This week, The Royal Gazettereported that the number of weddings declined significantly in Bermuda. While a one year drop by 17 per cent may not be concerning, the 25-year statistic shows that the numbers since 2000 dropped by almost 75 per cent from 1,023 marriages in the year 2000 to 273 in 2025.

Young couples who actually want to get married often never attended a wedding themselves and often only know wedding ceremonies from Hollywood movies, which in turn influences how they imagine their own wedding. There might be several reasons for this decline in marriages, maybe it is just part of a changing world.

We live in an ever changing world.

Sometimes change can solve problems that seemed overwhelming just a decade ago. One of the biggest problems for New York City at the end of the 19th century was horse manure on the roads. There were mountains on every street corner and city workers could not remove it fast enough.

Then the cars came and horses disappeared. Cars, of course, brought their own problems, but nobody worried about horse manure any longer.

Within the technical world change often makes better solutions possible, though those who produce and sell those products may define “better” from an economic point of view and prioritise profit over customer benefits.

Still, a lot of the change is progress, and sometimes it comes faster than we can handle its consequences.

Let’s have a look at the phones we use every day (sorry, I did not mean you should check your WhatsApp again, I know you probably did so a few minutes ago).

Captain Kirk (ask your parents, who he was) would probably be envious what our phones can do in contrast to his wrist phones, that just could call the Enterprise (Beam me up, Scottie, no intelligent life down here).

Thirty years ago we would come home and listen to the answering machine and decide whether we call back — today we let calls and messages interrupt whatever we are doing.

We can listen to music, watch Netflix, share on Instagram, scroll through TikTok, get the newest gossip from Facebook and buy and sell anything on the run.

And partnership? Check Tinder and Co for the best-looking date nearby — a beautiful new world. However, it comes at a cost (I am not talking about the plan or device).

Do we all become autistic?

Psychologists complain that we voluntarily develop “electronic autism”, the police and the Bermuda Road Safety Council watch helplessly how more and more bikes, cars and trucks hit walls and poles on absolutely straight roads or cause even worse accidents while teachers try to ban phones from the classroom, as more and more students show ADHD symptoms.

And don’t get me started about fake news and misinformation and the political consequences. Newspapers and broadcasting stations verify news and check sources — on Facebook anybody can post anything, change pictures, voices and videos using AI and make people believe whatever they want.

Porn is so prevalent and easy to access (even by mistake) that some children as young as ten get their sexual education from hard core videos, which in turn influences their idea of love and intimacy, while parents think the child is too young to talk about love and relationships (just read about a European study on that).

When it comes to our relationships, those changes have an impact as well. When we increasingly enjoy what we do in solitude (watching our own screen using earphones) even when in public places and together with friends, we actually don’t connect.

Having connection everywhere, we have become the least connected generations ever. Yes, we may still go out, but instead of interacting with those who are there or listening to live music, we check what those are posting who are not present. Relationships and love become secondary, don’t even talk about getting married.

The Bible is all about relationship and love, relationship between people and between us and God. The Bible talks a lot about its heroes marrying and how they found the right partners and created legacy and meaning together.

Other stories tell us how hospitality was essential and people taking time for each other. Jesus made a point in recognising the people he met and giving them his undivided attention.

Our Christ saw and took time for the despised tax collector as well as the lame beggar on the roadside and the lepers who were supposed to keep a safe distance.

When a woman secretly tried to find healing by just touching his garments, he turned to her and gave her his full attention (and healing; Mt 9:20-22) and he did so while he was walking to a different house to check on a child that had died to give new life and hope.

How do we act when meeting people? I remember my parents turning off the TV when unexpected visitors came and plans were changed, just to have uninterrupted time, and it actually felt good.

It feels good to pay attention and to receive attention, even though it takes some effort and may not always be convenient. Time and attention tell us we are appreciated. In order to create relationships, we need to relate first.

Don’t get me wrong. I am a culprit as well. My beautiful bride and mother of our four children, who has been on my side for the last 40 years, actually has to remind me daily of my own advice here. The phone gets us hooked.

New technologies are supposed to make life easier and help us. On the other hand I think it is important that we, not the machine, are setting boundaries.

Research by experts like those at Harvard reveals that having a mobile phone nearby during a test — even if turned off — diminishes cognitive performance and memory recall. This constant “phone-conscious thought” drains mental energy, making it a major distraction during exams, not a tool.

We can take charge of our lives, how we use technology, and how we relate with people. Nobody can force us. It is up to us. We can develop our own policies. Here are just some suggestions: no phone while taking the toddler to the playground, no phone when picking the children up at school, no TV (or phone) while having dinner together, no electronics when we go to bed.

For the couples: no phone when dating, and surely no phone while driving. It may feel strange at first, as we became so addicted, but we can take control again.

We can even call on God to help us, totally without the use of a phone, just by prayer. Peter 4:8-10 (ESV) advises: “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace.”

• Karsten Decker was the pastor of Peace Lutheran Church in Bermuda from 2010 to 2017, and after returning from Germany is now the temporary pulpit supply at Centenary United Methodist Church in Smith’s