The fire alarm went off and rang for ten minutes straight on Saturday in the departure lounge as people booked on five flights waited to board.

But as bewildered tourists gathered up their belongings awaiting instructions on where to flee, not a whisper came over the PA system to explain what the heck was going on. After a while, they took their cue from the locals, who mysteriously sat absolutely unfazed through out the piercing alarm. Ten minutes later, when the bell finally stopped ringing, still no-one had explained what had happened.

Still on the subject of airlines, the American Airlines morning flight from the Big Apple must have had a stewardess on board who was missing Barbados.

When everyone was seated she announced that the flight was AA's "non stop service to Barbados''. To add insult to injury, when it landed in what looked like Bermuda, she "welcomed everyone to the lovely island of Barbados''.

Alas for AA, Hester hears Madam Premier Jennifer Smith herself and The Colonel were returning to the island on that particular flight, in first class of course, and were none too amused.

The humiliated UBP must really be getting bored in its new role as opposition.

Obviously, for lack of being able to dig up any substantial political dirt on the Government, the party appears to have seized upon the Premier's taste for the finer things in life, such as expensive champagne, and is using it to further its contention that the PLP is going to bankrupt the country.

Hester hears some of the UBP's most senior members and ex-Cabinet minister have been spreading the scurrilous and unfounded story that, God forbid, Ms Smith has taken to carting around a silver chalice in which to drink her beloved champagne. Come on now! The Deputy Gov. insists the new DPP (director of public prosecutions) has not been appointed, but lawyers in the AG's chambers were recently overheard saying they had to rush back to work because they've got a new boss. Word is, long serving Crown counsel Khamisi Tokunbo, has been offered the job but -- in keeping with the Bermudian way -- someone is supposed to be brought in from overseas to show him the ropes for a while.

Hesters hears, though, a proud Mr. Tokunbo put his foot down about the "expert'' looking over his shoulder for as long as two years.

Hester's favourite crime lawyer seems to be keeping a low profile these days, but he more than makes up for it during one of his rare court appearances.

Julian Hall , appearing for client Kirk Roberts , was faced with a frustrating adjournment after he was set to launch into a long form preliminary inquiry, but was told he couldn't because the Crown had mistakenly only prepared for a short form `PI'...thus he couldn't resist giving the court a piece of his mind. And after a lengthy argument as to why the inquiry could still proceed, and a few wise words from Magistrate Ed King, the Crown counsel innocently asked what the moral of the story was.

The learned Mr. Hall cheekily replied: "The moral of the story is don't mess with Julian!'' What with Jean-Jacques Lemay's economical wedding bash and all, love is clearly in the air among the boys in blue.

And the taxpayer can be assured no-one is going to bother a bunch of drop-dead gorgeous, highly-paid models while the stalwarts of the Marine Police still draw a breath. Working on the basis, presumably, that all the nice girls love a sailor, the all-at-sea section was called to Admiralty House beach on Tuesday after reports that a group of nervy jet-skiers were interfering with a photo-shoot for the sexy Victoria's Secret swimwear catalogue.

Even the Police Media Relations department, not noted for the wit of its press releases, found it difficult to suspend its disbelief after noting the crew of Heron 3 "felt it would be prudent'' to stay on station off the beach to "monitor'' the situation for a full hour...With their eyes fixed firmly on the horizon, no doubt.