OK, here's the deal: the third annual Jakoma Entertainment J2K Vocal Talent Competition was a well produced, nicely polished event (just as we've come to expect from Jakoma). The acts were all sorted - there were nine competitors, two returning acts, one special guest appearance and a bunch host-induced hilarity. The only thing that was missing was a significant degree of actual vocal talent (gasp! Yes, I did go there).

Now before you all go getting irate, you must understand that once a person gets up on a stage and presents something that they hope will win a prize package in excess of $3,500, that person should really make sure that they are ready to compete. Nerves are not an acceptable excuse during a competition, and we really need to stop coddling these kids and telling them that they have all this talent that they simply do not.

The problems with the talent were many; there were singers who just could not stay on key, fellas who were trying to mack the crowd instead of sing and dancers whose best moves were the flashing lights. I found myself sitting and brainstorming to find positive things to say during many an act; I failed during all but four. I've therefore decided to forego the customary play-by-play and simply mention the moments that I deem worthy of mention. My mother once told me that if I have nothing good to say then don't say anything at all, so if you find that you or someone you know is not mentioned in detail in this review, don't hate me, thank me.

The show started just after 8 p.m. on Saturday evening with the introduction of the esteemed Masters of Ceremony, Mr. Roni Lopes and Mr. Owen Millet, as well as the guest Hostess, Miss Teen Bermuda, Gaynete Edwards. Roni was a returning host, while Owen slid into the slot left vacant by Jarizhino Simmons, and did a fine job throughout the night.

The first real act of the night was the reigning champion Nhoj Steede, who delivered a more low key version of last year's act, this time singing "Our God Is An Awesome God" and dancing alongside his little paht-nah to great effect. The act was a nice touch and at the very least got us all in the mood for clapping (which is always good at a live stage show innit?).

The judges were introduced next, and pretty soon we were watching the first contestant (Waynisha Butterfield) travel through more keys than a resident of Southern Florida while singing the beautiful "I Still Believe". She started off pretty nicely, but something went terribly awry sometime after the first minute.

The second act was easily the most creative of the show. Returning contestant Black went all out this year, making use of the entire stage and some nine other performers to illustrate the message she was delivering in her brilliant original piece "Sodom And Gomorrah". The piece was a half spoken, half sung poem about the societal ills we are all facing during these difficult days. The entire act was quite well done and her content struck an obviously tender nerve because the ovation that followed was loud and long; a very nice act.

Next up was another veteran of the J2K Competition, the newly dubbed J-Yella (you may remember her as Josie or Jozelle). J's M.O. (modus operandi) was much the same as it's always been: nice vocals, nicer dancers and dazzling lights. In previous years she entertained, but something was missing. This year she got it right, delivering an original piece called "Suddenly" with just the right amount of attitude and innocence, and employing some pretty competent dancers to back her up.

Alexandra and Edwina closed out the first half of the show with some fanfare, but none more than politeness demanded.

The second half of the show opened with a performance by a group calling themselves the Chewstick Neo-Griots. They delivered message laden poems and songs with considerable skill, winning new fans at will, and shamelessly plugging their new open mic event, the Chewstick Neo-Griot Lounge (at the Champions Sports Club on Reid Street every other Sunday - how's that for another shameless plug?). Each performer dropped knowledge and got love from the crowd, but after each person did one piece, they kept going, right up until it felt like they'd been on for too long. But in the end, all was forgiven, due mainly to the fact that the quality of their material was so high.

Ryan Bean was the next contestant to grace the Ruth Seaton James Auditorium stage, carrying with him a voice that could serenade a kitten out of a tree. The best thing I can say about this act is that the guy used his undeniably good voice wrong. Yup, he just used it wrong! He started out very nicely, with a stunning rendition of the classic "Betcha By Golly Wow!", but then he decided to tell us about how he'd mack some unfortunate young lady through song. He went through a bunch of other songs and shined quite brightly during the Peabo Bryson standard "Can You Stop The Rain", but the premise had already lost him more judges' votes than he could afford to give away. If Ryan had selected one piece and put his all into it, he would certainly have been a contender for the big trophy.

Now the next act knew what she was doing. Larrita Adderley delivered the only Gospel-inspired performance of the evening (other than Nhoj of course), and tore the roof off! She was loud, powerful and quite awesome at times during her blistering rendition of the Christian standard "His Name Is Jesus". Suffice to say that after the crowd sprung into involuntary applause during the last few seconds of her performance, it was quite obvious who was going to win this year's J2K Vocal talent Competition. It was the only full standing ovation of the evening, and it lasted a good two minutes. Oh, and it was absolutely well deserved.

Charlita 504 and Freddie Swan did their things next, but both acts seemed irrelevant by now, and neither was terribly impressive anyhow.

Last year's runner-up (Teanne Trott) returned to perform a nice medley of "Killing Me Softly" and the stunning Wanye Wonder hit "No Holding Back", Owen dropped what is destined to be a new dance sensation come summertime (the `Test Match') on us, and there was some confusion about a 2002 Reggae Tribute during the time the accountant's need to tally up all the votes, but once they did, the surprises were few and far between.

Second Runner-up went to the exceedingly talented Black, First Runner-up went to the persistent J-Yella and the grand prize went to Larrita Adderly. Believe it or not, I have absolutely no complaints about these results. For the first time in this event;s short history, the judges have gotten it absolutely right; perhaps radio personalities are better judges of talent than random adults are (who knew?).