Dear Annie: I have been happily married to the woman of my dreams for two years. My question concerns my ex, “Julie”. We dated on and off for quite some time, and she was a huge part of my life for eight years prior to meeting my wife. When I became engaged, Julie didn’t take the news well, and we didn’t speak for a long time. She always thought we would get married, and for a time, so did I.Recently, Julie and I got reacquainted through a mutual friend and have begun talking on the phone and e-mailing. My wife is aware of these conversations — I keep nothing from her. But I question whether or not talking to Julie is the proper thing.

Julie knows so much about me and we shared so much of our past, it feels really nice to have that connection. As long as I make my wife aware of what’s going on, is it OK to maintain contact, or am I just asking for trouble? In all honesty, if the roles were reversed, I can’t say I’d be too happy with my wife communicating with an old boyfriend. — Needing Guidance in the SouthDear Need Guidance: <$>If the conversations are not too personal, if Julie isn’t looking to get back together, if you aren’t using the contact to flirt, and if your wife is always welcome to look at the messages and listen to the phone calls, then it’s OK. Examine your motives thoroughly and ask your wife how she feels about it. As long as you can honestly say it’s only friendship, you’re fine, but if it ever starts to feel like something else, we trust you will put a stop to it immediately.

Dear Annie$>My daughter had twins a year ago, and we are all thrilled to no end. The problem is, my mother seems to think it is my responsibility to make arrangements for her and her extended family to see the twins and to provide current pictures at a moment’s notice (at my expense). She loudly chastises me in front of everyone when she feels I haven’t provided these things.We hold the normal family celebrations, and everyone is always invited. My daughter has repeatedly asked the entire family to come to her house anytime, but she lives 30 minutes away and they think it’s too far, even though they often travel farther to see other family members.

She insists I host my daughter at my house in order for her to visit. While I invite the entire family over occasionally, I don’t always want to share my time with my grandkids. Meanwhile, Mom has never invited my daughter to her home. Am I being stubborn? Should I give in to her demands? — Fed<$>Dear Fed Up: As long as you have your mother and other relatives over on occasion, that is sufficient. If Mom is capable of visiting people who live a great distance away, she should have no trouble seeing her great-grandchildren, and she certainly can invite them to her house if she wants to see them more often. Ignore her criticisms of your hospitality. Some people just like to compl.Dear An: <$>The letter from “Worried All the Time” was all too familiar. I, too, suffered from persistent thoughts of terrible things happening to my children. After some research and mental health counselling, I discovered I have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).I urge “Worried” to seek help from a qualified mental health professional to determine if this could be her problem. — Used to Be Worried All the Time Downuth<$>Dear Used to Be Worried: These days, it can be difficult to distinguish between parents who are obsessively worried and those who are simply dealing with dangerous and unpredictable times.