family value of all. You can take, but you give too.'' That statement is from British Labour Party leader Tony Blair, speaking at the Commonwealth Press Union Conference in Cape Town, South Africa.

That is a very dynamic concept, especially when it is applied to Bermuda. It seems to us that in Bermuda there are a great many people who spend large amounts of their private time giving back to Bermuda only to have their lives disrupted by the few who take every advantage but no responsibility and give little or nothing to Bermuda but grief. The people who do little but take range from the false political prophets and those who would settle scores to the criminals who prey on visitors.

"The language of getting has replaced the language of giving. Do-gooding has become a term of abuse, as if to help others is somehow a weakness when in truth it is a strength. We are growing immune to wrong doing. As a society, we have lost our capacity to be outraged when our elderly are treated with disrespect, or our young neglected.'' Mr. Blair knows what we all know but too often put aside. After a while people become hardened to unpleasant events and begin to attribute them to "today's world'' or "the times we live in'' or some such. That is easier on the conscience than seeking solutions. Thus the false prophets and the criminals thrive and the rest of society moves into its bunkers.

"It is in the family that we learn the difference between right and wrong.

But are those lessons taught as strictly as they used to be? It is in the family that we are taught basic good manners. But do we witness the basic courtesies as much as we did? It is in the family that we learn there are limits to what we can do, and that our actions have consequences for others, not just ourselves. ... It is within the family that we learn the importance of mutual support, and that self-respect must be matched by respect for others.'' That sounds idealistic but it is much the same as the message being delivered to America by President Bill Clinton who based his successful campaign on family values and it is a message that Bermuda needs to learn.

Mr. Blair says: "The values of a decent society are the values of a strong family unit...Politicians should be addressing these issues not because we want to preach or moralise about private lives -- we are the last people to be doing that -- but because it should be the job of any government to strengthen and nurture families, and to include in the assessment of any policies the impact that they will have upon the family.''