A tragedy has has ended up giving hope to a prisoner - after friends of a man killed in a boating accident banded together to create a scholarship whose first recipient is pursuing his dream of becoming an air conditioner repairman.

Chris Ray says the scholarship - which he received six months ago while he was still an inmate at the Prison Farm - has changed his life.

Now living at the Transitional Living Centre, Mr. Ray said he was grateful for this chance to turn his life around.

It was while he was living at the Prison Farm that Mr. Ray asked the Westgate Educational Officer what he could do about going to college.

With her help, he applied and was admitted to the two-year Heating/Ventilation/Air-conditioning course at the College. However Mr. Ray still had to find funding for his education.

“I had made a request to the National Training Board for funding,” he said. “But unfortunately, to this day I have not received any reply - even to deny it.

“At the time I was totally devastated. I was not sure if I would be able to attend college.”

Then Mr. Ray saw an ad in the paper for an air-conditioning scholarship. With the education officer's help he filled out an application form - and soon received the letter from William Cox stating he was the first recipient of the Douglas C. Anfossi Scholarship.

“You had to maintain a B or higher average at the Bermuda College,” Mr. Cox said. “He more than maintained that. Chris was by far the most deserving. I think it's pretty admirable.”

Mr. Anfossi, previously of Air Care, drowned two years ago when he fell off the boat he lived on, said Mr. Cox. Every year the scholarship fund holds a 10K walk fundraiser, with part of the proceeds going towards the Bermuda Diabetic Association, and part towards the scholarship fund.

“He loved mechanical stuff,” said Mr. Cox. “This is giving Bermudians the opportunity to get into the field with financial support.”

Without it, Mr. Ray doubted he would have been able to continue his education on leaving Westgate.

“Before coming to prison I was leading a life that was not suited for any mother's child,” he admitted. “The life I'm referring to was one of drugs and crime. My life became unmanageable, I became a social outcast.

“In retrospect I have recognised that one of my fears in life is the fear of failure. Another is the fear of success, by which I mean simply mean that with success comes responsibility and I was afraid to deal with any responsibility for fear I would fail. It was an easy excuse for me to use to justify my anti-social failure. But in the end it landed me in prison.”

Mr. Ray spent 13 months at Westgate on a breaking and entering conviction.

“I told myself instead of wishing I had done things differently in my past, I would simply do things differently in my present and future,” he said. “I was tired of wasting my God-given talents. I was hurting a lot of people, but most of all I was hurting myself.”

Before going to prison, his then-girlfriend told Mr. Ray he was to become a father. While Mr. Ray at first welcomed the news, he admitted he later ran from his responsibilities.

“I myself grew up not having a relationship with my father,” he said. “I became afraid that I, too, would fail as a father. But I can see now and honestly say that this was just an excuse for my own self-destructive activity.

“I have done many things in my past that I am not proud of,” he continued. “But I have chosen to leave those things in my past and move forward with my life. Through my classes while incarcerated I have equipped myself with the tools necessary to deal with situations as they arise and in most cases to avoid them altogether.

“Fortunately I have excellent lecturers that have made this learning experience very challenging and comfortable,” he said. “My classmates have also helped me out. We have created friendly competition between ourselves and help each other out in our not-so-strong points by quizzing each other during practical classes.

“I study as much as I can here (at the Transitional Living Centre) and during the commute (from the Living Centre in Dockyard to the College) on the bus.

“I owe it to myself, my daughter, my family and the community to remain positive and become an upstanding member of society once again.”

Mr. Ray has set himself high goals once he is released, including running for student government president and owning his own general maintenance business.

“I want to be able to do it all,” he said, adding that he could fix, build or clean anything. “This is actually a childhood dream of mine but I believe with patience and perseverance it can be achieved.”

And what advice did he have for other in a position similar to his?

“Stop blaming the white man, your family, the Government and yourself. If you want to change the way you are living you must first stop, then turn it around.”