who once served as the backbone in wedding preparation -- the aunt, the grandmother and the mother -- from the home into the workforce. And with many brides-to-be already inundated with the demands of a hectic work and/or social schedule, more and more are seeking professional help to ensure that the event pass without a hitch. According to Shelly Hamill of Bermuda Wedding Associates, while firms such as hers can remove all stress in wedding preparation, if proper plans are laid and adhered to, the old-fashioned method can still work for those who opt to take that route. "Book early!'' she stressed. "The longer you wait in Bermuda, the less choices (in church, reception venue, caterers etc.) you will have. You should not necessarily take the first person you meet but it allows you time to find the vendor which best suits your needs. There are some people, I know, who have already booked for 1997 and 1998. That's not to say that you need a really long engagement, there are a lot of good vendors in Bermuda, but there is more choice and opportunity if you book early.'' Lists are also important, said Mrs. Hamill, as they allow one to keep track of what has and what has not been organised. "I strongly suggest that people make lots of lists and refer back to them often. I typically try and get things done as soon as possible. If you take care of a lot of the preparation at the beginning, you'll have time to add ideas. Things do go wrong and if you are prepared, you will be able to settle your attention on any minor problems that come along.'' One practice not thought of by many but which, if done, can really add to the ceremony she said, is if the couple takes the time to get to know the person officiating at the wedding.

"I'm not a very religious person but I recommend that you take the opportunity to meet in advance with your reverend, minister or priest and take the opportunity to get to know them,'' she advised. "That way you will have a more intimate and meaningful ceremony and your guests will enjoy it that much more as well.'' Her most-often asked questions involve queries regarding the actual wedding invitation, said Mrs. Hamill, with many couples unsure what to do when one set of parents does not share the same surname, is divorced or deceased.

"Most of the questions I get are regarding the wording of the invitation.

They want to know `If your parents have split up, what names do you put on the invitation?' Or maybe their parents aren't paying for the ceremony and/or reception; do their names still go on the invitation?' "I typically tell people that these are the '90s and Emily Post is great, but she doesn't always completely apply. What I tell them is that it's truly about making sure you include the right names; that whatever you and your family feel comfortable with will apply. However the invitation does set the style and theme of the event and it's important to spend time thinking about it.'' Other pointers to keep in mind: In the United States, they recommend that if you are on a budget, try and book on Friday or Thursday as Saturday is the most popular and they believe vendors give discounts for less popular days. This is not true in Bermuda.

Trends, to some degree are changing. There are a lot of couples who first live together or who are waiting until they are older to marry. Consequently, they already have a lot of things.

"What I recommend for Bermuda, is that you register something at each store as the sentiment I find, is that not everyone shops at every store. I also recommend looking outside the typical registry. Look into the new section at Gibbons Co, at travel agencies which now offer honeymoon specials and loan companies today will accept contributions towards the down payment on a house.

Bermudians entertain quite a lot more than most and probably use their china a lot but if not, perhaps a more useful gift might be better.'' Tommy and Julia Horseman 1956 Marguerite and John Pye 1942 Alfred and Sylvia Eve 1949