Dear Annie: I am an intelligent, educated, attractive woman, in good physical shape, and I like to cook and keep house. My daughter always tells me, “You’re hot, Mom. Anybody would be happy with you.”I left a 30-year marriage because I never felt fulfilled, and then I experienced empty-nest syndrome. After considerable counselling by my pastor, I got a divorce that I don’t regret. I dated a bit and am now living with “Andy.” He’s sweet, kind, loving, generous, thoughtful and a hard worker, and we have wonderful conversations, share the same taste in everything and really enjoy each other’s company.

My problem is coming to terms with the “baggage.” Andy has been married three times and then had a relationship with a neighbour that recently ended. However, she kept coming over to borrow things they had previously used together. I got upset and told him he needed to set boundaries with her. He then told her I wasn’t comfortable with her and that their relationship was over.

Now I wonder how long he’ll last with me. Andy claims his last relationship was nothing like ours, but I wonder why it took him four years to find out. He says he’s looking for marriage and that we have the elements for a good one (which I agree with), but I am still wondering. — Nervous NellieDear Nellie: We can understand why you are nervous about a guy who has been married three times and recently broke up after a four-year relationship. It doesn’t mean he hasn’t finally found Ms. Right in you, but it pays to be cautious. We strongly recommend couples counselling. Now>

Dear Annie: A work acquaintance recently had my family over for dinner. She and her husband are nice enough, but they provide such minimal supervision for their two toddlers that I feared for the children’s safety the entire time we were there.I have heard her stories of their antics, such as climbing to high places and getting into things they shouldn’t, but I thought she must have exaggerated, because I could not believe any parent could be so irresponsible. I was wrong. As I mentioned, they are nice people, but I don’t feel I could be witness to all this wild behaviour again, in public or private. (I know the children are allowed to roam freely through restaurants.) How do I politely decline future invitations without divulging the reason? — Baffled and TerrifiedDear Baffled: Parents who think children don’t require supervision are deluding themselves, and if a child were to be seriously hurt, the parents could be charged with neglect. If they invite you again, say, “Sorry, we can’t make it.” No reason is necessary. At some point, however, you should invite them to join you for dinner, making it clear it’s “adults only.” This will let them know, politely, that you enjoy their company, but not their out-of-control childreB>

Dear Annie: <$>Please tell “California Charger” that he and his wife should take the eight-hour Driver Safety Program offered by AARP. The course is taught by trained volunteers all across the United States. The cost is $10 per person for a very useful workbook and lively class discussion (no tests are given). Once the course is completed, insurance companies provide a discount on auto insurance. The best part, however, is that those who participate learn many defensive driving skills that every driver needs these days, regardless of age. I have benefited for many years from the information I learned during the classes. Contact www.aarp.org/drive or 1-888-AARP-NOW (1-888-227-7669) for more information and class schedules. — Online Gran, Memphis, Tennessee.

Dear Memphi<$>Thanks for reminding us. The AARP course is available in person or online to drivers age 50 and over. We hope anyone who is interested will check it out.