Question: I ran across your website after a Google search of "my child is bored at school". Maybe you can give us some pointers to help our seven-year-old daughter.

I'm confused over what my daughter's issues are. She's extremely bright and a sophisticated thinker and communicator.

On the other hand, she's easily bored, and although she's very popular, she tries to (pardon the expression) "dumb herself down" to socially interact with her classmates so she can have some kind of fun.

But in observing her with her classmates or friends, I've noticed that she gives up because it's just not stimulating. She'd rather go off and play by herself, or with me or her dad, so she can play at her "level". She's too bright, sweet and talented to walk around feeling like she'd be better off with herself or her parents than some friends or classmates.

She does want to be at school as opposed to something like home schooling and extra activities, but she seems so disappointed that school isn't more interesting or challenging, and that her friends are caught up in "he said/she said" stuff instead of some meaningful, stimulating play. Our daughter is just so bored and, I think, lonely, too. We're concerned this will create a negative self-image for her if we don't figure out some way to find connections for her. We just don't know how or where or what. Any ideas? Thank you for your consideration!

Answer: Boring means different things to different children. When children apply boring to school, it can mean lack of challenge, too much challenge, not enough activity, or the pace is too fast or slow. It can even mean: "I'm not the best student anymore, or the teacher doesn't notice me."

Because you've described your child as "extremely bright and a sophisticated thinker", I'm inclined to believe that the curriculum might not be as in-depth or new as it should be to keep her engaged.

A psycho-educational evaluation could help you determine what the boredom in school could mean. It could also help you to understand why your daughter may be bored with friends, although she does crave friendship.

There are also friendship symptoms that could cause boredom for your daughter. For example, chitchat among girls, yes, even seven-year-old girls, may be about fashion or music or television programmes your daughter doesn't watch. It's also possible the girls just don't want to do what she wants to do, and she may prefer to take charge. You could observe her interactions with other girls to determine whether they simply don't share the same interests or your daughter is lacking social skills in getting along with them.

To help your daughter find friends her age or older she needs to do interesting things and then find others who share her interests. For example, American Girl dolls and books are extremely interesting to bright girls who are your daughter's age and older. They involve history, action and imagination, and they keep girls involved for hours. Your daughter might enjoy playing a sport like soccer or taking dance or gymnastics lessons that she can share with friends. Girls her age also often enjoy crafts of various kinds. Joining Girl Scouts could introduce her to much information and activity that she could share with other girls.

Start with checking your daughter's intellectual abilities and observing her social skills so you can help her to put together a whole package for an interesting and exciting childhood.

For free newsletters about keys to parenting the gifted child or developing social skills, send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094, or read other parenting articles at www.sylviarimm.com.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting.

More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, Wisconsin 53094 or srimmsylviarimm.com