Question: I'm hoping you can help me with my two daughters, ages 6 years and 22 months. Neither will stay in their bed all night. They crawl into our bed every night, crying.

I know this is my fault: I never followed a bedtime routine. I breastfed both of them, the oldest until she was two years old and the little one up until a couple of months ago. They both got used to falling asleep while nursing. I'm a working mother, and when I try putting them in their beds, it usually only works for a couple of nights and then I'm too tired to follow through. Their crying gets to me and I just let them back in our bed. My husband tries to help, but we're both in the same situation (working and tired).

My oldest daughter says she's scared, and no night lights or bedtime stories help. The little one just cries and throws a fit if we put her back in her bed. They share a bedroom, so usually one will wake up the other.

Please help! I really want my daughters to have healthy sleeping habits, and I'll do anything you tell me to do.

Answer: You can add several night lights or even full light for a few nights until your daughters adjust. Quiet music often dissipates the creaks and scary sounds. Kids sometimes feel safer with a flashlight on the nightstand next to their beds; a special stuffed animal or doll may also be comforting. A sticker reward program toward a prize that your children can earn together can help motivate them to return to their beds as well.

I strongly recommend you put a gate up on your bedroom door so they simply can't come into your bed. However, you won't succeed in getting them into good sleeping habits unless you and your husband are both firm, no matter how tired you are. If you're definite and absolutely refuse to let them in your room, they may fall asleep crying on the floor next to your doorway for a few nights, but they'll soon learn to go back to bed, and soon after that they won't even leave their beds.

This will take less than a week's time if you and your husband don't cave in to their cries. Particularly because they have each other's company, their fears should disappear. Although it's appropriate to make exceptions for thunder storms, beyond those, you'll have to be consistent until they feel completely comfortable in their own room. Once that happens, everyone will have a good night's sleep, and you'll look back at these sleepless nights and wonder why you ever let them happen.

For a free newsletter about raising preschoolers, send a large self- addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or read "Raising Preschoolers" at www.sylviarimm.com.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.