"Internship is always the worst year of your life. That is when you realise the gravity of the responsibility that is given to you, and that's what makes it so tough. You are teaching as well as being taught. You are thinking and acting on your feet, and dealing with all sorts of situations. But you have a lot of support from your colleagues because competitiveness is no longer a part of your life. Instead, you learn total teamwork, and that is the key to success.'' A child she might have been, but Cindy Morris had very grown-up ideas about what she wanted to be in life: a doctor.

Her years at Central School and Berkeley Institute, where science and biology were her favourite subjects, helped solidified that goal -- as did service as a Candy Striper at the King Edward Hospital.

And then there was the good old "roots'' factor.

"I wanted to be able to buy a house in Bermuda, so the only thing that would make it possible was to go into medicine,'' she admitted.

Although her grandfather was a lawyer, and an uncle was a professor of African History at Penn State University, Cindy's parents were a mechanic and tailoress respectively. She knew that to become the first doctor in her family would take years of study and hard, hard work -- with no silver spoon to feed her.

But, like all super achievers, Cindy Morris was possessed of a bottomless well of determination. No matter what it took, she told herself, she would succeed.

Thus it was that, in the course of her long studies both here and abroad, Dr.

Morris willingly supplemented her Government scholarships with stints at the Bermuda Provident Bank, Transport Control Department, and Hamilton Health Centre laboratory.

"Everything was a learning experience,'' she said of those days. "The Bank taught me about money. Bookkeeping, typing, computer knowledge -- they are all essential skills in today's world.'' Always among the top ten students of any class she was in, Cindy Morris began her most serious studies at the Bermuda College, where she completed the university transfer programme with A levels in mathematics, biology and physics.

In 1979 she entered the foundation year programme at University of King's College in Halifax, Nova Scotia, studying world civilisation and its philosophies.

Over the next two years, she would major in biology as part of her arts and science degree, and also study at nearby Dalhousie University before graduating in 1981 as a Bachelor of Science.

Howard University's Medical School would have to wait until August, 1982 while she built up funds in the local workplace.

Describing her early days at Howard, Dr. Morris said the going was definitely "tough''.

"You know how the Army says, `You can be all that you want to be'? Well, that applies to medical training as well, because you are stretched to your very limits.'' If the first two years in the classroom, with its civilised hours, lulled the budding doctor into a false sense of security, the next two would really give her a graphic taste of the real medical world.

"That's when you realise what it's like to be a doctor!'' she said with a rueful smile. "Even though you are a student, you are incorporated into the medical team with graduate residents. You are involved in the smaller duties of patient care, and you are there from 7 a.m. one day to 3 p.m. the next.

"One of the survival tactics is learning how to grab cat naps which are refreshing. The fact that everyone around you is going through the same thing gave you physiological support. We helped each other get through life!'' Graduating with her M.D. from Howard in 1986, Dr. Morris began her internship at Cook County, a teaching hospital in Chicago, Illinois. Here she would hone her skills in a wide variety of fields -- surgery, emergency, paediatrics, obstetrics, urology, radiology, internal medicine and burns among them.

"Internship is always the worst year of your life. That is when you realise the gravity of the responsibility that is given to you, and that's what makes it so tough,'' the soft-spoken Bermudian noted. "You are teaching as well as being taught. You are thinking and acting on your feet, and dealing with all sorts of situations.

"But you have a lot of support from your colleagues because competitiveness is no longer a part of your life. Instead, you learn total teamwork, and that is the key to success.'' Morality was another factor -- if a good, final evaluation was to be achieved.

"Moral character is an integral part of the evaluation process for a blooming physician,'' Dr. Morris explained. "This is because you are in a profession which has traditionally been held in high esteem. As a doctor, you automatically become a leader in your community, so you need to set a good example and be of high moral character.'' It was during this crucial year that Dr. Morris also decided to become a specialist in anaesthesiology.

"It suited my personality, and you are dealing with patients one at a time.

You put people out of their pain -- that's what I really like.

"In addition, you are using every scientific discipline that you have learned, and putting into action all the physics, biology, biochemistry, manual dexterity, and public relations knowledge you have acquired.'' Dr. Morris also enjoys the "instant gratification'' of seeing the results of her manipulations, although she admits these can be "good or bad,'' because today's drugs are so potent and fast-acting.

"It can be very tricky,'' she admitted. "It becomes a real challenge to tailor the drugs to each patient. The satisfaction comes out of having a patient wake up with minimal negative effects to their body.'' Indeed, the anaesthesiologist's job may be likened to a pilot's: it requires extraordinary training and skill -- and a very cool head.

"We are the people who sustain life while the surgeon concentrates on the body part that he or she is operating on,'' Dr. Morris noted. "There is no time to panic, ever. You have to think and act quickly because your patient's life is in your hands.'' Asked to define the qualities most important to her specialty, Dr. Morris responded: "You must be a good planner, with several contingency plans in mind, and you must also be flexible in your methods. Not every situation is a text book case. In fact, the motto for anaesthesiologists is Vigilance.

"Neither are you always in the operating room; you also work very closely with intensive care patients. In some hospitals -- like Bermuda -- anaesthesiologists are the primary physicians in intensive care units.'' If there is any regret in her career, it is that she does not get to build up as much rapport with patients and their families as she would like. Like everyone else, Dr. Morris knows that patients facing surgery, as well as their families, are filled with apprehension.

So she likes to use her average 30-minute pre-op visit not only to explain the procedures she will be adopting, but also to discuss anaesthetic choices, answer patients' questions and generally reassure them.

Today, Dr. Morris boasts an impressive list of credentials in her chosen field.

She claims not only to be the first born Bermudian to become an anaesthesiologist, but also the first Bermudian to be certified as a consultant anaesthesiologist by the American Board of Anaesthesiologists.

At Cook County Hospital, Dr. Morris is attending physician in the Anaesthesiology Department and acting director of the Same Day Surgery unit.

At the University of Illinois, she is an associate clinical professor, training resident physicians in all aspects of anaesthesiology.

With an eye to the future, she is also learning from the senior members of her department at Cook County the skills necessary to run a sub-division of a hospital.

"There are so many things which go into preparation of a professional. It takes many years, each of which brings a new challenge,'' Dr. Morris said.

"Once you are willing to learn knew skills there are always new things to learn so you never get bored.'' Asked what the future holds for her, the ambitious specialist responded: "I don't know. The options are so wide open for me ... First, I would like to complete my accomplishments at Cook, and from there on: Quo Fata Ferunt!'' She did, however, have a special message for young Bermudians with dreams similar to her own.

"Don't keep your dream to yourself. Let as many people as possible know what you want to do. Keep good grades while enjoying life. Don't do drugs so you can keep your mind sharp. Keep God beside you and obey him when he speaks.

Respect your elders. Never forget the people who help you, and give back something important to the community.'' SLEEPY-TIME GAL! -- Bermudian consultant anaesthesiologist Dr. Cindy Morris enjoys a break from her busy career in Chicago, Illinois, where she is an attending physician and acting unit director at Cook County Hospital, as well as associate clinical professor of anaesthesiology at the University of Illinois.