Dear Annie: Our daughter, “Madison,” will be 24 soon. She is a very bright girl and an extremely talented artist. When she attended junior college here at home, we paid for her tuition, books and related expenses. She held part-time jobs and lived at home rent-free. Each semester, she dropped usually all but one or two classes. The last semester she attended, we told her she would have to pay for all school expenses and we would reimburse her for classes completed. She enrolled for a full schedule and completed only one class. She never asked to be reimbursed, as she knew how disappointed we were.

This is our dilemma. Madison wants to attend a specific art school out of state. She has moved to that state and wants to start next semester. She has no credit history and cannot get a loan. She thinks we should co-sign a loan to pay her tuition.

One semester at this school equals the price of an expensive car. Are we unreasonable not to do this? We never promised her we would co-sign for a loan. We are not wealthy people. We live a modest life and need to focus on our retirement. We are afraid Madison will default and we’ll be stuck paying this loan. Can you think of another solution? — No Co-Signers

Dear Co-Sign:<$> Madison should talk to someone at the college about financial aid and see what can be worked out. She might appreciate her education more if the cost comes out of her own pocket, and it is not necessary for you to keep forking over until the well runs dry. Suggest she take classes at a school that will allow her to keep a day job until she saves up enough or develops a credit history that will allow her to transfer to the college of her dreams.

Dear Annie: My husband uses a toothpick after every meal, for hours. His addiction to this nasty habit has become unbearable. Our dinner invitations have dwindled because our friends can’t stand to watch him digging for after-meal snacks anymore.

My husband has swallowed small pieces of wood because he will break the toothpick in half and keep it inside his mouth. He claims he can’t stand to have anything stuck in his teeth. I realise toothpicks were invented to dislodge stuck food, but shouldn’t this be done in the privacy of your bathroom? — We Need Interveon

Dear Need Intervention: Of course. If your husband is addicted to chewing toothpicks, he should understand that other people find it unappetising. You might also suggest he mention this to his dentist, since he seems to be doing it obsessively, and he should keep in mind that accidentally swallowing toothpicks can lead to major medical emergencies.

Dear Annie: You often tell the family members of an elderly person to talk to the person’s doctor. That is futile these days.

My mother is 80 and has several health issues. She can still function on her own and does not want any of her children involved in her medical care. She is very secretive, and we have no idea what types of medication she is on. When we bring this up, she just says her doctor knows what she takes and to stay out of her business.

Forget trying to talk to the doctor. He’s as closed-mouthed as she is. If we call him to discuss some of Mom’s health or behaviour issues, he doesn’t seem particularly interested and keeps repeating that he can’t tell us anything. Our mother loves him and would never change physicians.

While the right-to-privacy laws are beneficial, in the case of the elderly, they seem to do more harm than good. — In the Dark on the Eastast

Dear East Coast:<$> We know this is hard on children of older parents. However, when we say “talk to the doctor,” we mean alert the physician to discuss worrisome issues with the patient. Being 80 doesn’t make Mom incompetent, even if you disagree with her choices. Sorry.