correctional facility.

But Bermuda's facility -- a prison, to all intents and purposes -- is doing its best to lower such expectations.

After all, our photograph (right) shows the prison is still in need of a dose of correctional treatment itself...namely, a name change.

Somewhat surprising, perhaps, given the hullabaloo over the original name, the West End Correctional Facility.

Members of West End Primary School PTA and student body, you will recall, feared the name suggested an unhappy link with them.

So, Government put their thinking caps back on, and last week proudly retitled the prison the Westgate Correctional Facility.

"The Government has now agreed to change the name of the facility to avoid further community dissatisfaction, which would take away from the successful opening of the facility and the introduction of the new corrections and rehabilitation philosophy,'' trumpeted Social Services Minister the Hon.

Quinton Edness.

The change is effective immediately, he added.

Immediately? Well, when politics is the name of the game, perhaps one shouldn't give words their literal meaning.

*** PTL From the Hon. Grant Gibbons to pro-marijuana Independent Mr. Gershwyn Smith, the list of potential candidates for the July 14 Paget East by-election is growing longer.

Other possible candidates include Dr. Edward Harris, Mr. Geoff Parker, Mrs.

Aurelia Burch, Mr. David Skinner, and Mr. Sanders Frith Brown.

But nearly all of them have one thing in common.

They can probably claim to have been "born in Paget East''.

Like most other babies, they would have gone home from the hospital on Point Finger Road a short time later.

*** PTL One of Paget's wiser retirees, a businessman man who remains active in community service, was discussing the upcoming by-election with a friend as they savoured the views from his harbourside home.

"Why don't you run in Paget?'' the friend challenged.

"I'd rather sit in Paget!'' he smiled.

*** BUC Just how confidential is confidential? That is the question at least one telephone operator might ask herself today.

Having tried unsuccessfully for several hours to reach a recently-arrived senior employee at a top hotels, a Royal Gazette reporter finally asked the operator if the man had a telephone at home.

"I'm sorry, we are not allowed to give out home numbers,'' she advised. Then could she contact the man and ask him to call the reporter? No problem.

Minutes later the phone rang.

"I'm sorry,'' said the operator, "I thought we had his home telephone number but we don't.'' The scribe then turned to the telephone directory and there it was! *** NJ Former Royal Gazette reporter Martin Gould, who many will undoubtedly recall for his legendary, though somewhat manic, prowess with politicians and St.

Pauli Girls, has moved onto a higher calling.

"Gouldie'', a "proper British journalist'' has taken a position with the most improper American tabloid The Star.

And how is it, Mr. Gould? His day yesterday went thusly: Woke up an hour late for work with dreadful hangover, grabbed glass of water on nightstand and gulped down, discovered glass contained contact lenses of nearby female acquaintance.

"Most expensive drink I've ever had, $160 for a mouthful of water,'' he told the Notebook.

*** SOC World Cup tickets in Bermuda are about as rare as a quiet tree frog, and searching for them is just as annoying.

A couple of Royal Gazette reporters were promised tickets to see Mexico v Ireland and Belgium v Holland in Orlando, but this fell through.

Now they are left seeking out rumours of tickets for the matches with less than a week to go before they travel.

"I've got tickets for the game.'' "No they're for the Morocco game.'' "I know someone... Oh, he's sold them.'' All these are now well worn comments as our two fans are coming to accept they will be watching the games in an Orlando bar.

So, as Bermudians fly over to watch the greatest sporting spectacle on earth, our Royal Gazette pair will have to make do with meeting Mickey Mouse.