One of the greatest gifts of my life has been living in different countries. I have called the United Kingdom, Sweden and Mozambique home, and now Bermuda. Each move came with uncertainty, but I made the same commitment every time: I would not simply live in a place — I would live with its people.

That meant making local friends, listening more than speaking, learning customs, asking questions, accepting invitations, and allowing myself to be changed by the culture around me.

It wasn’t always comfortable. In fact, it was often terrifying. Entering another culture requires humility. It means admitting you do not know everything. It means risking awkward conversations and occasional misunderstandings. But that is where genuine community begins.

Over the past few months, I have noticed something that concerns me. There often seems to be a quiet social distance between many expatriates and Black Bermudians. Of course, there are wonderful exceptions, and many people are intentionally building bridges. But there are also many whose social lives remain almost entirely within expatriate circles.

It would be deeply unfortunate if someone lived in Bermuda for a year — or even many years — and never developed a meaningful friendship with a Black Bermudian. Not a polite conversation at work. Not exchanging greetings at church. A genuine friendship.

Social scientists have studied this for decades. The principle of homophily tells us that people naturally gravitate towards those who are similar to themselves. We tend to choose friends who look like us, share our educational background, speak with similar accents, and hold familiar cultural assumptions. It is a deeply human tendency.

But what is natural is not always what is good.

Research consistently shows that meaningful relationships across racial, cultural and social differences reduce prejudice, increase empathy and strengthen communities.

Psychologist Gordon Allport’s Contact Hypothesis demonstrated that authentic, sustained interaction between groups can transform attitudes and break down stereotypes. More recently, Robert Putnam distinguished between bonding social capital — relationships with people like ourselves — and bridging social capital — relationships that connect us across differences. Healthy societies need both.

Bermuda certainly does.

Martin Luther King Jr dreamt of what he called the “Beloved Community” — a society built not merely on tolerance but on justice, reconciliation and genuine human relationship. He reminded us that “we must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools”.

That vision remains as urgent today as it was over half a century ago.

To the expatriate community, I want to offer both encouragement and challenge.

You did not move to Bermuda simply to recreate the life you left behind. This island has its own history, identity, wounds and extraordinary strengths.

It is not simply a beautiful backdrop for employment or retirement. It is home to people whose ancestors shaped this island through struggle, resilience and hope.

If your friendships consist only of people who look like you, speak like you, earn similar salaries and share your cultural background — and none of them are Black Bermudians, who make up the majority of this island — then it is worth asking some uncomfortable questions.

Perhaps it is not intentional. Most segregation today rarely is.

But if we consume the beauty of Bermuda while remaining socially separate from the people who call it home, we risk repeating patterns that have echoes of colonialism: benefiting from a place without truly belonging to its people or allowing them to shape us in return.

Integration is not achieved through proximity. It is achieved through relationship.

This is not about guilt. It is about invitation.

Accept the dinner invitation. Join a community organisation. Worship somewhere different. Attend Cup Match not simply as a spectator but as a learner. Ask questions about Bermuda’s history. Listen to stories that may challenge your assumptions. Invite someone for coffee. Build friendships that would never have happened had you remained in your comfort zone.

The beautiful truth is that genuine friendships do not diminish who we are — they enlarge us.

The Beloved Community will never be built by accident. It requires courage, curiosity and intentionality.

Perhaps the first wall we need to tear down is not around our neighbourhoods or institutions, but around our own social circles.

• Augustine Tanner-Ihm is the senior minister of Wesley Community Church. He holds a doctorate in theology and a doctorate in transformational leadership and organisational psychology. He is a regular broadcaster with the BBC in the UK, and has also written for publications including the Church Times, ViaMedia and Living Church