Dear Carla,I work as an administrative assistant in a small company. While I am thankful to my job it does not pay enough to support me and my child. Though to some a easy solution would be to find a second job the problem is I have very little support. You see my parents cut me off because I had my child with a man outside of my race. So if I go and get a second job I would have to pay someone to watch him/her which would defeat the purpose of me working the second job in the first place. I am barely surviving and am starting to get depressed. What can I do?STRUGGLINGDear Struggling,Is there no one you can find to watch your child? A friend or another relative? Someone who won't charge you? Maybe a young person who would like to do community service could do it for you for free (providing they are at least 16 and certified in CPR)? As a single parent myself I understand that dilemma. Let’s discuss the severed relationship with your parents…is there anyone who can help facilitate the rebuilding of your communication? You don’t say how old your child is, but one day without your parents in your life is a day too long. Perhaps enough time has passed where they may have a change of heart. Our elders can be stubborn at times so I think the ball sits in your court regarding reaching out. You have nothing to lose by trying. I hope everything works out for you.Dear Carla,Where does a man go to report his wife for mental abuse? All the bills are in her name yet he has to pay them. He works full time but comes home and has to cook, clean, and wash clothes. He takes their children, both of whom are under five, to and fro from nursery. He pays nursery bills, buys groceries and buys his wife whatever she wants when she demands it. She has cheated on him several times (he has the proof) and he no longer wants to remain in their bedroom. She once went on vacation off Island and never told him. She just left. He is non-Bermudian and he is afraid to speak out, out of fear that she will carry out her threat to send him home. I have advised him to report her to Immigration. What do you think he should do?TRYING TO HELPDear Trying to Help,First and foremost it sounds like he needs help to deal with the mental burden that he is carrying. While men are less likely than women to report abuse, encourage him to contact one of the many helping agents on the Island who can assist him with resources. I think he should also report his situation to the Department of Immigration. She sounds selfish so I can envision her lying to Immigration to her advantage as I have heard many horror stories about Bermudian women abusing their expat spouses this way. If there is one, does his country have an Association that he can go to? Perhaps people from him fellow country can offer him some sort of support as well.Dear Carla,My 11-year-old daughter has been going through puberty and is very hairy in her private areas. During the winter it was no big deal but now that summer is upon is, I feel that she should wear shorts with her bathing suit because I was raised that a lady does not shave before 16. Everyone I talk to says that I am being old fashioned. She does not wish to wear shorts as none of her friends do. And she is embarrassed by the arm pit hair. Am I being too hard-nosed on this?MOMDear Mom,Relax and allow your daughter to have the hair removed. Especially the underarm hairs. While some women proudly display the hair under their arms, I do not think one should force that ideal on young ladies. They will most likely be teased by their peers and let’s not forget the body odour that can occur in this heat. If you do not believe in shaving, how about using a hair removal cream? There is no need to use a blade it delivers just as good a result. C’mon mom. Loosen up and let your daughter enjoy her summer!Dear Carla,I asked a female out on a date. I took her to dinner and gladly paid the bill. Since then we have been out several times on my invitation and hers, but she never offers to pay. I am starting to get annoyed with this. How do I point it out to her without her thinking that I am being cheap? Or are men supposed to pay at all times?BURNTDear Burnt,I think that both men and women should go dutch or at least alternate who pays after the first date. While some men prefer to pay all the time, I think the female should at least offer and let the man make the choice. Say something to her. Just be tactful about it.