One of the biggest problems facing many of those with HIV and AIDS in Bermuda today is the stress and misery caused by continuing condemnation and rejection from the community, and even their families.

A full decade after The Royal Gazette began carrying stories on the social problems encountered by persons with AIDS in a society that was still largely uneducated about the mysterious and fatal illness, many of the misconceptions -- and the discrimination that went with it -- are still, unfortunately a fact of life.

This was sharply brought home to the Allan Vincent Smith Foundation (AVSF) just last week, when a headline in the paper reported, yet again, that "Bermudians with AIDS are being `shunned'''.

"As a society, we are still treating AIDS as if it was leprosy, and it's nothing like that!'' exclaims AVSF director, Mrs. Brenda McLean.

For this reason the Foundation is pleased that the theme for this year's World AIDS Day, which takes place tomorrow, is "AIDS and the Family, Families Take Care''.

Ms Rhonda Daniels, vice president of AVSF says, "It's nice that we have people coming down here to talk to us during the World AIDS Day week of activities, but it would be better if our own people could stand up and talk to Bermuda. We have people here who would like to admit publicly to having AIDS but can't because of the discrimination we are still practising. There are a few who go quietly round the schools, but nothing is publicised about this.'' Mrs. McLean believes that because of this discrimination, the Island has missed a unique opportunity to leave its mark on the world-wide battle against AIDS.

"In such a small, contained community, with our good medical care and excellent reporting systems, we could become an example to the rest of the world,'' she says.

AVSF was formed two years ago by a group of concerned citizens and named for Mrs. McLean's brother, Allan Smith who died of complications from AIDS in 1991. Its mission was -- and is -- to prevent the further spread of the disease through education, and to offer support, not only to those with the disease, but to their loved ones.

The most important achievement of the Foundation, feels Mrs. McLean, was the installation of the Helpline in May of last year. Three groups of volunteers have now been trained to provide confidential counselling on AIDS-related problems, such as treatment and therapy options, medical, legal, social and pastoral services that are available, professional referrals and putting callers in touch with overseas service organisations.

"The Helpline provides warm and caring communication with an unbiased person so that all the concerns of HIV and AIDS can be openly talked about,'' says Mrs. McLean.

Noting that they receive "an enormous range of questions'', Ms Daniels reveals that some volunteers establish such a rapport with a particular caller that he or she will ask for the same volunteer. "They don't know each other, but the caller senses there is a friend on the other end of the line. That's very important, especially for someone who is terrified, sometimes totally alone with no one to turn to. Some people whisper on the phone, almost as if they're involved in some sort of spy mission''.

Mrs. McLean says that the Foundation has sent out educational material to the medical profession, libraries, colleges and businesses.

"We've also participated in radio and talk shows and given speeches to different groups in the community, to try and raise awareness.'' This year, AVSF will devote its energies to working with the community in heightening awareness of the problems that affect those with AIDS and, increasingly, their families.

Emphasising that "families'' no longer necessarily means the traditional unit of "Mom and Pop and two kids'', Ms Daniels, says there are about eight definitions of what constitutes a "family'' these days. All those people, she says, need to be reached.

"More and more people are being directly or indirectly affected by HIV and AIDS, and there is just about no one who won't be affected one way or another, in the future.'' The latest statistics tend to confirm her predictions. From the early days, when Bermuda reported the fourth official death from AIDS in 1983, and a death toll of 18 by January 1986, the cumulative figure from 1982 to date, is 287 cases, of which 239 have died.

Ms Daniels, who is also the Government nurse epidemiologist confirms that 191 are presently known to be HIV infected, with 23 new cases reported so far this year. Of that number, just under half are women and there are four children diagnosed with HIV, the same figure as last year. She adds that AIDS, "no respecter of race or class'' is now well entrenched in the heterosexual community, with 58 women having been diagnosed since 1982.

"We suspect that a far greater number of women are infected, but for some reason they are not being diagnosed. AIDS, especially in women, manifests itself in many different ways,'' says Ms Daniels. "It is known that when women do contract AIDS they do not usually live as long as men. Women play many different roles in our society and they tend to look after others rather than themselves. And often, they're so busy looking after the house and the kids and having to earn a living, that they tend to delay seeing a doctor if they're unwell. And then, the great fear of AIDS itself, puts people off.

Sometimes, they would rather just not know.

"Because of the stigma still attached to AIDS, people are tending to hide their illness, instead of seeking help. We know now that early diagnosis can prolong life by quite a few years. But by the time many Bermudians get medical treatment, it's too late and, in some cases, they are dying much sooner than they need.'' She makes the chilling observation that autopsies are revealing AIDS diagnoses and adds, "There are, of course, many people also who, because of the stigma, go abroad for testing, diagnosis and treatment.'' Both women point out that the stress of losing one's job, and with it, medical insurance to cover the high cost of some medical treatments, also hastens death.

"The Foundation wants to make everyone more aware of how to deal with people who are diagnosed as HIV positive, especially in the workplace, to understand that it really is okay to be friends with someone with AIDS or HIV. The Foundation would like to establish training sessions to educate employers and employees on how AIDS is contracted and to sensitise people on how to work alongside people with AIDS. We need to ensure that these people can obtain medical care. We would like to encourage companies to keep them on the payroll when they can no longer work so that they can still get insurance, helping people in a practical sense,'' says Mrs. McLean.

Foundation anxious to change attitudes From Page 13 She knows, from personal experience, just how important that is.

"For Allan, going to work was vitally important to him, to know that he was still included in, and a part of everyday, normal life. When there were days when he was feeling unwell and couldn't go to work, he was more concerned that he was letting his friends and colleagues down, than the fact that he was having a bad day, or a bad week.

"When he went into Agape House, we would take him home or out to lunch whenever possible. Some people with AIDS get dementia, or the memory goes.

Allan was fortunate, because his brain was okay. He had a sense of humour right up to the day he died.'' Both women are disappointed that, despite the efforts of Government and volunteer organisations to educate the public, attitudes in some sections of the community seem to have improved little over the past decade. They are especially concerned by the judgmental attitude of some churches toward people with AIDS. "The Anglican church has been the most supportive of people with AIDS,'' comments Ms Daniels.

Admitting that AIDS is not getting the financial support they had hoped for, she comments, "We like to think that we are a kind and compassionate people.

But when it comes to fund raising, AIDS is not at the top of the list.'' Mrs. McLean adds, "AIDS is not perceived as a socially acceptable disease, so, unfortunately, we are not getting support from the people who are in the best position to give it. The Foundation is anxious to change that attitude.'' Confidentiality remains a big problem.

"A lot of people go abroad for testing, diagnosis and treatment,'' says Ms Daniels. "People don't want to go to Government but, in fact, you are far better off doing that, because we provide total confidentiality by issuing every client with a false name. If you go to your doctor to be tested, it automatically goes to the hospital and through many different departments, so people are going to see those tests.'' Another good reason for going to the clinic, she adds, is that they insist on pre-test counselling and then, post-test counselling.

"We don't give the results over the phone. We are not just dealing with the health issue, but emotional and legal problems as well. For example, people need to understand that since the amendment to the Criminal Code, it is an offence not to advise sexual partners of infection with HIV, AIDS or even Hapatitis B.'' One of the most vital points that still has to be stressed to the public, says Ms Daniels is that the disease has a very long incubation.

"We now know it can be six to 14 years. We know people infected in 1981 who still haven't developed AIDS. You can't tell if someone has AIDS just by looking at them! The test is really important for anyone who thinks they may be at risk, because otherwise, they will continue to put other people in danger. And the sooner you get help, the longer you will live.'' As another World AIDS Day comes and goes without any immediate hope of a cure for the pandemic that is claiming the lives of millions of men, women and children all over the world, Mrs. McLean appeals for volunteers to help with the work of the Allan Vincent Smith Foundation.

"This coming year, we will be doing more radio and TV ads and training more volunteers for the Helpline. But we need physical help from volunteers, such as driving people around who can no longer drive, help with their meals, read to people who have gone blind with this disease, or help those still at home to tidy up the yard, or go and collect their prescriptions and do their shopping for them. There are so many ways in which we can help.'' Activities to mark World AIDS Day 1994 in Bermuda include: A parents forum, today and tomorrow, sponsored by the World AIDS Day Committee. Learn how to talk to your children about HIV and AIDS. Today's forum will be held at Wesley Methodist Church Hall on Church St., beginning at 7 p.m. Tomorrow's meeting will be held at St. George's Secondary School Hall, Old Military Road, St. George's, also beginning at 7 p.m.

World AIDS Day proclamation on Thursday, beginning at noon on the steps of City Hall and ending with the unveiling of the AIDS quilt.

World AIDS Day torch light walk on Thursday, starting at Victoria Park at 7 p.m.

All are welcome to attend all of the above activities. For further information call 292-6777.

AIDS AND THE FAMILY -- That's the theme for tomorrow's World AIDS Day. Mrs.

Brenda McLean, left, and Ms Rhonda Daniels of the Allan Vincent Smith Foundation say that Bermuda needs to unite as a family to help in the fight against AIDS.