Dear Annie: Five years ago, I became friends with one of the teachers at my daughter’s school. “Sara” and I hit it off instantly, and my husband and I often met her and her husband for dinner. At the time, Sara was in the middle of purchasing a home and complained that money was tight, so I usually picked up the dinner tab. After they purchased the house, she still complained about money, so when I could, I did the driving or paid the dinner bill.Last year, Sara was up for a prestigious teaching award, and the ceremony was in another town. She’d recently had a baby and said she couldn’t attend unless someone could come along and baby-sit, so I promised her that my husband and I would stay overnight at a hotel and watch the baby so she could go.

In the meantime, my husband unexpectedly lost his job. When I told Sara, she asked if she could take me out to dinner to cheer me up. When the waitress came with the bill, Sara pushed it in my direction. I was shocked but paid it. Later, I told Sara my husband and I couldn’t afford an overnight hotel stay to watch her baby, but she became so agitated that we ended up spending a fortune to do her this favour. As it turned out, the school district picked up all the expenses for Sara and her husband. She didn’t even offer to buy us a cup of coffee. My husband says I’m being a sucker. Sara and her husband probably make twice as much as we do. I assured my husband that Sara’s a good friend and I could ask her for anything, but when I called her yesterday to see if she would pick up my mail this weekend, she said gas was too expensive and she’d rather not. I truly like Sara, but I’m wondering if she’s using me. — Can’t Figure It OutDear Can’t Figure: Sara finds your friendship very convenient and financially endearing. Beyond that, however, there doesn’t seem to be much. Your husband is right. It’s time to ditch this one-sided relationship before you start kicking yourself.

Dear Annie$>My dad’s cousin, “Peter”, is coming to this country to visit. Peter is about the same age as my dad and speaks no English. I met him when I travelled with my father, so he and I are not total strangers, but we have difficulty communicating.The problem is, Dad wants Cousin Peter to stay at my house. I think it would be more comfortable for him to stay with Dad, since they speak the same language, but Dad says he doesn’t have space. I offered to move his junk from the spare room, clean it, paint it and give him my extra bed, but Dad won’t hear of it. So, now what? If Dad won’t put forth the effort to accommodate his cousin, why is it my job? — Stuck in the MiddleWe think Cousin Peter should stay with Dad, but if Dad refuses, we hope you will step up to the plate. Perhaps you and Dad could split the visit, or maybe Cousin Peter could sleep at your place and Dad could take him during the day. Or, if you have space, you could invite Dad and Peter both to stay with you. A first-time visit is special. Please try to work something out.

Dear Ann <$>I saw your response to “Addict’s Wife”, and was disappointed that you didn’t tell her that the choice of drug isn’t as important as the fact that drug usage prevents a person from dealing with relationships, responsibilities and reality.Please let future friends and families know that Nar-Anon Family Groups are here for their support and we have an online chat forum, too. People don’t have to keep riding their roller coasters. They can get off whenever they choose. — Connie in Santauz<$>Dear Connie: We have recommended Nar-Anon in the past and are pleased to do so again. Thanks for writing.