Dear Annie: My son was recently married in a small, private ceremony. For some unknown reason, my mother did not want to attend, but eventually, she and my father decided to show up.

The entire time, my mother acted very rudely toward my son, my in-laws and me. We caught her lying, and she tried to blame my mother-in-law. A few days later, she falsely accused us all of various things.

My mother is spiteful and vindictive. Plus, she is a compulsive liar. Since the wedding, I have kept my distance.

However, my father has told other relatives I should not treat my mother this way and should forgive her. Mom has always turned situations like these in her favour. The family will never hear my side of the story because I refuse to play this game.

So how does the truth come out? – Daughter of a Witch

Dear Daughter: We assume other family members are well aware of Mom's personality flaws, and you shouldn't feel you have to defend yourself to them. If they ask about the rift, you can tell them your version of events. It is also possible to forgive your mother while keeping your distance from her emotional abuse, and we recommend it. Frankly, it sounds as if Mom may be suffering from some type of mental illness, and you might encourage her to see a doctor for professional help.

Dear Annie: I have been married to my high-school sweetheart for three years, and we have a beautiful little girl. The "other person" in our relationship is his PlayStation 2.

My husband has played these annoying video games since I met him. He will tie up the TV all evening and doesn't spend any time with his family. I want him to grow up.

We have discussed this problem several times, and he will stop for a while, but then start right back up again. We even purchased a second TV for him to play on, but it doesn't change the amount of time he spends with the baby. We have planned family nights, but they never happen. How can I get him to stop? – Video Widow

Dear Video Widow: It's time to put your foot down. Video games can be highly addictive, especially the online variety. Explain to your husband that he doesn't seem to have the self-control to turn off the game as promised, so you want him to pick a specific period of time every day when you will unplug it. That will be your family time, and you expect him to honor it. We hope it helps.

Dear Annie: Your advice to "Life's a Beach" was way off base. Every summer, she has to put up with his many relatives visiting. You said she can't do anything if her husband keeps telling the relatives they are welcome, and that she should make her own plans. Excuse me? She is supposed to leave her own home?

I don't think so. It's high time she invoked her homeowner's right to tell these people "no". What gives her husband the right to ignore her wishes and capitulate to these spongers? She'll eventually resent him for it.

Please tell her to contact the relatives herself and tell them tactfully, "Sorry, but no." Someone has to have a backbone here, or ulcers will follow. – CM

Dear CM: And he'll want to know what right she has to prevent him from allowing his family to visit, and will eventually resent her for it. Sometimes, husbands and wives are at odds and neither side is completely right or wrong.

Compromise is best, but when that doesn't happen, it is unrealistic to think you can control someone else's behavior. If she cannot tolerate his relatives and he refuses to tell them "no", she should set aside some time for herself, wherever that may be.

Dear Annie: My brother's girlfriend recently became pregnant. The problem is my mother. When I was pregnant with my two-year-old son, I had no contact with my family, partly because my mother dislikes my husband. When my husband and I separated for a couple of months, Mom was very supportive.

However, when I told her we were getting back together, she said she hates how I behave when I am with him. We've been married four years. By the time my son was six months old, I thought things had been straightened out.

Apparently not. My mother is ecstatic about my brother's child, but doesn't seem to care about mine. She made some comments on a social networking site that implied our poor relationship is all my fault.

I am not going to leave the father of my child and a man I am ecstatically in love with because my mother doesn't like him. Is there any hope of patching things up, or should I be content that my mother-in-law treats me like her own daughter? – Sad in the Midwest

Dear Sad: There is always hope for a better relationship, but a great deal will depend on Mom's willingness to accept your marriage, at least minimally, and how much you can tolerate. Mom doesn't have to like your husband, but you must insist she respect your marriage, and it will help if you stand firm so she sees that her behaviour will not drive a wedge between you.

You also can make plans to see your mother at times other than family gatherings, when your husband would be present. But if she chooses to distance herself, there is not much you can do. Be grateful that your mother-in-law appreciates the woman you are.

Dear Annie: I'm in college and am living at home. A good friend and I are planning to move into an apartment together in the fall. The problem is, a few months ago, "Karen" bought a puppy. I've never really liked dogs, and she's aware of this. Most people find the puppy endearing, but he annoys me. On top of that, I suspect I am allergic, because every time I'm near the dog, I sneeze uncontrollably and my eyes itch.

I thought her parents would keep the dog once she moved out, but they won't. I still want Karen to be my roommate, but I don't want to share space with her dog. What should I do? – Sick as a Dog

Dear Sick: It is possible to develop a fondness for a puppy, and there is medication that can help somewhat with your allergic reaction. But you have to decide whether you are willing to do both in order to live with Karen, because she is unlikely to give up the puppy for you.

She might, however, value the arrangement enough to ask her parents to reconsider keeping the dog. Explain the problem to Karen, and if you cannot find a solution, at least you will know in time to make alternate plans.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 West Century Boulevard, Suite 700, Los Angeles, California 90045.