"I am just a father who did one painting of one event that wouldn't go away."

So says John Gardner of his thought-provoking painting, 'The Rape and Murder of Rebecca Middleton', which is included in the Bermuda National Gallery's (BNG) Biennial exhibition opening at City Hall next week.

The appalling death of the visiting Canadian teenager 11 years ago resonated with Mr. Gardner. As the devoted father of "two beautiful daughters", he related to other parents of daughters who had undergone similar tragedies.

So, for a decade, the self-described 'intermittent artist' mulled over in his mind an appropriate way to express the full range of feelings and smattering of images associated with the tragedy.

Finally, the long journey has ended with a approximately ten foot by four foot watercolour which took him just two weeks to paint — something which might not have happened had it not been for the impetus provided by the upcoming Biennial exhibition.

Citing its uniqueness in encouraging the work which artists do, Mr. Gardner says his painting is now reality because the Biennial exists, motivates and has value.

"That applies to a number of artists. Mine is not the only piece in the exhibition. It may be for certain people the most poignant work, but that is not the point if it is seen as something of quality in the company of pieces of quality," he says.

Indeed, the BNG states that the Biennial's mission is to encourage artists "to produce work that is important to them, without commercial considerations", and this year's international jurors, Mark Krisco of the Art Institute of Chicago and Franklin Sirmans, curator of modern and contemporary art at the Menil Collection in Houston, Texas are on record as saying their election focused on artists "whose work has led them to a place outside comfortable boundaries — a place that may even seem 'foreign' to them".

"It has been our experience that artists who go out on a limb create art that comes from a place deeper within themselves," they said.

Mr. Gardner would not disagree. In fact, in his artist's statement he says the painting is "part epitaph, part search for meaning, part catharsis, and part reminder, hopefully for a very, very long time".

Referring to Swiss psychologist Hermann Rorschach (of inkblot test fame), he defines the painting's content as "closest to the broad expression of thoughts and feelings". As such, it incorporates a host of contradictory elements, expressions and qualities.

Certainly, viewers expecting to see some sort of readily identifiable portrayal of Miss Middleton and/or her murder will be disappointed. Instead, they will be confronted with a complex and intense combination of silhouettes, symbols and shapes, lines and curves. Black is the predominant colour, but there are also splashes of red, blue and yellow from his palette of primary colours.

Instinctively, the question arises: "How did the artist arrive at this interpretation?"

"The early sketches were more pictorial, but I rejected them; doing that doesn't work," Mr. Gardner says. "The process started as a very small sketch, and the gesture at the bottom of the painting reflects a level of violence. It is not trying to represent any moment in time, but encompasses the whole experience.

"When you look at it you should be able to find beautiful and difficult things, and there are both. There are a few symbolic clues to enable you to appreciate what it is about, but the vast majority of the painting has a life of its own — which, by the way, is what watercolour does as a medium. It ends up drying differently to when it is wet, so you let it go and it goes to places that you cannot control, which probably is appropriate, given that I would like people to bring their own thoughts (to what they see)."

In dealing with such a sensitive subject, the artist was careful not to retraumatise Miss Middleton's family, so he went to "very sensitive and great efforts" to communicate with them on a regular basis before the painting entered the public domain, and they know what it looks like.

"They support the painting and what it represents, and my impression is that they hope in some way it will be another layer of dialogue, attempted in a different medium, that assures Rebecca's memory won't go away, and that somewhere, somehow, hopefully what she experienced will not be repeated for someone else."

In fact, while Rebecca's mother is unable to attend the members' opening next Thursday, her father and a group of his Bermuda friends will be present.

The process of creating Mr. Gardner's vertical painting began with a small sketch which he scanned into his computer, manipulated, and then projected on to the large sheet of paper, adding to the original image before and as the work progressed. Overall, because it was so big it presented many challenges.

"Part of it was scale. You don't see watercolours this big very often, so there were struggles throughout the whole process, including the size of the paper and Plexiglas, and getting it framed. The entire process from first sketch to completion was a month, and I painted it in two weeks. I had to paint it quickly because it took over the house, and that wasn't fair to my family."

Now that the decade of thinking about a concept for his painting, and the work itself, are finally over, Mr. Gardener says he is "drained".

"I don't think I could paint it again. In fact, when I look at it, there are areas that I don't know how or why I painted it. It is a one-off, and I am sure that many other artists here have similar feelings about the power of their work and what they put into it. It is an interesting aspect from an artist's point of view."

He does, however, have a feeling of peacefulness now, but also says there is no sense of ending.

"It is actually the beginning, because the painting has had a life of its own, and hopefully that life will continue to mean something, and enable certain things to happen. I don't know what those things are, but that is where it has some true value."

As to what the public's reaction might be, the artist, who is also a professional architect, says his work is "offered in hope" but also "presented with some anxiety and even fear".

"I have purposely avoided editorializing and judging anybody or anything. I am just presenting a visual expression of thoughts and feelings over an extended period of time. That is why it is indistinct but distinct, dark but light — all those different balances. I am hoping people will see the power of their own thoughts from it. I expect them to be different from my own, and some may be positive or hostile.

"In many respects it is an optimistic painting about a very difficult series of events. To personalise it was very tough. There was no research, no mission, no great agenda. It is just what it is. I am hoping it is received positively, but I am not looking for approval or praise. All I am looking for is discussion, and hopefully optimism and positive change somewhere. Maybe my painting will help in some small way."