Dear Annie: I have been dating “Erina” for seven months. She is addicted to heroin and crack cocaine. At first, she kept it from me and lied about where she was going or what she was doing. Now it’s reached the point where she will ask me for money to purchase her drugs.There are times when Erina disappears for days at a time. She goes off with men two or even three times her age, because she knows they will buy drugs for her. She swears up and down that nothing sexual is going on, but I find that really hard to believe. She must be trading something for that money.

Erina has been to detox and was in an outpatient programme, but it did nothing for her. Her main priority in life is to get high. She sleeps all day and sometimes doesn’t even bathe. Everybody tells me to leave her and then maybe she will realise she’s losing a good thing. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for her and her family. I love her, and I’m sure if I break up with her, she will totally hit rock bottom and possibly die. — Hopeless and HurtDear Hopeless: You are NOT responsible for Erina’s spiralling addiction or how she deals with it. If she hits rock bottom, it’s because she needs to get there before she is willing to be seriously helped. You cannot make this happen. She has to want it for herself, and right now, she loves her drugs more than she loves you. Please contact Families Anonymous (familiesanonymous.org) at 1-800-736- 9805 or Nar-Anon Family Groups (nar-anon.org) at 1-800-477-6291 for help and information.

Dear Annie$>I have noticed a rather frustrating tendency in women to interrupt conversations. I’m not talking about cocktail party chat, but situations where folks are talking, such as after church services or waiting in line for a concert. A number of times, I (a man) have been in mid-sentence with a woman when another female will approach and step right in between us, greet the other gal with a hug and begin a totally separate conversation. Now, Annie, I am a normal, decent-looking guy with fair social skills. I don’t monopolise people, and I am not hitting on these ladies. I don’t believe this kind of behaviour is socially acceptable. It leaves me feeling rather foolish — like what I have to say is of no value. How do I graciously let someone know they are being rude? I don’t want to be petty, but I’m tired of being disrespected. — Fed Up in Florida

Dear Ann <$>This is in response to “Frustrated Dad in Mayberry”, who bemoaned the behaviour of parents at a children’s programme. Children work very hard to prepare for these programmes. They deserve respect.I have come to dread going to my daughter’s school programmes. Parents shout at their kids on stage during the performance, talk loudly to each other, and stand up to take pictures or videotape. The music director at my church came up with this solution: They now pay someone to film the programme, and DVDs are sold for $10. Parents are asked not to use flash photography or film.

Some parents were miffed, but most people have been very pleased with the result. — Frustrated Mom from Mayld<$>Dear Mayfield: Many schools do, and we think it’s a great idea. It doesn’t solve all the problems, but it helps.