Dear Annie: “Susan” and I have been married for three years, and while we love each other, the end may be near. Susan was cheated on in a previous relationship, but has made no effort to get past it, and she is entirely convinced I have been having affairs. (I have always been 100 percent faithful.)In her obsessive witch hunt, Susan has opened my mail, checked my cell phone and computer history and followed me when I run errands. She sees “evidence” of my unfaithfulness everywhere. If I baulk at shopping with her, it’s so I can stay home and chat online with anonymous women. If my nightly walk with the dog lasts ten minutes too long, it’s because of a tryst at the dog park.

I am a nurse and wear gloves all day, but Susan believes the odour of latex means I was handling a condom. I soiled a shirt once and came home wearing a scrub top. She assumed it was to hide lipstick stains. If I leave work late because of a patient crisis, she thinks I’ve met someone. If I’m too exhausted for sex after a 12-hour shift, it means I’ve been fooling around in the linen closet at work. There are other absurd examples, but you get the idea. Yet she doesn’t think she’s obsessive.

We’ve tried couples and individual counselling, to no avail. Susan is seeing a psychiatrist, but the antidepressants haven’t helped. I have been extremely tolerant up to this point, but it’s bordering on psychological abuse, and I can’t put up with it any longer. Any suggestions? — Unjustly Accused, Tried and ConvictedDear Accused: <$>Susan’s insecurity borders on paranoia. If her psychiatrist is unaware of her obsessive behaviour, you should inform the doctor and ask that it be addressed at their next session, and also explain how close you are to walking out. If Susan refuses to work on her problems, you may need to distance yourself for the sake of your own mental health.Dear Annie$>My sister is getting married in July, and they are deciding whether or not to open the wedding gifts at the reception. She says “no”, and her fiance says “yes”. All of us have a different opinion. Can you help? — Confused Bridesmaid in Kansas

Dear Kansa<$>It is not a good idea to open the gifts at the reception. It may embarrass some of the guests, and it becomes much more difficult to keep track of things when boxes are opened, ribbons are scattered and cards fall out. Gifts that are brought to the reception should be placed on a table set up for that purpose and opened later, at home.

Dear Ann <$>Upon reading the letter from “Bozo’s Husband”, I felt compelled to write. Bozo’s wife, “Penny”, thinks it is hilarious to slap the behind of whoever happens to be bending over in front of her. This is neither funny nor innocent. It is abuse. And, in a court of law, it could easily be seen as assault.One of these days, Penny is going to slap someone who will not find this behaviour amusing, and she will end up in court. If convicted, she will have a police record. As the director of a domestic violence shelter, I can assure you that if Penny did that to one of our clients, I would encourage that person to press charges immediately. No one has the right to slap another individual — whether in “fun” or in anger. — Sandra C. Becker, Executive Director, Help and Emergency Response Inc., Portsmouth, Viria<$>Dear Sandra Ber: <$>Many readers wrote and expressed similar sentiments. Thanks for making it clear that there could be legal repercussions as well as social ones.