Private: “My girlfriend's been pregnant.”

Commanding Officer: “When is the baby due?”

Private: “I don't know.”

Commanding Officer: “Well, how many months pregnant is she?”

Private: “I don't know, 12 or 13.”

This, believe it or not, is but one of the many bizarre excuses offered to Commanding Officer Lt. Col. Edward Lamb by recruits brought before him for having failed to answer the call to duty during the Bermuda Regiment's recent embodiment following Hurricane Fabian.

“I have no recollection of a hurricane,” said another.

By his own admission a once-reluctant recruit himself, and a family man with children, Colonel Lamb is not without compassion in cases of genuine hardship, but as someone who believes so passionately in serving his country, he has no sympathy for malingerers with bad attitudes. So when shirkers who wind up in his office facing the full maw of military discipline come up with daft excuses for ducking their responsibilities, they can expect the teeth to be very sharp indeed.

For if there is one plank in the army platform that is all-important, it is what Col. Lamb calls ‘cap badge pride'.

“We have to have some sense of national pride in this country,” he says. “We try to instil in soldiers ‘cap badge pride', meaning pride in one's regiment. A strong sense of cap badge pride can be translated into a strong sense of national pride because the Bermuda Regiment serves Bermuda and Bermudians.

“That means trying to link embodiment as part of our regimental culture with a strong sense of giving to one's country, particularly during Hurricane Fabian. That is what service in the Bermuda Regiment is all about: service to one's mother and father, neighbour, employer, children, friends. In short, serving our fellow citizens.”

In fact, Col. Lamb is making the development of a strong sense of national identity among the soldiers under his command a priority during his tenure.

“When the Regiment has a sense of pride and service to others then we can function as a more disciplined, organised unit,” he says. “What we do, we do extremely well, but there are some soldiers and malingerers who question the need for the Bermuda Regiment and the conscript process, where we force young men to serve. The reality is that the Regiment is in existence to serve our country, as was borne out by its need during Fabian. What we accomplished in seven days is nothing short of phenomenal, and some of those people were first-year soldiers.”

Given this philosophy, it is not hard to understand why Col. Lamb was clearly upset recently when a group of soldiers who shirked embodiment during Fabian were not dealt with more severely by Magistrates' Court, for he wanted a strong message to be sent. Instead, as far as the public knew, all but one (who was jailed) “got off” with a slap on the wrist (along with some jocular comments from the presiding magistrate).

The truth, however, is very different. It is not generally realised that when the Regiment is in camp or embodied, the commanding officer has the power to impose custodial sentences on those who transgress, so following their downtown appearance, the men were taken straight to the regimental police guard room at Warwick Camp, where they are currently serving a 28-day sentence, literally at hard labour.

Indeed, some would consider life at Westgate luxurious by comparison.

The regimental police guard room is minimalism at its most extreme, and certainly no place to which anyone would want to return. Clean and neat it is, but also stark and claustrophobic.

Once past “reception” and through the main iron-barred door, a narrow, concrete passageway separates two facing rows of cells whose doors are grilled and barred. The concrete block walls and floors are painted, but there are no windows anywhere, no natural light, no television and no privacy. Some cells have one metal cot, and others two, each with a bare, waterproof mattress and pillow. A lone ceiling light illuminates each cell plus the central areas, all of which are controlled from a central switch. Painted footprints on cell floors and in the passageway indicate where offenders must stand to attention when required. The communal ablutions room is equally basic, offering a shower, toilet, urinal and washbasin, but no privacy, natural light or ventilation.

“It is hot in summer and cold in winter,” a regimental policeman says of the little army prison.

Inmates keep the cell block clean and tidy, with unsmiling guards a constant reminder that they are under army discipline. They wear bright orange prison overalls at all times which, along with their underclothing, they must launder themselves. Basic toiletries are either supplied by their families (and inspected) or purchased from Regiment stores. The Regiment will keep mothers appraised of the soldiers' well-being, and supervised, private visits are possible between 21.00 and 21.30 hours by previous arrangement, but “drop-ins” are taboo.

The prisoners' day begins at 06.00 hours with ablutions under escort. They then receive the first of three hot, balanced meals before spending their rest of the day doing whatever manual labour is required. Captain Herman Eve, the Quartermaster, is in charge of detailing the work. Currently, this means cleaning up all of the hurricane damage at Warwick Camp. Wearing overalls and, except for a lunch break, working continuously in the heat until dusk is no picnic, nor is it meant to be. The soldiers are returned to their cells after dinner, where their only recreation is reading or writing mail until lights out at 22.00 hours.

While the life of a Regiment prisoner is spartan, Col. Lamb insists it is by no means inhumane.

Nonetheless, during our visit it was clear that the smiles had been effectively wiped from the young men's faces as they stood to sweating, sullen attention in the sunshine awaiting orders. Asked whether he had learned his lesson, one soldier tantalisingly close to the end of his compulsory service, sidestepped the question.

“I just want to finish my time and get out,” he muttered.

It is also not realised that, when men are incarcerated at Warwick Camp, other Regiment members who are not on the permanent staff have to take time away from their civilian jobs and families on a rotating basis to guard and cook for the prisoners.

For those who think that the Regiment's punishment system is heavy-handed or unnecessary, Col. Lamb is pleased to set the record straight.

What is not generally realised by the public is that by the time transgressors reach the commanding officer's office, it is the last stop in a long and careful line of processing by officers, each step of which has been aimed at trying to get the young man or woman to accept responsibility for his or her actions and mend their ways.

From the platoon sergeant to the platoon commander, company commander and beyond, each soldier will have had their problems listened to, and received many hours of counselling.

“The army is big on salvaging people, not writing them off as useless or unsalvageable,” Col. Lamb says. “The key is getting them to understand right from wrong.”

Speaking of what might be called ‘the conversion process', Regimental Sergeant Major Sherwyn Richardson, the warrant officer responsible for discipline, says the first thing he wants to know when a soldier comes before him is why he is there. Very often, it seems, the offender has no clue, but believes instead that it is through someone else's fault. It then falls to the RSM to strip away the excuses, get the recruit to understand and accept that he or she is responsible for their actions, and show him or her how to make better choices.

“We find that our advice does reach them eventually, and usually after they have finished their army service,” the RSM says. “You get guys five years later saying, ‘Now I finally realise that what you were telling me is right'.”

Soldiers who end up in Magistrate's Court, including habitual absentees, are there as a last resort because they have exhausted the disciplinary process and chosen instead to ignore all of the army's advice. It is also where the Colonel hopes a custodial sentence will be imposed.

“It is not as if these soldiers have not been treated with honour, dignity and compassion,” he says, “but we are very disciplined and strict. Invariably they make wrong choices because they lack depth of character.”

Indeed, in dealing with recruits, the army fulfils a number of roles.

“I tell soldiers I am a ‘lifeologist' up here,” Col. Lamb says. “We are god parents, uncles, teachers, big brothers, counsellors, fathers, psychologists ...students of life.”

Indeed, the Regiment is not all about barking orders, saluting, and jumping to attention. It is about creating disciplined men and better citizens.

“In order for us to function effectively, we have to be disciplined and well organised,” the commanding officer says. “Invariably, some of those who resist coming into the Regiment have not had any discipline in their lives. For their first 18 years they have grown up without fathers or male role models to guide them. They have no sense of responsibility to themselves or anyone else. They are people who do whatever they want whenever they want, and they have no concept of doing for others. Therefore they tend to be the ones with social problems such as drugs, alcohol, no fixed abode, traffic offences, run-ins with the law, children all over the place, and so on. In more cases than not, our problem soldiers also have problems with society. They are involved in all kinds of negative behaviour. Then they come to us and we have to deal with them.

“Bermuda has some serious social problems, and sadly the Bermuda Regiment has to contend with the effects of these,” Col. Lamb continues. “In doing what we do, we are expected to discipline these young men, for many of whom it is the first time in their lives that they have encountered a strong man in charge - a man whose ‘yes' means yes, and whose ‘no' means no; a man who is going to lead them; and indeed a man who is going to take a keen interest in their welfare.”

What the commanding officer and all levels of command try to inculcate into these recruits is that the army provides, free of charge, opportunities to acquire skills which will set them up for success in life. Citing himself as a prime example, Col. Lamb says that, from entering the army very reluctantly at 18, he soon realised that it provided opportunities which he could not get elsewhere.

“I received management skills, speaking and presentation skills, and I have travelled extensively because of the army. I have made life-long friends for whom I would give my life. All of that happened because I seized the opportunities which the army presented.”

The same holds true today, and is why the Regiment remains successful in turning negative lives into positive ones.

“Recruits see real Bermudians, officers like myself, leading them - people who are making the sacrifice to serve their country. That is why most of them, once they open their minds and understand what we are about, realise that the Regiment isn't so bad after all.”

Summing up the issue of discipline and punishment as a whole, Col. Lamb says the Regiment has various powers and levels of authority with which to deal with offenders. Each case is judged on its merits, with sentences determined accordingly.

“Some of these guys genuinely have very limited coping skills. They don't cope with life very well because they have not been taught how to do so,” he says.

Turning to all of the men now in Regiment custody at Warwick Camp, the commanding officer says their sentences go beyond punishment for their immediate sins to the wider issue of being prepared to serve their country.

“We have to be constantly vigilant in ensuring that the right message is sent to our soldiers, and that is: ‘We are not here to fight anybody's war. We are here to serve in and defend the interests of our country'.”