Dear Annie: <$>Earlier this year, my best friend, “Helen,” and I decided to get an apartment together. Since she lived on the West Coast, I did all the apartment hunting, put down the deposit and bought furniture and appliances.Helen was messy and rarely cleaned up after herself. She also was not working, and therefore was unable to pay me back the money she owed or contribute to the household bills. She also regularly brought men home, which I found disturbing, especially since she has a boyfriend back in California.

Within weeks, I found a large number of painkillers in our shared bathroom. None of the prescriptions was in Helen’s name. I was shocked and suggested she see a doctor. This escalated into a screaming match. Helen announced she was returning to the West Coast and skipped town while I was at work. She left behind a pet cat and most of her personal possessions.

I am absolutely furious. I cannot afford this much rent. Helen also didn’t disconnect the cable, Internet or phone, all of which are in her name. Since I am not on the accounts, I’ve not been able to shut off these services.

Am I obligated to pay these bills? What do I do about the cat I don’t want? Should I call Helen’s parents? She was acting really erratic, not at all like the person I’ve been friends with all my life. I am angry, but also worried. — Left in the LurchDear Lurch: Call the Internet, cable and phone companies, and tell them Helen has moved and you want to cancel the service or transfer it to your name. You are not otherwise liable for Helen’s bills. Call the Humane Society about the cat. And yes, talk to Helen’s parents. If their daughter is taking illegally obtained painkillers and acting erratically, she could be in serious trouble.

Dear Annie: <$>My sister, “Sally,” and I are going on a five-day cruise together with our brother and his wife. We are all in our 80s and don’t get together very often.Sally is fun to be with most of the time, but she tends to argue a lot and nitpick over little things. She has strong opinions, and even my friends have commented that she is difficult to be around for very long. How can I tactfully tell her to be less argumentative with the new people we will be meeting on the cruise? When I tell her she fights too much, she gets very defensive. She could ruin our vacation. Please help. — Loving SisterDear Sister:<$> You are not going to do a complete overhaul of Sally’s personality in a few weeks, so you’d best learn to accept what you cannot change. You are not responsible for the way Sally interacts with others. People on the cruise can avoid her if they wish. (So can you.) At meals, there are usually enough other guests at a table to carry the conversation over anyone who is particularly disruptive or annoying. And Sally may surprise you by enjoying herself. Try to stop worrying so you can enjoy yourself, too.

Dear Annie: <$>This is in response to “Stuck in Silence,” the gay man who wants to come out to his mother.I came out to my parents some years ago. It felt wonderful. However, my parents had their own crisis. They were the only parents in their community to have a gay son. In turn they went to their clergyman, who was not prepared to offer them advice. PFLAG was not an option then.

“Stuck” might first start a discussion along the lines of “How do you feel about gay people?” Also, many folks seek a sibling’s help dealing with parents. While everything may go smoothly, my advice is to understand that rejection is one of many possible outcomes. He should be prepared to offer resources to deal with issues that may arise and offer Mom compassion while she sorts things out. — I Did ItDear I Did It:<$> Thanks for your insight. We hope “Stuck” sees this.