Dear Annie: <$>My sister, “Blanche”, just left after another too long visit. Every time she leaves, I discover that photos have been ripped out of albums, my artwork is either missing or destroyed, and other items are gone.When I confront her, Blanche lies, plays the victim and tells everyone that I’m persecuting her. She is verbally abusive, and ridicules and gossips about me to others. After she leaves, I feel violated. I’ve been treated for clinical depression because of her visits, and it takes months to recover.

What is wrong with someone who makes a six-figure income and steals from a sibling who is barely scraping by on her meagre retirement? What can I do? — Guests and Fish Smell After Three DaysDear Guests: For starters, you can stop inviting Blanche to stay in your home. You are under no obligation to provide hospitality to someone who abuses it so thoroughly. Blanche seems mentally ill. You should suggest that she seek therapy, and in the meantime, your house should be off-limits to her.

Dear Annie: <$>I usually agree with your advice, and since I don’t seem able to figure out my own problem, I hope you can help.I have two grown sons who currently live in the same city, not far from my town. They do not speak to each other, based on their childhood disagreements. I had always hoped that being grown would solve the problem, but apparently not.

With the holidays approaching, I know one won’t come to my house if the other is coming. Although they know this is painful for me, they don’t seem willing to talk their problems out. I am really tired of trying to mediate and don’t feel I should have to turn my life inside out in order to keep them separate.

How should I handle this? I don’t want to create additional problems between them. Should I just extend the invitation and whoever comes, fine, and if neither shows up, just let it go? I don’t want to pour on the guilt, but neither do I want them to think this doesn’t hurt me. What should I do? — Disappointed MomDear Mom: We say give them one more chance to behave like adults. Invite both your sons and tell them you are doing so. Of course, even if they come, it doesn’t mean the meal will go well, but at least you will be spending the holiday with your children, which is important to you. However, if neither shows up, we strongly urge you not to keep punishing yourself. Next year, make plans to do something else, perhaps with friends, or volunteering at a homeless shelter where you can take your mind off your troubles by helping others get through theirs.

Dear Annie: I am hoping to get the word out about qualified interpreters for the deaf. There is a massive shortage of sign language interpreters, and due to the Americans with Disabilities Act, the need has skyrocketed.In my area, the average cost for an interpreter is between $30 and $50 per hour with a two-hour minimum. I see doctors, lawyers and private businesses trying to convince family members to act as interpreters in order to save money. Sometimes this means deaf people are forced to admit to having STDs, taking drugs and other very private problems in the presence of parents and children.

Please help me encourage businesses that private information should be relayed through a professional, neutral party. To find a local interpreter, log on to the Registry of Interpreters for the Deaf at www.rid.org. Thank you. — Rebecca Madigan, Director, Deaf Community Services, Indianapolis (A Division of Easter Seals Crossroads)Dear Rebecca Madigan: <$>Thank you for bringing this issue to our readers’ attention. We hope anyone looking for interpreters for the deaf will log on to the registry.Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox[AT]comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.