affair.

The show was billed as the "Queens of Comedy'', and featured two ladies who this reviewer had never heard of before Saturday night. Well, I know them now, and I'm sure I'll remember them for quite a while.

The 11 p.m. show brought out a modest crowd of devoted comedy fiends (fans), and then doused us with hilarity! Perhaps -- no, not perhaps -- indubitably the weakest part of the show was the opening act. Not because he wasn't funny -- the guy was absolutely hilarious, and that was the problem.

You see, Mr. Nick Johnson is not a comedian, he's a singer, and not a bad one, but the sheer idiocy of opening a comedy show with a karaoke singer was too much for many of us to handle.

We laughed at the poor guy far too much, and we were far too rude. And Nick didn't deserve to be showered with abuse from the other comedians for the rest of the night just because he chose to wear a sparkly red vest for his act. .. but he did. And we should all be ashamed... (hee-hee-hee).

The next act should have been the first (but for politics), because Eddie Boo was funny -- and that's what you want from a comedy show.

Eddie came on playing drunk and started the laughter by doing little more than standing behind the mic and swaying ever so gently. He continued to pull laughs out of us with very little effort, like a wily old magician for the rest of his set. Many of his jokes were simple, but his delivery and charisma made them work.

His material ranged from mild to downright raunchy -- he described Choy Aming as "The little Myagi-lookin' guy'' (you remember; the guy from "Karate Kid''. I'm so sorry Choy, I just had to say that).

Eddie stayed on for about half an hour and kept our attention with the greatest of ease, displaying a quality that we have all come to expect from Platinum Plus. And the Queens hadn't even graced the stage yet.

Nicki Carr was the first Queen to arrive on the scene. She came representin' the big woman, armed with jokes galore and the impregnable ability to laugh out loud at herself.

Her Queendom was tight because she spoke the truth and made us realise just how funny that illusive thing can be (the truth, that is).

Nicki blessed us with a voice of pure molasses when she broke into her medley of very amusing food songs -- my favourite being the remake of the reggae classic "Sorry'', which became "Curry'' in Miss Carr's magnificent mind.

That was some funny stuff.

During her ample set, Nicki revealed just how much she loved our beautiful Island home, the things she liked about men, whey she thought big women had to wear their size and that she will never eat an entire pie again, and why! She handled us with care and exuded a loving aura as she moved around the stage making us laugh with every turn, and before she left our consciousness, she proved to be a Queen worthy of high praise.

And then there was the Queen who would sooner be the royal jester. Leslie Jones jumped onto the stage with a swirl of energy and proceeded to tear up the place like a tornado.

She ripped up the club from top to bottom, ragging on every bit of tacky scenery she could find -- you've all been to Clayhouse, you know the deal -- and then proceeded to bounce her long frame around the stage like some sort of hyper-slinky sliding down some very steep steps -- this girl was energetic.

Her material was more or less relationship humour, but her delivery was devastating. Especially when she came into the crowd and interrogated a few unsuspecting ladies about a certain issue that will remain unnamed.

Leslie was aggressive, untamed and raw -- all the things we tend to love in Queens -- and by the end of the show we all wanted to bow at her feet. Just like Nicki before her, Leslie came, saw and conquered (well, I know I'd follow her into battle... anytime.) Shawn Miller was a solid host again, and he didn't even rag on me this time.

Life is good sometimes, but we will miss the comedy for a while. See, Platinum Plus is taking a break in January while Shawn tours the US, but they should be back in February with a "Best-Of'' show.

I know the voting didn't go like this, but yo, Shawn, you've got to bring back Tony Woods. And for the rest of you `byes', let's get out there and support these comedy entrepreneurs please. They're doing this for your own good.

See ya in the next Millennium.

Vejay Steede ENTERTAINMENT ENTERTAINERS ENT