wrong will -- is a reality.

Mrs. Renee Barton of Paget came face-to-face with it during a recent vacation in British Columbia where their son Mr. Paul Barton lives.

While there, Mrs. Barton and husband Mr. Ronald Barton had planned to take an Alaskan cruise to avoid the "crush'' of the Commonwealth Games.

But the ship ran aground and the cruise was cancelled.

The Bartons decided to stay in Victoria to take in the local scenery. The next day, visiting the Sooke Potholes for a swim with their grandsons, Mrs. Barton broke her ankle in three places.

"I heard a horrible snap,'' Mrs. Barton 75, said. She spent 16 days in hospital and on her release was taken by her husband for a celebratory ice cream.

Son Paul recalled: "On the first bite, mother felt a snap and found her front tooth crown had broken off completely.'' Yesterday, Mrs. Barton was philosophical about her vacation.

The ankle break was "dreadful at the time,'' she said. "But now looking back on it, it seems funny.

"I had a real 911 rescue,'' she recalled of the Sooke Potholes incident. I was raised up in a basket. The people said if I'd been a few yards further down, they would have had to call in a helicopter to get me out.'' Mrs. Barton still is laid up by the break.

"I'm no spring chicken. I'm 75 but very active,'' she said. "At least until now.'' * * * Part of the fall-out from "the Garton affair'' is the decision by the Bermuda Festival to include the Geoffrey Tankard Choir in its programme this January.

It will be conducted by the man at the centre of the controversy, Mr. Graham Garton, who just won back a work permit after being dumped by the Dunbarton School of Music in May.

The choir sings a capella , specialising in English madrigals, folk songs and what is somewhat vaguely referred to as "light'' songs.

What the public hasn't been told is what had, in the meantime, been chosen as a replacement.

Soprano Marcelle Clamens and tenor Gary Burgess, two Bermudians who have already made their mark on musical circles overseas, had agreed to change their schedules to perform as fill-ins.

Fill-ins, maybe, but what fill-ins! The most popular singing stars to emerge in Bermuda in decades were to have been heard together, in the same concert. A conservative estimate is that this "dream team'' could fill the City Hall every night for a week.

Now they've been told that they will not be required. Well, that's not quite accurate -- they've actually been asked to hold off until the 1996 festival.

* * * A friend tells us that Mr. Robert Kennedy Jr, son of the late Robert F.

Kennedy, visited Bermuda last weekend.

By all reports, Mr. Kennedy enjoyed the Island. But he had one negative encounter with a shopkeeper.

Mr. Kennedy befriended a local girl at Coral Beach Club, who took him into Hamilton on Monday in search of colourful T-shirt he'd seen and liked.

Alas, the shop carrying it was closed. The girl, knowing the proprietor, called to see if he would come into to town to open up. The proprietor, it seems, had been out 'til dawn. No way he was coming in, not for anybody, not even for a Kennedy.

Did you see that picture of a sign in this newspaper yesterday? It was the sign tied up on trees at East Broadway, announcing the Delfonics at the Clayhouse Inn. Thankfully, it disappeared before we could even run the photograph under our "Let's Fix It'' heading.

Perhaps the sponsors of the show were just following the lead set a few weeks ago by Keep Bermuda Beautiful, when it strung up a sign asking people to help it keep the waters around us beautiful.

But we have slipped up. We missed a great picture of a sign at Flatts. It appears that fish at the Government-sponsored Bermuda Aquarium have been baking cakes, package cakes at that.

Fish baking cakes? Now that would be a picture.

Well, maybe not. Maybe the Aquarium just has a new name. Maybe Richard Winchell is baking cakes. Maybe not. Maybe the Aquarium is feeding the angel fish angel food cake. We can be forgiven for thinking they might be. Maybe there is going to be a new brand of fish flavoured cake. How about shark hash sponge cake with lobster-bream frosting? Or Cow Polly cookies with extra sea pudding morsels? Ugh! Yuck! The Aquarium, you see, had a large red and white sign tied to its front saying "Betty Crocker.'' SAFE AT HOME, finally, Mrs. Renee Barton.