YOU’VE sailed off on a much-anticipated travel adventure at sea. Exciting new ports and the relaxed pace of cruising life are ahead . . . or so you hope! For our family, there is no vacation quite as special as cruising.Unfortunately, there is the albeit rare possibility you’ll get more adventure than you bargained for. A few recent headlines focused on some examples. Little-expected disasters such as a sinking ship, another taking on water after running onto rocks . . . always it seems in the dark of night.

Few people read a ship’s contract before they set sail. It’s normally written in such legalese, they’d need a law degree to understand its implications. And then probably ignore it because they think “this will never happen to me.” And it’s quite likely they’re absolutely right, it won’t. But knowledge is power, so it pays to be informed.

We’ve just experienced one of the worst lifeboat drills on the more than 60 ships on which we’ve travelled. It got us to thinking about what we’d really do in the event an emergency evacuation was needed.

At 5.15 the afternoon we boarded Regent’s Seven Seas Mariner in San Francisco, lifeboat drill was called for 700 passengers on board. The ship was scheduled to sail at 6 p.m.

So obediently, as instructed, we proceeded down from our suite on deck nine to the two-level theatre on decks five and six. Normally, on other ships, passengers are instructed to proceed immediately to the lifeboat muster station in life jackets.

The procedure dragged on and on in the theatre and finally passengers were led up to lifeboat stations. Another interminable procedure and was now very close to sailing time.

There were to be 150 passengers per lifeboat and passengers around us were beginning to grumble about the inefficiency of the operation. Finally, we were released and everyone headed for stairs and elevators in a massive jam.

Meanwhile, the ship had cast off and special initial excitement of departure was lost because you were locked inside in chaos. For days we heard people mumbling there was no way they were going down to the theatre if an alarm sounded, then on to a 150-passenger cramped lifeboat.

“After that experience, I’d prefer to lash my balcony deck chairs together and take my chances,” insisted one passenger. And that’s exactly how we felt.

“Are lifeboats all so big today? That’s not what I expect on a smaller ship where I’ve paid a premium not to be with masses of people,” said another.

“Do they do this for cost efficiency or what?” complained yet another corporate executive.

Obviously lifeboat drill is necessary. But a US customs official who boarded in Prince Rupert, British Columbia told us: “By law, it isn’t required until within 24 hours of departure, not immediately.”

Does anyone sell an inflatable raft that can emerge inflated from a suitcase-size carrier if needed? There’s a market for them on this ship.

Back to those contracts. On all common carriers, they’re normally unilateral, which translates as one-sided. Ships, buses, trains and airlines all have rights. If you choose to dispute them, expect a court date set for somewhere like Timbuktu, Mali on February 28 in some distant year.

Obviously, the right for them to change itineraries due to natural or man-made disasters is important . . . an earthquake, typhoon, hurricane, 9-11 and so on.

Those are all understandable. But they can also arbitrarily cancel a trip if enough people haven’t signed up, after you’ve bought and paid for a plane ticket for example . . . or various other reasons of their choice.

That happened to me several years ago when Carnival’s theew Spirit arbitrarily changed ports during a cruise. We were scheduled to drive down from a Cancun conference to join the ship in Belize, but a telegram arrived announcing the ship had decided to call at Costa Rica first, because Belize was too crowded on that date. Why hadn’t they realised that earlier?

That meant buying a last-minute plane ticket from Cancun to Mexico City, then on to Costa Rica to stay overnight before driving across country to the port . . . all within unilateral rights of the ship’s contracBK>There<$> are times, though, when it’s very understandable and the cruise line needs the authority to make last-minute changes. Like our Holland America cruise that bypassed a planned stop in Trinidad and Tobago years ago because of political problems and substituted a Bahamas port.There was another time when a ship was blocking San Juan’s harbour (as I recall with former President Jimmy Carter aboard), so it was on to the Virgin Islands instead.

Unfortunately, passengers often don’t see those contract details until they’ve made their reservations, paid for it and tickets finally arrive. In our case, we were told they’d be there ten days before sailing and we had to call and ask that they be sent earlier because we planned to travel in the west.

Don’t like the contract once you see it? There’s a hefty cancellation penalty and, besides, you already have your plane tickets, hotel and so on. Some cruise brochures do actually include portions of the information in their brochures so you’re somewhat forewarned.

But Regent’s Alaska promotion folder sent to us, and on which we based our trip, did not. Leafing through my inventory of ship’s brochures, I found Regent’s 2007-2008 Grand Voyages catalogue and it contained this surprising statement: “Deposit or payment for a reservation constitutes consent to all terms and conditions.”

Above that, under the heading Notification: “For complete information on terms and conditions, itinerary, liability of Regent Seven Seas Cruises, Inc. (RSSC), liability limits, etc. and all categories mentioned below, refer to the Passenger Ticket Contract. A copy of the Passenger Ticket Contract is available by contacting your travel agent or RSSC.”

But most trusting passengers, interested in holding limited space, don’t think about contracts. They’re dreaming of a wonderful adventure ahead.

And, yes, there’s no question it’s the kind of fine-print reading that will make your eyes glaze over. So have mine, as my lawyer brother Jim has me reading both Crystal’s and Regent’s contracts in turn, both almost word for word the same.

But they mean it when you are instructed to “please read this carefully . . . this is a binding contract”.

A trusted travel agent can be your best line of defence. And especially lucky is the traveller who takes a cruise with that treasured agent along to help smooth the path. That is the ultimate in being pampered.

The contract segment where passengers should pay particular attention switches to capital letters so anyone who has read that far doesn’t miss it.

We’ll spare you the boringly complicated legalese. Basically, it states: “The maximum total liability resulting from loss of life or bodily injury shall not exceed the monetary limitations of SDA — Special Drawing Rights adopted by the amended Athens Protocol of 1976.”

“Special Drawing Rights” is a monetary unit specified by the International Monetary Fund whose value fluctuates . . . currently, your life would be valued at around $68,600, according to the contract.

It might be wise to check with your insurer to see how this provision might affect your life insurance.

When a ship neither embarks, disembarks nor calls on a US port, that amount is around $68,600. Things are different, but equally complicated if an American port is involved. And the time limitation for filing is very stringent, with particulars in writing within 185 days. In some instances, only 30 days for a claim are allo.How<$> can this be so? Most cruise ships are incorporated outside the US, fly foreign flags which shield them from more stringent US laws and regulations and have extremely strong lobbies.In some lower-priced cruise ships, those medical facilities have been accused of offering substandard service lacking emergency capability. In the 1990s, the American Medical Association tried without success to get Congress to regulate the cruise industry’s medical care.

The industry has since made an effort to police itself, but experts claim its suggested guidelines are non-binding. Some doctors are lacking in advanced cardiac care training and advanced trauma life support. Many are not licensed to practice in the US.

Be a savvy traveller. Those with health problems should check on facilities before booking a cruise. A few years ago, during a particularly virulent series of Norovirus outbreaks, we wrote a series on hospital facilities onboard ships we’d inspected and found some excellent and others less so.

The 140-passenger WiSpirit <$>had a very qualified doctor taking a short leave from the emergency room of a major Miami hospital. Cruising on Renaissance just before 9-11, we were impressed with its outstanding facilities and a crew training programme in emergency care.

The same was true when we inspected hospital facilities on Regent’s Seven Seas Navigator and interviewed its doctor on an Alaska cruise in 2002. The ship was very welquippOn<$> this last cruise, we didn’t inspect the Seven Seas Mariner hospital. I’d called Regent’s director of strategic marketing, Andrew Poulton, at the direct suggestion and recommendation of an executive at the Minnesota parent company office, to request a press kit with specific information on facilities.He reacted in a strange way, perhaps surprised I wasn’t calling to request some major favours. We had already paid for our tickets, and all I wanted was information. There was absolutely no response or follow-up. So the idea of inspecting the hospital was abandoned.

Does this deter us from taking a cruise? Absolutely not. But knowledge is power and makes all of us far savvier travellers. That classic pink silk Chanel outfit and “Princess Diana” white satin-beaded evening coat will never cruise again, nor will Jim’s kilt.

And my family have always thought treasured jewellery belonged in the bank vault, not impressing travelling strangers. So, yes, we’re already scanning cruise brochures, a perpetual pastime in our household, and we’ll be talking more about the very special delights of our most recent Alaska and British Columbia adventure in weeks to come.

But there is an attention-getting sentence in the contract that sticks in our mind: “Among other rights reserved by the company, the company may choose not to accept any person as a member of the cruise for any reason.”

Does that include race, religion . . . and journalists who tell the truth?