Bermuda's Baghdad Bob?

April 22, 2003

Dear Sir,

Larry Burchall works hard in his Bermuda Sun column of April 16, 2003, to turn Bermuda into a sort of clich? of third world colonialism, exhorting the black middle class to become "masters and controllers" of their own destiny at last. "In most of the rest of the world, oligarchies and aristocracies were long ago pushed aside by an educated, intelligent and politically aware middle class," he says. "And in every stable country where this happened, this intelligent middle class has been representative of the majority of that country's majority population."

Just in case you should somehow have missed the point, he devotes about six inches of newsprint to percentages that prove and underline the fact that the majority in Bermuda is black.

I guess what makes him anxious is the possibility that the Progressive Labour Party, the party he feels stands and will stand forever for black people, might actually get voted out of office at the next election. Don't worry about the Berkeley construction site scandal, he says, don't worry about the Housing Corporation scandal, the UBP did the same sort of thing.

"No realist," he huffs, "expected perfection from either party. No realist," he puffs, "has been surprised or disappointed." In the Burchall book, the UBP is "still the old coalition of majority white and minority black". Well, OK, he says grudgingly, "there are a few more blacks seen in the corridors of power." But in case you should be tempted to get carried away with that little bit of progress, he adds "and not just as cleaners".

The good news, he says, is that the PLP has successfully passed its "fundamental" test, and can definitely run a government. I guess this is the Burchall version of Baghdad Bob's little gem: "The infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad."

The flaw in Mr. Burchall's argument is his assumption that if you're black, you have to vote for the black party. That's going to be something we'll hear over and over again as the election gets closer. But it's not true. Never was. Never will be.

People vote for the best government they can get. And if people decide they've had enough of people more interested in lining their own pockets than doing a good job, then the votes are going elsewhere.

Mr. Burchall has to bring his little statement up to date, because there aren't a lot of aristocracies and oligarchies to push aside any more, and haven't been for two or three generations. What educated, intelligent and politically-aware middle classes do these days is see through lies and excuses, and vote bad, lazy or corrupt politicians out of office.

Let's fix this

April 14, 2003

Dear Sir,

I write to politely suggest that the once-beautiful cedar doors at the Registrar of Supreme Court on Front Street be given another chance at life. The shutter slats are deteriorating beyond repair and it is distressing to watch. I remember that when the Registrar was relocated from the Sessions House to Front Street, (about ten years ago), the two sets of cedar doors were shining and looked very serviceable, which they are not now.

I know the two flower beds either side of the ramp receive a lot of traffic and litter from passers by, but some robust plants would look nice at least for a while.

It's not a little problem

April 14, 2003

Dear Sir,

On March 28 and April 5, students of the In Motion School of Dance held their Sixth Annual KBB-assisted Trash-a-thon, collecting over 100 bags of trash and recyclables from the Astwood Park and Warwick Playground areas. This was in Motion's second year at the Warwick Playground sight and we collected approximately 3,000 pieces of trash (comprising mainly of empty cans and bottles).

In addition to raising funds for the purchase of costumes for their Annual Dance Showcase to be held this May, students also gained a better appreciation of the litter problem in Bermuda, and the importance of maintaining our island's beauty.

Despite the efforts of small groups as ours, the littler problem is a large one, and will continue to escalate unless we all show a bit more respect for our Island and its beauty. The number of glass bottles and cans being thrown into the bushes is alarming and further brought to light when participating in a cleanup. Keep Bermuda clean is everyone's responsibility and we all need to work a little harder to help.

In Motion would like to take this opportunity to thank all of those students who participated for a fabulous job, and especially thank those parents , teachers and friends who took time out to assist in the event. A special thank you to Lindo's Family Foods and Dunkley's Dairy for prodding beverages for both cleanup events.

Thanks also goes to KBB for their guidance and support, and to those persons who kindly donated towards keeping our island beautiful and supporting our youth in the arts. Congratulations on another successful Trash-a-thon and let's all do our part to Keep Bermuda Beautiful.

Not when I'm paying

April 13, 2003

Dear Sir,

Taxi drivers, please remember who's paying the fare when you decide to let traffic out in front of you. It's nerve enough of your to let one car out - but to let a whole line of traffic out - during rush hour!? Please, do that when I'm not paying the fare!

Get rid of the flower pots!

April 16, 2003

Dear Sir,

For many years I worked at the Card Cove on Queen Street and when friends would complain of 'the terrible parking problems in town' I would boast that I was always able to find a spot on Queen St. Admittedly I would shuffle up and down the street every hour and frequently forgot just where I had last left the car.

On one occasion I bumped into a friend and asked him if he ever had trouble finding his car - he replied 'only when I have stayed in Casey's too long'. Anyway, I digress. Just prior to my retirement, I noticed the Corporation (of Hamilton) was planting trees at intervals along either side of Queen St. and I remember thinking that one day it would be just like Cedar Avenue - forming a beautiful arch of foliage across the road greatly enhancing the cove and the general area.

Yesterday I was crawling up Queen St. and there right opposite the Cove was a rather small spot but priding myself on being a very good parker I lined myself up parallel and commenced the slow backward reverse. Suddenly there was an almighty 'crunch!' and I felt I had hit the Queen Mary at 50 mph.

On inspection, I discovered that someone had designed one massive concrete flower pot (reminiscent of a tank I have seen in a desert somewhere) specifically designed at just the right height to be below my field of vision and taking up many yards of potential parking space. Could there perhaps be a Referendum held in Bermuda on these flower pots - come to think of it we could add a few other things to the Referendum - but the flower pots should definitely be at the top of the list. Many thanks.

Where the power lies

April 16, 2003

Dear Sir,

I am responding to the writer of 'Where's the Beef' dated April 16, 2003. He/she was complaining about the quality of beef pies and patties that restaurants are selling on the island, and wants to know if Consumer Affairs could do something about it. I have a simple suggestion for 'Where's the Beef'.

If these items are as bad as you say they are, then you as a consumer should simply not buy that product again. The same goes for the other customers. The restaurant(s) will quickly catch on when it profits drop. If the pies are a major part of its business, then they may even be forced to close up shop.

Don't leave everything up to Consumer Affairs. The real power is in your hands - the purchaser. If you don't like a particular product, just don't buy it!

Be very aware

April 9, 2003

Dear Sir,

Today we almost had an encounter with some fool who obviously doesn't have any respect for other drivers on the road. The owner of a bronze coloured Pajero four wheel passed two vehicles approaching Stonecrusher Corner with another vehicle coming in the other direction around the corner, squeezing between myself and the car in front.

If that wasn't bad enough, he passed another vehicle on the left as they approached the airport roundabout. But the Causeway light stopped him short in traffic. What really concerned me was his undue care driving with a child in the front whom he proceeded to drop off at the Francis Patton school bus stop. I don't care if he doesn't have any regard for his life, but don't neglect your children and teach them these bad "road rage" type of behaviours. I hope your friends and neighbours see this and make it a point to chastise you for these actions. Maybe you were just late for your tee time as I noticed you turning up Barker's Hill!

After all this reckless driving, I still ended up in front. What was he/she ever thinking, I couldn't tell as the car had dark tinted windows, that also happen to be outlawed! Have a good day and if you see this vehicle coming, be aware.