“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”— John 3:16, NIV

The other day I watched a podcast with Oprah and a Roman Catholic friar named Richard Rohr. He wrote a book The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom for an Age of Outrage.

This is indeed a time of tears. Who doesn’t feel some depth of despair reflecting upon a broken world?

Age of outrage describes our times pretty well, I thought. There are so many things that drive tears in my eyes these days. Our tears let us know we are human and free. Unfortunately we learn to suppress them and miss the chance to heal and to feel.

I then had to think of a prayer that commonly is called the Prayer of Francis of Assisi. It is a beautiful prayer, even though it probably is not from Francis, who lived in the 12th century. It first appeared in writing in 1912 in France. That does not make it less meaningful. Today is often just called Prayer of Peace.

Reading it again, line by line, it helped me to feel better again. It is comforting to know that the God who created the universe, you and me, our loved ones, all human beings and living things, God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, is here among us, dwells within us in our hearts, minds and souls. He is powerful and all wise. So this prayer connects us with this God. I will use the lines of the prayer as headings for short thoughts on them.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Indeed, we need peace in this world, and peace needs people who are willing to serve peace, both on the world stage and in our private lives. So often we only think of our point of view, want to be right and condemn others. Peace begins with a willingness to see the other side’s point of view and a willingness to forgive both, the other side and ourselves as well and seeking to understand first.

Where there is hatred, let me bring love.

Hatred is ugly. In fact, the German word for ugly (hässlich) contains the root of the German word for hatred (Hass). When one hates not only the face becomes ugly, but the whole person, including the pitch of the voice. The antidote for hatred is love. Love means to empathise and to give to the other person what is actually needed, if I can. Love makes us look and sound lovely rather than ugly. It is transforming and building foundations of hope and possibilities unending.

Where there is offence, let me bring pardon.

It is easy to upset others, to hurt others with what we say and do or even don’t say or do. We all offend others at times, and we all will be offended at times. However, if we want peace, than pardon and forgiveness is the only way out.

Where there is discord, let me bring union.

It hurts when friends, couples, or family fall apart, leave each other over disappointments or offences that have not yet been forgiven. We are social beings, and we need others in our life, especially relatives and the people we love. We want harmony but are so easily divided. How helpful is it then if a mediator brings us together again and helps us repair the union, reminding us that we have value, and other people have value, too.

Where there is error, let me bring truth.

We actually err a lot. All of us. Even people like Einstein erred in their lives. To err is human, a proverb says. However, we often are so deaf to the idea that what we think might just not be true. We rather hold on to what is wrong than to admit that we were wrong. We rather call it our own, personal, or alternative truth, or claim there are multiple truths, than to stand corrected. I am not talking about taste or opinion. Those can differ. I am talking about facts, about things that can be checked or measured.

There is only one truth when it comes to those statements. We might not be able to make the final call what is true, but if there are two opposing statements, at least one will be wrong. For that reason it is smart to consider the possibility that we can still learn something new, that it is no flaw if we have to admit that we had it wrong. To find truth by arguing, debating, listening is an important skill. It demands true listening and deeper thinking.

Where there is doubt, let me bring faith.

Sometimes I have the feeling doubt is planted and nurtured by some to undermine our society. Not just about religion, but about all kind of institutions, governments, people and knowledge in general. But if we doubt everything around us, if we fall for those conspiracy theories that we are lied at all the time, we become easy prey for radicals. Faith means trust. We can and m, maybe should be critical, but we can also learn to trust again as well, trust people, trust truthful institutions, and trust God.

Where there is despair, let me bring hope.

Hold on to hope and embrace hope with both arms outstretched. We need hope to survive. Hope gives us the power and stamina to withstand the blows of life. Without hope, we despair. Life can lose its meaning and purpose. Hope gives us something to look forward to and work for. This seems particularly important in this age of outrage. There still is hope. Let us spread it together.

Where there is darkness, let me bring your light.

This is much more than day and night. Darkness is also a mindset. In darkness we cannot see, light makes us lose our fear and find courage. We need light to understand the world around us, to find our way. Jesus did not only call himself the Light of the World, but he passed this on to those who follow him, In Matthew 5:14-16 (NIV) he says: “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

Where there is sadness, let me bring joy.

There is so much sadness in the world, but there is also joy. Joy is more than fun, it is a deep inner persuasion, a way of life. We can choose to be joyful, to have gratitude, to sing and be happy. Psychologists found out that people who write down what they are grateful for, report a much higher level of happiness in their life after just three to four weeks.

Then the prayer continues as follows:

O Lord, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console,

to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love,

Consoling others means to share their pain for a moment, to see the tears in their eyes, and to be there for them, even if we have little we can say or do. Maybe they might see a tear in our eye, and it will comfort them. Just being there, without judgement, without trying to become the focus ourselves.

To understand means to change my point of view, were I “stand” and pick a new stand. The prefix “under” here actually comes from the Saxon-German word “ander” (pronounced like under) which means different. Stand differently, at a different spot, see the world through the eyes of someone else.

When I talk with young couples who come to me to get married we often talk about the difference between to love and being in love. To love is active, it is the inner desire to let the best happen to somebody else. It is not dependent on me or what I receive.

Being in love, or falling in love, can be passive and all about me, my wonderful feelings, my wishes and my desires. No doubt, it is great to be in love, to feel the love from the other one. That is how it may begin, and then we have to move on to love, to take the focus from me to you.

At the end the prayer gives confirmation that does not need much explanation:

for it is in giving that one receives, it is in self-forgetting that one finds, it is in forgiving that one is forgiven, it is in dying that one awakens to eternal life.

Imagine your smile could change the world. Peace begins with a smile we give. It is about how we treat others and in turn ourselves. When we give a smile we usually receive one back. Smiling makes us forget our own pain and then find so much more love. Yes, let us give each other more smiles.

Maybe begin with our children, then our family, and neighbours. Bermuda had always a reputation of being a country of smiling friendly people. We can plant seeds of peace with every smile, and then move forward to forgiveness.

As a Christian I am confident that our life in this world is only the beginning. We will find life everlasting with our God. If that was not the case this life would have no meaning. Only by finding life after death all our days really make sense, our love, our attempts to find peace.

• Karsten Decker was the pastor of Peace Lutheran Church in Bermuda from 2010 to 2017, and after returning from Germany is now the temporary pulpit supply at Centenary United Methodist Church in Smith’s