Dear Carla: I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years. He has a six-year-old son. I get along with his family but they do something that bothers me. They always invite his ex-girlfriend to family functions. I can understand on the child’s birthday or holidays but it’s every family event. This even bothers my boyfriend. He has said something about it but it falls on deaf ears. I do not have a personal issue with his ex but I feel there is no need to have her around all the time. Am I being petty? — NOT JEALOUS

Dear Not Jealous: Have you considered turning this into a positive experience and using the time she is around as an opportunity to get to know her better? This could only benefit both your boyfriend and their child. Clearly his family adores her so it appears she’s not going anywhere. Use it to your advantage.

Dear Carla: I never thought I would write to you but this situation is getting out of control. I pay generous child support to my former wife every week and have never missed a payment. But why does my son call me all the time saying he doesn’t have lunch for school? When I try to talk to his mother about it she refuses to respond. And to top it off, she punishes him for calling me. I don’t want him to keep getting in trouble with her but I don’t want this to continue either. The money I pay is for his needs so why is he being deprived? — FRUSTRATED

Dear Frustrated: Is there anyone who can serve as an intermediary for the two of you? The money should be going towards the care of your son, so you have every reason to be concerned and the fact that she is avoiding you is even more disturbing. If no one can mediate for you then I think you have no choice but to get the courts involved. Maybe she is having financial difficulties but there’s no reason why your son should suffer. Sounds like you may have to take him for a bit to ease up her financial burdens...but of course that would mean that she should expect to receive no funds from you at that time.

Dear Carla: Why are there so many men out there pretending to be such good fathers when they are not? My daughter’s father brags about her all the time but he hardly sees her. He barely provides for her either. I am so mad that he does this. People tell me let it go but it upsets me that he takes credit for everything I do. — MAD

Dear Mad: Firstly, stop being mad. It doesn’t make sense. I know it sounds corny but believe me, when you let go of the anger it makes a difference. Try not to focus on what is not being done and instead be thankful that you have the ability to provide. Let his conscious be his guide...if he has one.