A group of disgruntled fathers hijacked an open forum on women's issues held last night in St. Paul's AME Centennial Hall.

The forum was organised by the Bermuda Family (BFC) to discuss issues which arose from a survey the council conducted on women's perceptions and experiences.

The survey found that women in Bermuda are concerned about issues of abuse and violence and how these issues are handled in the courts. It also pinpointed women's concerns about pay equity in the workplace.

But, while five different speakers spoke on a variety of issues related to both women and the family over the course of the forum, during the panel discussion which followed the room was dominated by questions from men - many of whom are members of the Child Watch group which recently hosted its own forum.

Some of the comments and questions from the floor directly mirrored those raised at the Father's for Families forum held last Wednesday.

Speakers questioned the double standard of the courts in jailing fathers for failing to pay child support while failing to take action against mothers who refuse access to the children.

"How can the courts enforce one portion of a court order (with regard to children) while ignoring another part just three sentences down," asked one man.

"How can we be held responsible for the actions of children when we can't even see the children," demanded another.

Another, visibly angry man said mothers are often not disciplining children at all, while if the father intervenes, they are charge with child abuse or abuse against women.

And another man wanted to know what effect same-sex relationships were having on children and whether Bermuda had any statistics on those effects.

Emotions rose within the hall to the point that moderator Shaun Crockwell of the BFC had to ask attendees not to verbally attack the panellists as both women and men expressed frustration over personal situations.

Roughly 90 people attended the forum, with men making up approximately half of those in the crowd.

But when the flow of questions from the men in the audience failed to ebb, with many relating personal accounts, Mr. Crockwell intervened to redirect the dying moments of the forum to its intended topic.

He told those gathered that BFC intends to conduct a forum on men's issues in the coming year and will hold a similar forum at that time.

"We don't want male questions to take over the forum," he said, as he moved the discussion toward a question related to pay equity in the work place.

While the forum was ostensibly intended to discuss the results of 403 women in Bermuda conducted early this year, many of the speakers last night focussed on the family as a whole or on children in particular in their comments.

Opening the forum, Health Minister Nelson Bascome set the tone as he detailed how early in the PLP Government it was decided that a women's issues council should be re-directed to focus on the greater needs of the family. "Now, more than ever families need our support and assistance to carry out their critical roles," he said.

Most speakers seemed to agree that Bermuda's families are in crisis as they respond to a multitude of internal and external challenges in a transitioning society.

BFC chair Roy Wright highlighted Bermuda's high divorce rate - some 50 percent of marriages end in divorce - and suggested more counselling, both pre-marital and when unions hit rough patches, may be the answer to turning the situation around. Mr. Wright said, sociologically, there are many predictors for divorce.

Couples who marry while in their 20s, for example, are more likely to divorce, as are those who marry after a short courtship. Economic factors have a strong impact on the success of marriages as well he said, and he suggested Bermuda needs to take a more concerted look at poverty in our community despite the Country's high per capita income.

Education Minister Paula Cox, delivering the keynote address, which focussed on the role of the family in Bermuda.

Ms Cox said families are in transition from the dominant "nuclear family" concept of the 1950s and, while there are many community problems, one you steer clear from nostalgia and longing for "the good old days".

The "good old days" were not good for everyone, she said, and while more women may have been in the home, their reasons for being there were not always voluntary. "The good old days for whom," she asked. "Things aren't always what they seem."

While families present a "challenge for public policy", Ms Cox said, the PLP Government was not one which would "mandate a one size fits all approach".

There is a general belief that two-parent households are better for the children, she said. "However, is that reason to expect everyone to come from a conventional family? Nothing could be further from the truth."

Ms Cox also shared her concerns that children are having sex at ever younger ages and, reportedly, do not consider oral sex to be sex. And some girls see nothing wrong with exchanging sexual favours for material goods, she added.

Picking up similar concerns, speaker Gaynell Hayward spoke to the issue of teen pregnancy.

Ms Hayward said, while numbers of teen pregnancies are falling, there are great causes for concern in the sexual behaviour of local children.

"Most are not in relationships," she said. "They are cool."

Adult men often prey on young women for sex, Ms Hayward added. These men have multiple partners, which increased the risk of exposure to sexually transmitted diseases to the girls.

Yet, the promotion of abstinence as a real sexual choice has almost disappeared, she added.

Other methods can promote a decline in teen pregnancies, she suggested, such as availability of contraceptives and emergency contraceptive (morning after pills), better informing children and parents about sexual issues and better health services, but children must learn to respect themselves as well. Ms Hayward said sexual health can be looked at as a matter of three Rs - relationships, responsibility and respect. "Demand respect and give respect," she said.

Other speakers focussed on the domestic abuse and equity in the workplace.

Rosana Vickers of the Physical Abuse Centre, which operates Bermuda's only shelter for victims of domestic violence, reinforced the message that no one deserves to be abused. Domestic violence is a "silent destroyer" of our community, she said, and it created a destructive cycle particularly when it occurs in the presence of children.

They will grow up to be abusers or victims, Ms Vickers said, and Bermuda is already seeing an increase in children abusing their parents. "Abuse is about power," she said, "and it follows a pattern."

The PAC offers both relief to the battered and programmes to help batters, she added, and encouraged those in need of help to contact the centre at 297-8278.

ACE Bermuda chief learning officer Edmina Bradshaw shared with the forum her thoughts on equity in the workplace.

Ms Bradshaw said there is a long way to go before true equity can be realised but she encouraged women to realistically assess their personal goals and situations when considering their professional development.

The importance of mentoring cannot be overlooked, she added. Professional women have responsibility to help the next generation.

Answering an question from the audience, on whether the notion that women do not receive equal pay for equal work was "fact or fiction" during the panel discussion, Ms Bradshaw said: "In my personal opinion, it is very real."