It's never easy to walk away from something you love. And it's even worse when you're forced away against your will.

Just ask PHC soccer player Mike Dill.

Every day, since badly injuring his left anterior cruciate ligament while making a tackle during a match against BAA last November 27, has been a frustrating one for the Zebras sweeper.

Unable to play the game that brought him to prominence as well as his many other physically demanding hobbies, Dill says he's struggled just to maintain his sanity during his time on the sidelines.

But his desire remains strong and it's his intention to eventually make a return and be able to leave the game on his own terms, even if that means going against the advice of his physician.

Dr. Joseph Francioni, who performed reconstructive surgery to repair torn ligaments and tendons, according to Dill, has advised him against resuming sports which involve strong physical contact such as soccer. But the former PHC and Bermuda international defender, at 35, is determined to return.

"I would like to come back even though right now there doesn't seem to be much future in it for me. I'll see how it goes,'' said Dill, an admitted fitness fanatic, who aside from soccer also dabbles in softball, tennis, cycling, cricket and weightlifting among other activities.

"I'd just rather walk out from the game rather than be carried off, which is what literally happened.

"The doctor doesn't really recommend that I play again, but if I do things right with my rehabilitation, the knee could end up as strong or even stronger than my right.'' The accident happened as an off-balance Dill attempted to cut out an attack by BAA, but in blocking the shot had his left knee literally collapse underneath him.

He avoided having surgery for six months, but with the prospect of not being able to play competitive sports without an operation, Dill finally succumbed.

It is estimated that he will need a year of rehabilitation before he will be able to return.

"It's weird, because there's nothing like being able to do the things you like to do and have always been able to do when you liked,'' said Dill, reduced to having to move about with the aid of crutches and enduring a daily regimen of physical therapy.

"I do a lot of things and am always active. It's so different now being laid up and I can see how some athletes retire and then come back out...you miss it and it pulls you.

"I'm tempted to just take off the crutches and do something, the call is just there. My legs are tickling me and it's difficult to keep still.

The situation got so bad during the second half of last season that Dill would not even go to a soccer match because it hurt him to stand on the sidelines, knowing that he should be out there on the pitch.

Still, Dill said that he will make himself available to the team that has brought him joy and much reward since he moved over from neighbouring Warwick in 1980.

"I'll be somewhere in the background, whether it will be washing jerseys, carrying water, giving encouragement, anything to help the team, but I want to get in one more season or even a game. I want to go out on my own,'' he insisted.

MIKE DILL -- out of action since suffering a serious leg injury in a match against BAA last November.