Joe DeSilva is a Bermudian musician who fell prey to the vicious cycle of substance abuse: cocaine when he could afford it, rum when he could not.

"There was a time in my life when I couldn't go a minute without something to take,'' he recalled.

The following is extracted from a conversation Mr. DeSilva had with Judith Burgess on a half-hour television programme, the Joy of Recovery, sponsored by The Council Partners Charitable Trust show in Bermuda March, 2000.

Question: Can you tell us about your most desperate moment? Response: "There was a time in my addiction when I reached the bottom. That's when I received what I call `the gift of desperation'. I was on a binge, involved with a lot of rum and cocaine. It took me to a point where there wasn't a minute to the day when I didn't have some sort of substance in my system to be able to go through the day.

"At that time, I was being evicted, the landlord was at my door, trying to get me out of my apartment. Everything in my life was gone. There was nothing left. I was jobless and homeless. The money I had was down to a few cents lying around the house.

"So I went out and bought four bottles of rubbing alcohol and sat up and had a party all by myself, all alone, no telephone, no one around. I drank the rubbing alcohol and it comastised me. I laid there for three days and it really took me to the edge of the grave.

"I learned you have to surrender, which leads to acceptance. so many things have been restored to me in recovery. Before, because of the distorted thinking that comes with drugs and alcohol, I was on my own so much, but lately, I have been able to share some time with all kinds of wonderful people, like the council Partners' people.'' Question: It's important to you to give back to the community, isn't it? Response: "I think that it's the only way I can keep what I have: to give back to the community that helped me. Giving provides a reward. Now, thanks to the help of others, I'm able to maintain an apartment, pay my bills and run a little business. But to share with another human being the joy within, that's the biggest gift of all.'' Question: Is there anything you'd like to say to encourage someone who might be in need? Response: "Yes, I would say: Please do not wait until everything is completely gone. It took me 48 years to get into recovery. I missed so much of the lives of my family, my kids, but that area of my life is slowly being restored to me.

"It's beyond my wildest dreams, the things that are happening in my life today, so I encourage you to take the first step. Reach out, get help. There's so much support here in Bermuda. I didn't realise that.'' DRUGS DGS