Dear Annie: My mother-in-law is an extremely controlling person, especially when it comes to my easygoing husband, her only child. She will cry and throw fits when she doesn’t see him or he doesn’t call her for a few days. She dominates every conversation, and I dread any time I have to spend with her.I have been with my husband over ten years, and just when I think her behaviour is getting better, it gets worse. For example, she called my husband to help her carry a turkey into her house after grocery shopping. How did the turkey get into her shopping cart and car trunk to begin with?

She also relies on him to help care for her elderly mother. She thinks the burden should be split between the two of them. (She has no siblings.) When he doesn’t accommodate her, she cries and yells. I have remained calm through this, but I feel as if I am going to explode.

My entire family sees how she behaves and agrees with me. Tell me, Annie, is she going to get worse as she gets older? How will she act when we have children? I’m not going to be able to hide my true feelings much longer. I am beginning to despise this woman. Any advice? — Florida Wif>Dear Florida$>Some of your complaints are more justified than others. Mom should not be yelling and crying because Sonny Boy doesn’t call often enough. However, asking for help with Grandma is perfectly reasonable, and grocery store personnel often help lift heavy items into shopping carts and car trunks.The problem is, you dislike her so much, you aren’t inclined to cut her any slack. Try to find one thing about this woman to admire, and focus on it. Yes, it may get worse when you have kids, but as long as your husband is supportive and puts you first, we hope you can find a way to cope with her.Dear Anni<$>My eight-year-old granddaughter was just diagnosed with “fructose intolerance”, and it’s a nightmare trying to figure out what she can eat. A majority of foods have fructose, sucrose or sorbital, and she can’t tolerate any of them. She can have some vegetables, white milk and meat. We did find a French bread she can eat, but she can’t have a cookie, pancake or piece of fruit. Even ketchup and some yoghurts are full of fructose. Recipes and sources for specialty foods are non-existent. She’s a very tiny child and extremely thin. I was hoping maybe one of your readers would know of a support group. — Michigan Grandmor<$>

Dear Michigan: You might find useful ideas in cookbooks for diabetics, and here are two online resources for recipes and support: Boston University Biology Department at www.bu.edu/aldolase and The Food Intolerant Consumer at www.foodintol.com. If our readers have other suggestions, we’ll print m.

Dear Annie: <$>My husband is a physician who works very late and often does not arrive home until after midnight. He is praised by patients for the time he spends with them. When he isn’t working, he plays golf. If I suggest a movie, he will often fall asleep in the theatre.I resent that he is not more attentive to me or our nearly grown children. If I comment that other doctors manage to have a family life as well as give good care to their patients, our daughter becomes irritated and rigorously defends her father. He also becomes angry if I find fault. — Lauren in Cambridge, Massachtts<$>Dear Lauren: This is a common complaint from people whose spouses keep long hours. We think your husband is a workaholic who defines himself by his job. Don’t criticise him in front of your children. Accept him as he is.