Men, Money and Work

It is appropriate that on the eve of a major war, where in the conventional sense, mostly men will still be laying their lives on the line for Uncle Sam, that we should write about men.

Any gentlemen reading these words, will chuckle because they know, and I know that they know, that women haven't a clue about what men want. Therefore, why would I be so presumptuous to think that any content herein could possibly be accurate? Ah, but men do like to talk (and write about it), as much as woman, in fact. So here in their own words is how men feel about money, work and some related aspects of their lives.

The Age of Abandonment

One of the most interesting questions that I like to ask a male client is, 'As a young man, did you ever stop to think that you would be working for the rest of your life?"

Forget the high profile talk about careers, fulfilment, and ego satisfaction; the reality is that the dependable mature man will go to work starting anywhere from age 12 onwards and will work, gainfully it is hoped, for the rest of his life. It is no wonder that boys play with total abandonment; subliminally, they know this is their only true time of total freedom.

Men Tend To Be Extremely Hard On Themselves

Men define themselves by their jobs, their work, and their professions. A recent study UK study found that fathers, mothers, and teenage children are overwhelmingly convinced that the main contribution men can make to their families is providing an income.

Where Men stressed the financial rewards and the compulsion to work out of a sense of duty, women were more likely to link work to personal freedom and choice. Those men who brought home lesser wages, who had been seriously ill or unemployed voiced feelings of frustration and sadness about their supposed 'failure' to be a good-enough provider. One unemployed man said: "I am no use to anyone, I can't provide."

Many Men Admit That They Are Confused

If they have been raised to show love and respect by providing financial support, and their spouse/partner does not need it because she has a career, what is he worth? How does he define himself? When men and women argue about finances, it's not about the money. It's really about respect, control, security, self-esteem, and love.

Retirement and Life Insurance.

Men hate to buy life insurance, women buy it for them. Men truly resent the fact that so many will die away long before their female life-partner, which also explains the aversion to life insurance. Today, on average a man may live to his 79th birthday, yet many will pass during the silent killer decade - in their 40s. Those men who survive until their mid-60s have almost the same statistical longevity chance to survive well into their late 80s as women.

Faced with a long life, however, men have trouble adapting to retirement, particularly without a life partner. Indeed, most do not want to think of it or plan for it even though anticipating and planning for lifestyle changes early in a career may mean a seamless transition into another stress-free rewarding life phase.

Most Men Hate To Ask For Directions

... truly believing that they can find the way. Men are much better investors than women, but their tendency to overtrade through overconfidence or aggressiveness negates returns in the short run. When total investment returns are compared, men versus women, men's results are only marginally better. However, because men are willing to take on more capital market risk (probably because they feel they have no choice), their pensions are generally far larger by a ratio of more than three to one.

Men Do Have

Sincere Priorities

While it is true that typically men's incomes may increase after a divorce, they very often feel that they have been left with most of the financial burdens and little of the family life. Today, young men are in no hurry to take that walk down the aisle, precisely because they fear (in study after study) that they may be decimated in a later divorce, not exactly an overwhelming endorsement for the marriage game. Statistics are high in Bermuda; the average marriage span before filing for divorce is between four and eight years.

Yet when men are asked to state their life and financial goals in order of priority importance: at the top is maintaining good health, then keeping a family financially secure, having spiritual fulfilment and lastly financial independence.

Men Can Be

So Courageous

Any man who has chosen to be the primary care giver to home, hearth and children knows what it is like to still have a 'slight stigma' attached, as in "what exactly is it you do for a living?" Why shouldn't the best spouse for the job stay at home? Children don't care. More than just a "few good men" do it all; they are the sole protectors, heroes, mentors, arbitrators, and support to many more than just their immediate families.

Men Only Need

Three Pairs of Shoes

You never see a man obsessing about shoes the way we ladies do, although certain brands and subtle cut of style are very important. After all, why would they, to us it appears that men's shoes seem to come in only two colours and three styles? Maybe we shoe collectors could learn something from the "less shoes are better philosophy". The average US woman between ages 20 and 35 will purchase more than 30 pairs of shoes before she saves $30,000.

Yes, men and women learn differently; invest differently; think differently; care differently; work and innovate differently. We are amazingly different, but we need each other; yes, even in the era of human cloning,

All of these differences between men and women, when combined produce powerful relationships, a diverse workforce, and stronger community. We are truly distinguished by our differences.

@EDITRULE:

Martha Harris Myron CPA CFP is a Bermudian and a Certified Financial Planner practitioner (US licence). She holds a NASD Series 7 licence and is VP, Personal Financial Services, Bank of Bermuda. Martha Myron answers specific investment or financial planning questions. Send them to the Editor, Royal Gazette or e-mail to marthamyronnorthrock.bm. Identities can be protected if requested.

The article expresses the opinion of the author alone, and not necessarily that of Bank of Bermuda. Under no circumstances is this advice to be taken as a recommendation to buy or sell investment products or as a promotion for financial plans.